Flash Gordon

“sound the battle cry…Gooble-Gooble!


In the great tradition of Highlander and Waynes World, the movie Flash Gordon utilizes the 80’s classsic rock icons of queen for a memorable movie soundtrack. As for the rest of the movie’s quality well that’s a different story.

Flash Gordon, a quarterback from the New York Jets, is put in the unlikely situation of having to try to save the world from the evil clutches of an alien overlord name Ming. With only enough brain power to warm toast and a uncanny skill in bad one-liners, Flash goes to Ming’s home planet accidentally with the help of an equally dimwitted newsreporter. Also along for the trip is a scientist who happens to have a few screws loose. Their first meeting with Ming doesn’t go well since Flash calls him a “Psycho” right off the bat and then senselessly beats an innocent sensor droid (R2D2 your days are numbered.) Flash escapes his death sentence thanks to the help of the princess who wants to use Flash for some extra curricular activity of her own. She’s some sort of bored rich physcho/nympho who likes earthling football stars like a crazed Beverly Hills cheerleader.

Flash employees the help of some woodsmen led by Timothy “I was the worse James Bond ever” Dalton and some flying hawk-people who look more like turkey parade rejects to battle Ming and save his girlfriend from marrying him. Through all the battles and carnage and laser beams Flash never gets hit and his hair always stays perfect. Maybe that was his superpower “amazo hair of fortitude.” I’d tell you how it ends but I’m sure you can figure out that Flash saves the day and rides off into the sunset on his jet ski to the rocking tunes of Queen on his radio. Lots of shiny bad costumes, lots of horrible dialog but a heck of a lot of fun. I say check it out. Watch movies online


Keep an eye out for…

– midget alien cleaned funeral parlors. They leave the fresh scent of pine
– psychedelic space warps
– a killer game of bonk the gopher except in this one the gopher wins and you die
– the only super hero with his own self-promotional t-shirt
– jet ski recreational space vehicles (whether on a lake or in space they’re still annoying)
– overdressed mardi-gras parade rejects
– Robinhood and his merry men of thieves
– impronto football scrimmages in space
– inneffective mind control devices that can be overcome with thoughts of Beatles songs

Lesson I learned from this movie. don’t stick your arm in an old tree stump.

rated 9.1 out of 10 for the movie
learn more about this movie at imbd.com

Check out the trailer for Flash Gordon.