Angelique (www.twitter.com/Laughing_Bones) brings you another great b-movie review.

Since I wasn’t run off with flaming torches and pitchforks, I decided to give you guys another one.  One of my very favorite bits of cheese; parents hate ‘em, the kids adore ‘em, they’re a hit at slumber parties…have you guessed it?

That’s right, it’s Witchboard!

It’s totally the 80’s, ladies and gentlemen, that is fer sure!  There is a lot of neon and spiky hair at Linda (Tawny Kitaen) and Jim’s (Todd Allen) party; They’re celebrating…something; what it is isn’t really ever made clear, or I missed it because I’m on a lot of sinus medication.  What is clear is that there are a lot of Pepsi products, a lot of Jack Daniels, and a lot of macho posturing over Linda between Brandon (Stephen Nichols) and Jim.  This entire first scene could have had the dialogue replaced with grunts and club waving and the point still would have come across.  Rich boy lost girl to poor boy, and Rich Boy is trying to convince her he’s better.  With a Ouija board.  Yeah, I know, you’d think it’d be a little sexy, what with the board sitting on their knees and them having to get close, but his pinky ring and her firey mane gets in the way.  I’m serious; it looks like Tawny had been attacked by the Blob, only it didn’t eat her, it just chose to perch on her head forever.  I know this was in the Whitesnake “Here I Go Again” heyday, but come on, this is a ridiculous amount of hair.

Basically what little party footage we have is a lengthy pseudo-intellectual yuppie-type party discussion on religion and spirituality (Don’t you love those kind of parties!), culminating with Brandon saying he’s essentially an athiest, but he likes to talk to the spirits of the dead through the Ouija.  Let me pause here by saying that you come across as a huge dick, when you correct people when they say “Wee-Gee” instead of the proper “Wee-Jah,” then go into the history of it being the French and German Words for ‘Yes’ and then giving the pronunciation guide again.  NOBODY CARES, BRANDON!  It’s a party, relax!  You’re wearing an 800-dollar suit, sitting on a naugahyde sofa that’s covered in cheese popcorn.  Nobody gives a rat’s a** about your seance credentials.  We cut to scenes of the dudes that I’d be hanging out with if I had been there, namely Jim and his best friend, Lloyd (James W. Quinn), then finally back to the seancing.  Is that a word?  If not, I’m making it one.

Anyway, he convinces Linda that since their systems are ‘pure,’ (as in no smoking and no drinking tonight) they start to use the board. Brandon is trying to reach his spirit guide, David.  He is the spirit of a 10-year old boy with a very nasty temper who can blow all four tires on your Cobra if he thinks you’re making fun of him.  The first of many jump-scares present in this movie, this one is very effective, except for the girly leap that Brandon gives when the noise startles them all.  Trust me, what this film lacks in content, it tries to make up for with jump-scares.  And lots of shots of Tawny in baby doll pajamas, rolling around in the king-sized waterbed.  Hey, it’s the 80’s.  Live it up.

In the fracas, Brandon forgets the Ouija board, and of course, Linda can’t resist it’s ability to highlight her manicure the next morning.  She asks it several questions, the big one being “Were the tests positive?” implying that she thinks she might be pregnant.  Ladies, Ouija boards are 100% accurate with these delicate matters, so don’t go wasting money on silly things like a pregnancy test or a doctor’s appointment, just consult the spirit world and everything will be just fine!  We learn that David doesn’t like Jim, and doesn’t want to come back as Linda’s baby because of it.  This is followed by the sad death of the most entertaining character in the movie, and the ruination of a perfectly good Sonny’s Bar-B-Q hat.  RIP, Lloyd, your screen time was much too short.  I have to say that am quite impressed at the speed of the police involvement in this movie; the homicide detective, Lt. Dewhurst (Burke Byrnes) is already questioning Jim, rhapsodising about Vegas magic acts, and inserting a red herring while at Lloyd’s funeral.

The middle of the movie can pretty much be summed up as this: Linda continues to use the board, scary things happen, she has a lot of morning sickness, Brandon thinks she’s possessed, and is trying to convince Jim.  We also get a little bit of the story behind the testosterone-fueled posturing between Jim and Brandon.  Not much, but enough of their pouting close-ups make it onto the screen for you to realize that they’re both huge weenies, and it wouldn’t be bad if a load of improperly secured sheetrock fell on them both.  I mean, these guys are pout MASTERS.

After Linda ends up so scared she visits the creepy landlady (Rose Marie of the Dick Van Dyke Show), he agrees to let Brandon bring in a punk-rock medium, Zarabeth (Kathleen Wilhoite).  I must give the directors credit; the effects for the time were pretty good, and the collapsing pyramid of Mountain Dew cans is impressive.  Brandon takes back his evil ouija, and takes Zarabeth home.  Zarabeth dies a few minutes later, which is sad; the movie could have used a little bit more of her “psychic humor.”  She does give us a clue as to who is doing the killing. I won’t say who, but I will say that the word is Portugese, and I’ve had too much cough syrup to even begin to get it right.  Also, her death scene is pretty good.  Note to self: don’t keep spiky lawn ornaments around.

After Zarabeth’s untimely death, Brandon discovers that he’s been duped; he was given a chalkboard with Linda’s grocery list instead of his ouija, so he decides to go on a fact-finding mission.  Jim witnesses Linda undergo a psychic attack during which she flings herself around like…well, I can’t really say what she flings herself around like, or the site will get letters, so I’ll say that it was graceless, and quite the opposite of the way she flung herself around in the Whitesnake videos.  She gets a concussion, and is admitted to the hospital, and Jim finds out that she’s really not pregnant, so all this morning sickness is ouija-induced after all.  That pesky cop comes around again, making more references to magicians and jugglers, and implying that Jim’s missing drywall hammer is responsible for another death.

Jim joins Brandon and they  motor off to Big Bear to verify David’s story,  to the place David supposedly met the Reaper, but not before stopping at an occult store for another ouija board, and do a seance on the pier.  Jim asks Brandon the same question I hoarsely screamed at my TV: Doesn’t the board have to be on your knees?  Not when it’s where the spirit supposedly died.  The camera does that thing where it takes on the POV of the evil spirit flying around, then some barrels come untied and knock our intrepid heroes down.  They’re okay, though, until Brandon takes an axe to the face.

Then we have a bizarre breakdown by the one person who has shown no emotions aside from anger and amusement.  Jim cradles  Brandon’s body, sobbing and screaming like a little girl. Once again, the cops are hot on his trail, but first he has to deal with Linda in drag, trying to kill him with an axe.  After escaping the hospital and being attacked by the shower, she’s now possessed by the evil Portugese mass-murderer ghost dude that lived in their house and has been running around killing the good characters! An intense fight scene, complete with him pulling punches because he doesn’t want to hurt her.  The cop busts in, but Linda quickly subdues him with a poker to the head, then tries to convince Jim to shoot himself because it turns out he’s the portal for the evil after all (SHOCKING TWIST ENDING!) but Jim shoots the ouija board instead, and the evil pushes Jim’s through the window, where he executes a graceful backwards gainer onto a white station wagon.

Yet another stupid, redemptive ending, they get married, but in the wreckage of the apartment, the landlady discovers the ouija board, full of bullet holes but none the worse for wear, the perfect setup for a sequel!  Of which there are two.  This one scores a 5 out of 10, for some decent jump scares, and the writer’s gumption to kill off a character who says, “Do you see ‘Spaz’ written on this man anywhere?”

Gratuitous hair flinging Ouija-fu, knife covered in ketchup amateur plumbing, evil spirit POV Falling Sheetrock, axe to the throat sundial skewering head rolls in dream sequence, throat grabbing barrels roll axe to the face strangulation and a poker to the head	1 BLOOD quart at best; Lloyd has some smeared around his face, there’s some excellent splatter action on the dock, and Zarabeth has some on her neck. 2 BEASTS Malfeitor and Jim when he doesn’t have a shirt on.  Yeesh. 2 BREASTS during the shower attack scene.  She covers them up quick, though, so keep your eyes open. 5.00 OVERALL

Check out the trailer for “Witchboard”

Comebacks usually aren’t a good thing. Just ask boxer, Sugar Ray Leonard, who stepped into the boxing ring after being retired for several years and got knocked out by Hector Macho Camacho before the first round ended. Well, for “legendary” director Robert Hiltz (How’d he get that title, anyway?) his return to the camera after being away for nearly 20 years is just as disastrous. Now, I’m not saying that the first three “Sleepaway Camp” films will ever earn a spot on the AFI (American Film Institute) 100 Best Movies of All Time, but the earlier movies, unlike this latest installment, were at least filled with funny dialogue, dark humor, cool death scenes, and plenty of hot chicks who never had a problem showing their goods.


“Return to Sleepaway Camp” (RTSC) is a direct sequel to the first “Sleepaway Camp” that ignores the two “Sleepaway Camp” installments in between (“SC 2: Unhappy Campers” and “SC 3: Teenage Wasteland”) much the same way that “Jason Goes to Hell” pretended that “Jason Takes Manhattan” didn’t exist. You know it always pisses me off when writers, directors, and movie studios pull this kind of crap with movie franchises. Just keep the series somewhat consistent and make a sequel that picks up where the last one left off. But believe it or not, this is the least of the movie’s problems. Anyway, let me get back to my review. So the “plot” for RTSC involves a “mysterious killer” who is offing campers and counselors in a variety of boring and uninspiring ways at yet another summer camp. Hiltzik tries to keep anyone left watching the movie guessing by having Angela, I mean the “mysterious killer”, wear a ridiculous disguise and use a voice decoder that sounds like a Speak ‘n’ Spell with dying batteries to conceal their real identity. But trust me, this isn’t “Clue’ Goes to Sleepaway Camp.” Felissa Rose, who played Angela in the original “Sleepaway Camp”, stars in this installment, so anyone with the intelligence level of an amoeba (sorry if I offended any amoebas out there) should know who’s doing the killing this time around. And while I’m on the subject of killing, “Sleepaway” films usually have memorable kills, right? Well not in this sequel. Thanks to some very bad directing and editing, everybody takes so freakin’ long to die. Any kind of suspense or “wow” factor from a death scene is ruined because the camera cuts back and forth to whatever object is getting ready to kill its next victim several times before a death actually occurs. It’s as if Hiltzik wanted to make sure he didn’t loose the audience. Wishful thinking on his part because hopefully anyone who made the mistake of renting this cinematic turd either turned it off before they wasted too much time, or got hammered after the film’s first death scene and passed out.

A few of the original cast members who survived the first “Sleepaway Camp” return for this sequel, but even they can’t salvage this horrible movie because it’s twenty years later, and they still can’t act. Felissa Rose, Jonathan Tiersten, and Paul DeAngelo really should have taken at least a couple of warm-up acting gigs like commercials before signing on to do this movie. Their performances are so bad it makes the acting in “Troll 2″ seem Shakespearean in comparison. If any of them want to show up for the next sequel they should avoid further embarrassment and just make cameos as newspaper clippings or framed photographs, like Sean Connery did in “Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls.” The movie still had one last chance to redeem itself with a cool finale, but unfortunately what we get is a predictably lame “reveal” ending that is another huge disappointment in a movie full of disappointments, especially when compared to the gender-bender-ender of the original “Sleepaway Camp.”

For a film that was delayed more times than a Britney Spears comeback, this film sure did feel rushed and thrown-together. I read a whole laundry list of “reasons” why the film’s release date kept getting pushed back. First it was Hiltzik wanted to get the effects just right. Then re-shoots were needed. Next it was that there were problems with the CGI again, etc. Well I’ve seen the movie, and the visual effects really don’t look that bad. Movies of the Week shown on the Sy-Fy Channel have worst CGI in them. After watching the movie for about 2 mins. I found out the real reason for all of the delays, and it’s that the movie sucks, plain and simple. There’s just no other way to put it. Instead of worrying about the quality of the visual effects and whatever else, Hiltzik’s priority should’ve been to make a movie that was actually watchable.

I was really hoping that poor DVD sales for RTSC would close this camp for good. But I’ve recently read that Hiltzik unfortunately has another 3-D “Sleepaway” sequel in production, which is a real shame because it probably means that Michael Simpson who did “SC: 2″ and “SC: 3″ won’t get the opportunity to do his supernatural sequel called “Sleepaway Camp: Berserk” any time soon, or possibly ever. His idea sounds like it would be a fun movie to me. Click here for the movie’s brief plot synopsis.

If you want to visit a camp this summer, don’t return to Sleepaway Camp and go to Crystal Lake instead.

Gratuitous use of the line “Your a$$ stinks.” Fart-lighting 101 Killer wears a ridiculous disguise in between murders Death by bed of nails Wooden stake to the eye Issac Hayes as Charlie The Chef 1 Human Roman Candle 1 Super-lame ending	1 BLOOD About a gallon of the red stuff 2 BEASTS A gender-confused killer and a bully. 0 BREASTS None but there were plenty of nicely wrapped melons 1.25 OVERALL

Check out the trailer for “Return to Sleepaway Camp”

Angelique (www.twitter.com/Laughing_Bones)

“I’ve been a horror fan since my mom went to see Cujo in the theaters while pregnant with me.  That set the stage for my love of the good, the bad, and the downright ugly, and I’ve seen some of the worst and best horror movies out there, and since I was old enough, I would hold movie marathons and make my friends watch them as well.  I  When I’m not writing about horror, I blog (http://theculinaryadventuresofdangergirl.com.blogspot.com/) about whatever comes to mind.  Otherwise, you can find me in and about the wilderness of East Tennessee, preparing for the inevitable revolution/zombie apocalypse.”

Lost Highway Welcomes Angelique to the our little roadside detour of b-movie cool and without further ado…whatever ado means…here’s her review of Poltergiest 3: Why didn’t it stop at 1.

Let me start by saying that if Carol Anne was my daughter, I’d drive her out to the middle of nowhere, leave her, and hope for the best.

OH WAIT!  That’s just what her lovely parents did in Poltergeist III, only they replaced “middle of nowhere” with “Chicago” and “hope for the best” with “foist her on your sister, her husband, and his daughter, because we can’t take it anymore.”

Following the events of Poltergeist and Poltergeist II, the story opens with Carol Anne (Heather O’Rourke) in a posh high-rise penthouse in the heart of Chicago, living with her aunt, her uncle, and step-cousin.  She is obviously a burden on the family, but they all try to put on happy faces as she sits around and plays with that damn Speak-n-Spell all the time.  I swear, when she’s not dealing with the threat of ghosts, the kid does nothing else!  I lost interest in mine when I realized it wouldn’t “say” curse words, but she can’t get enough of it!  Well, I suppose this is what happens when televisions, clown dolls, and toy phones are off-limits to little girls who attract evil spirits from the other side.  Ahem, back to the story.  This is only the beginning, for there is danger afoot, and strange things begin happening with gusto, which everyone promptly ignores.

Carol Anne has the dubious honor of being enrolled in a special school for gifted children, lorded over by the insidious Dr. Satan-er, Seaton, rather.  Seaton.  Dr. Seaton (Richard Fire), who likes to impress other psychiatrists with his acumen and impeccable goatee, makes Carole Anne out to be some Mesmer-esque master of minds, has inadvertently awakened the ghost of that crazy Reverend Kane (Nathan Davis, and an assortment of rubber masks), who will stop at nothing to get Carol Anne to lead them into the light.

This, of course, has alerted Tangina (Zelda Rubenstein), who gets on a plane immediately to help her, because Dr. Seaton is an asshole.

Bruce (Tom Skerritt) and Pat (Nancy Allen) have fights over Carol Anne between dealing with the various technical problems the building is going through; he likes her there, she wants her gone, and resents her sister for foisting her crazy child off onto them during a most stressful time in their yuppie lives.  If it weren’t for all the ghosts and such, this could have been a movie of the week about the benefits of acceptance and family change.  It’s not, but the writers certainly didn’t realize that.

Donna (Lara Flynn Boyle) is miffed because she has to watch Carol Anne and her red footie pajamas all night, but Carol Anne uses her mental might to convince Donna to go ahead to the party, she’s just gonna be sitting around, you know, playing with her speak and spell, maybe slipping into the liquor cabinet…wait, that didn’t happen.  I wish it did, for it would have given her a little more character depth.  Donna applies too much eyeliner, and Carol Anne leans into the bathroom door to give her some makeup tips.  Then, there’s a knock at the mysteriously closed bathroom door, and she opens it to see…CAROL ANNE!  What just happened?  Never mind, she has a party to attend.  After arriving at the party with her collar popped and deeming it dullsville, she uses a handy set of master keys to break into the pool and throw a better party.  She and her afro-sporting boyfriend Scott (Kip Wentz) sneak off to rob the grocery store of their cheese-doodles and Coors Light while upstairs, Carol Ann has run into some trouble.

Kane begins to torment Carol Ann in the apartment, and I can’t say that the special effects were all that ’special,’ because 90% of them are done with dry ice fog and flashing lights, but they’re scary enough for Carol Anne, and she runs away.  She’s seen on camera by Donna and Scott, who were trying to make out in the security room holding armloads of groceries, and they follow her to the parking garage.

Let me warn you right now: throughout the rest of the movie, you will hear the name “Carol Ann” about EIGHTEEN MILLION TIMES.v

She goofs around, running backwards until she steps into a puddle.  WATCH OUT, IT’S A REFLECTIVE SURFACE!  Oops, too late; zombie hands jerk her down, Donna and Scott arrive just in time to provide a not quite convincing rescue attempt, and they all get pulled into the puddle.

From this point on, things get a little flaky.  Scott reappears and is crazy, screaming about Donna.  Dr. Seaton comes to the building and tries to analyze him.  Tangina comes in and rubs her necklace some more.  She spouts some exposition about love and how it’ll set the girls free or something, (I don’t know, I quit listening for a minute), until she started talking about the evil beyond the bedroom door.  I thought for sure she was talking about the Speak-N-Spell, but no, she meant Kane, and the mirrors.  She and Dr. Seaton face-off, then something spooky happens and the evil reaches out and deep-fries Tangina.  We immediately have an excellent Lara Flynn Boyle freak-out as she climbs out of the still-steaming corpse of our favorite magical midget.  Arguably the best part of the movie, second only to when she pushes Dr. Seaton down the elevator shaft after he goes chasing after the reflection of Carol Anne.  Come to find out, that’s not really Donna or Scott, but doppelgangers who like to make out sloppily, then rip each others faces off.

The last half of the movie is spent following Bruce and Pat around, watching them get locked into large freezers, fighting undead livestock, almost drowning, snatching necklaces from an apparition of Tangina, being teleported into frozen, snowy parking garages and being chased by possessed cars. I’m not sure what mirrors and ice have in common, but for some reason they go together like peanut butter and jelly in this flick.  Are they playing up the idea that ghosts suck the heat out of the environment for energy?  It isn’t ever explained, aside from the light being cold.

During the final showdown in Carol Anne’s foggy room, Carol Anne shows up and spouts some angsty mess about how nobody loves her or wants her but Kane, but it’s a ruse to get the magical necklace from Pat.  She disappears,  then Pat gets strangled by her own reflection, pimp-slapped by Kane, sees the whole family lying around dead, and freaks out.  Tangina appears yet again, spouting more about this love thing, and how it’ll save everyone, and how she can end this whole thing by leading him into the light, and could have done it all along.  SHOULDN’T SHE HAVE DONE THAT TWO FLIPPING MOVIES AGO??  Why’d she leave this poor girl to be tormented?  Question for the ages, I suppose.

If there’s one thing I hate, its when horror movies try to have some kind of redeeming value.  I wanna be scared, not actually learn anything (except for maybe a few new ways that I could potentially die or enter an alternate dimension).

Gratuitous One-way mirrors Disembodied hand coffee-mug flinging Elevator shaft Swan Dive Undead livestock Chicken-fried psychic Corpse burrowing Face peeling Necklace rubbing Decapitation by shovel Face peeling Head melting	0 BLOOD They flash-fried Tangina 4 BEASTS I’m including the Speak-N-Spell here, you guess the rest of ‘em! 0 BREASTS Lara Flynn Boyle doesn’t have much more than mosqito bites anyway 3.0 OVERAL When the scariest thing in the movie is a Speak-n-Spell, it’s the best you can do.

Check out the trailer for “Poltergiest 3″

What is up with all these pointless scientific studies lately. Scientists are getting millions of dollars to study the mating habits of woodchucks or the effects of injecting adrenaline into a pack of spider monkeys? I’d like to know how much wood a woodchuck could chuck too, but shouldn’t they be spending their time on more beneficial things like…oh…I don’t know..curing cancer or working on that whole global warming thing? Maybe I just don’t get it. I don’t truly understand the importance of measuring the distance and pressure involved in a penguin dropping or why woodpeckers don’t get headaches. Why the sky is blue? Why do fools fall in love? These studies make our world a safer and better place. So the government keeps racking up bigger credit debt but I say let’s take some of that money first and give it too somebody that really can do beneficial things with it. Someone that understands planning and fiscal responsibility. Yes namely me! Send me my million dollar grant in the mail soon Mr. Big Government spenders so I can finally buy my hovercraft, raise my army of DNA mind controlled dinosaurs, and  rule the world! bwahahah….or my parent’s basement… whichever comes first.

Speaking of poorly planned science projects, Dr. Paul Armstrong (Larry Blamire) has taken his very housewively wife, Betty (Fay Masterson) to the woods in search of a meteorite so that he can conduct some  “science” on it. Apparently, this was during a time when science didn’t really need to have any reason or specific purpose. Paul suspects it contains Atmospherium and much like the hair gel on John Stamos hair could reveal many dark secrets of the known universe. At around this same time a big burly fellow, Dr. Roger Flemming is out exploring the wilderness and cohorting with free range forest rangers at least when he’s not caught inner dialoging. Not sure what he’s a doctor of… flannel shirts perhaps, but he desperately needs Atmospherium so that he can resurrect a bleach white lab skeleton in a hidden cave. It’s like Kate Moss got lost on a camping trip. Roger believes the skeleton once resurrected will  help him rule the world… or maybe win the lotto and finally meet some girls.

Meanwhile, an alien spaceship from the planet Marva crash lands nearby and it’s silver jump suited space pilots, Crowbar and Lattice (named after a Home Depot sales ad) accidentally lose their pet mutant. Of course their cardboard ship also requires Atmospherium to fly so they also need to get the meteorite.

Paul and Betty using a battery volt meter find the small meteorite glowing like a passed out Tinker Bell in the grass and  takes it back to his mail order science lab at the cabin. Learning of this, Crowbar and Lattice use a modified corking gun to turn themselves into awkward 50’s fashion models so they can fool Betty and Paul or as they refer to them as “the pleasant entertaining monkeys.” Lattice enjoys her new inverted cloth funnels the humans call “a dress” and with Crowbar solve the mysteries of door handles.  Dr. Flemming  finds the left behind space gun and transmogrifies some woodland creatures into his date to take to the cabin (not legal in most states except Alabama and Utah.) He hopes bringing a date will make him less suspicious  but his new creation, Animala has all the dinner table manners of a Jack Russell Terrier in a beatnik bodysuit. She sniffs people, eats from a a dinner plate like it’s a pig trough, and picks gnats off of the guests for some neighborly grooming. Sounds like the perfect date to me. A door to door forest ranger also shows up with warnings of killer mutants. With all the plate licking and mutilation stories how will Paul ever get to do science?

Soon the Skeleton, fresh from a nap uses his super Aquaman-like powers to control Animala and help deliver him the meteorite thus giving the skeleton the ability to sit up and boss people around like a skinny union rep. Behold the mighty power of the fleshless! He demands that Lattice become his skeletal bride so they can make little thigh bones and femurs of their very own. Just then thee escaped mutant looking a bit like a deranged Muppet shows up and battles Skeletor to the death. He-man would be proud.

This could be the funniest spoof of vintage 50’s b-movies ever made with some obvious nods to “Plan 9 from Outerspace” and “Attack of the killer Shrews.” It  perfectly recreates the low budget feel and wooden acting from that golden era of schlocky cinema so check it out and be sure to keep a extra case of Atmoshperium in your cooler, just in case. I hear it’s worth a fortune.

Skeleton rock climbing Laser caulking guns Farmer mutilation Sciencing White people dancing Mutant wrestling Skeleteon-fu Dinner etiquette	0 BLOOD None and it’s black and white so you couldn’t tell anyways. 8 BEASTS A skeleton, a mutant, and Animala. 1 BREASTS Nothing but a slinky outfit from Animala. 9.15 OVERALL

Check out the trailer for “The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra”

A very big thank you to Brooke Lewis who took time out of her insanely busy schedule to do an interview with us. Also, we’d like to take this opportunity to congratulate Brooke for being awarded Best Scream Queen of 2009 by the B-movie Golden Cob 2010 Awards. Hope you enjoy her interview below.

LH: What is your best horror movie experience/memory?

BL: Creating MS. VAMPY and VAMP IT OUT from deep within my heart and soul; Working opposite “CANDYMAN” (Tony Todd) in iMURDERS and last, but not least, winning the B MOVIE GOLDEN COB AWARDS 2010 for BEST SCREAM of 2009 for SLIME CITY MASSACRE!!!

LH: How do you feel about the “horror” remakes that are being made today?

BL: I am soooo over it! 9 times out of 10, the remake can’t touch the original! But, that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t act in one…ya hear that, Rob Zombie???

LH: In your opinion, what elements make for a great horror film?

BL: A smart script; a story that sends chills down your spine; strong roles for women!

LH: Have your friends/family been supportive of your career as an actress and model?

BL: Beyond belief…I don’t know how they put up with me! My family and friends have supported me through all the “ups and downs” in this crazy business and I am forever grateful!

LH: When you’re not producing movies, acting or doing photo shoots, what hobbies do you like to do in your spare time?

BL: I’m sorry…spare time? What the hell is that??? I’m not even kidding, but on that rare occasion when I take a break, I watch horror films; TWILIGHT; TRUE BLOOD; AMERICAN IDOL; Do charity work; Listen to 80s music; Wine tasting; Astrology; Anything romantic; I love kissing…

LH: What is your favorite movie soundtrack?

BL: FAME; GOODFELLAS; RENT

LH: In a blind taste test, could you tell the difference between a Geno’s and a Pat’s Philly cheese steak?

BL: Absofreakinlutely! When you grow up in Philly or Jersey, it becomes a skill. After going to clubs or parties, we always ended up at Geno’s or Pat’s Steaks after hours…that’s how I got my big booty

LH: As an actress/artist which medium do you prefer: theatre, TV, or movies?

BL: I’ve done it all and I prefer TV…we shoot, it airs a month later and the paycheck and residuals are sweeeet!

LH: What does the future hold for Philly Chick Pictures?

BL: Philly Chick Pictures has a bloody bright future! I am proud to announce that we are in the development stage of creating a feature film for Ms. Vampy. I am blessed to have a co-production deal with Illusion Industries, in which I will star and produce, Todd Tucker will direct, Jim Pacitti will star and produce and Tamar Halpern, Todd, Jim and I have written based on my original story. The feature is a Halloween Family Comedy titled VAMP IT OUT and will be in the vain of THE NANNY meets ELVIRA meets HOUSE BUNNY. I am following my heart and soul with this piece and my goal is to inspire teenage girls and women to embrace their inner beauty, follow their dreams and when faced with fear, dig deep inside, find their inner vamp and VAMP IT OUT!!!

LH: Do you have any desire to return to the stage/theatre?

BL: Not at this time. I started in theatre and toured and did Off-Broadway shows for years in New York and after performing in TONY N’ TINA’S WEDDING Off-Broadway for almost 3 years, 7 shows a week, I burned out a bit. I choose projects that feel right to my soul and, at this time, it doesn’t feel right. When it does again, one day, and my soul is screaming for the stage, I will be there with a big smile!

LH: How did you become involved with the sequel to “Slime City”, “Slime City Massacre?”

BL: SLIME CITY MASSACRE is a gem of a lil indie horror/scifi/action flick! Greg Lamberson, the writer/director/producer, put his life into this project! He contacted me directly, after Wil Keiper recommended me, as both an actress and producer. Everyone pulled together to create something wonderful and artistic with a very low budget. For all the original SLIME CITY fans, Greg really stepped it up with the sequel! I play Nicole, a prostitute in the 1959 flashback scenes. I really enjoyed preparing for this character and I hope horror fans enjoy my work in this one. This was a project I chose solely based on the script, my role and Greg’s passion to make the film and it turned out to be quite a gift. I am forever grateful to Greg and the cast and crew of SLIME CITY MASSACRE, as I won the B MOVIE GOLDEN COB AWARD!

LH: Tell us one thing that your fans don’t know about you.

BL: I am rarely alone, but I am often lonely…

LH: What do you think was the best B-movie/horror film from 2009?

Released in 2009: iMURDERS; Filmed in 2009: SLIME CITY MASSACRE…DUH!

Thank you to LOST HIGHWAY and your readers…here’s to a horrific year! Love & Horror, XO Brooke Lewis

If you haven’t already, check out Brooke’s Highway Hotties page.