posted by admin | December 25, 2006 | B-movie Reviews
Comments Off on Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
” Santa says pull my finger.”
Prepare yourself for a mind-numbing knock down brawl of a Christmas and all without the need of gin and egg nog. The leaders of Mars (Martians because they wear green paint on their face) are concerned that all the children on their planet are depressed and watching far too much Earth TV. Instead of the obvious Ritalin prescriptions, they consult a creepy wise man who lives in some nearby caves. The old guy who looks and sounds like a 80 year old Screech from Saved By the Bell tells them their planet is in need of the large bearded fat man who only works once a year known as Santa Claus. The Martians attempt to kidnap the jolly old elf who probably laughs more than any typical drunk santa at a roadhouse bar should. After a foiled attempt to blast Santa and his two innocent children bystanders into the cold confines of space, they decide to enslave him on Mars and create automated machines that turn out toys faster than a sweat shop in China. Will Santa escape? Will the children get their toys? Will the evil Martian’s plans be stopped? Did you even read the title of the movie?…
Look for the goofy Martian named Dropo whose brain power is barely enough to warm toast. Also look for a man dressed in a polar bear suit. You’ll swear you’re hallucinating. Just try to get the jolly song of “Hooray for Santa Claus” out of your head. This little jewel can be crowned the worse Christmas movie ever. It is my gift you. Have yourself a very Swayze Christmas.
rated 1.9 out of 10 for the movie
learn more about this movie at imbd.com
The righteous Reverend Chumley has posted this entire movie on his video podcast for you to watch at his fantastic free b-movie podcast called the Cult of UHF. Watch Santa Claus Conquers the Martians online for FREE.