Deepstar Six

“Dead Lobster, For the sea food killer in you”

I think the most prevalent signs of the apocalypse happened back in the 80’s. Reganomics, the band Wham!, and the sudden occurrence of a multitude of underwater monster movies including the Abyss, Leviathan, and this seafood disaster called DeepStar Six.

Greg Evigan plays “no first name” McBride, a scraggly lumber jack navy pilot waiting to get out from deep sea duty to return topside for some well deserved McRest. Yes the same Greg Evigan from the horrifying tv show “My Two Dads.” I believe that show was canceled right after “Alf” thankfully.

McBride is a part of a group of underwater military rejects including a Amish looking porn peddler, a Russian scientist cranked up on Red Bulls, and resident scientist babe Nia Peebles who appears to have stumbled onto the wrong movie set by accident.

The story revolves around a poorly planned deep sea missile base the underwater team is supposed to setup on the sea floor but discover an ancient cavern instead. In the tradition of other film’s underwater caverns you always get a malevolent mutant sea creature thrown in for free. So get your bibs and shell hammers ready because there’s not enough butter to stop this lobster mutant.

The crazy crustacean attacks submarines, swims faster than a missile and infiltrates the DeepStar Six base via chomping on canned spam victims and a quick snack of Ms. fruity Peebles. The remaining survivors, which unfortunately includes Mr. Evigan, load up on their stock piles of shotguns and co2 tipped spears to take on Mr. Crabs now blocking their way to freedom.

A lot of the characters are cheaply killed off through a series of accidents mostly due to a weasely character named Snyder who trips into people with co2 canister tipped spears and accidentally detonates nearby nuclear bombs. Snyder freaks out and tries to get to the surface in an emergency escape pod before he should properly decompress….
pop goes the weasel.

The remaining survivors must battle the monster while figuring out a way to escape to the surface before the base has it’s own nuclear meltdown or they run out of air. Can the movie budget handle all of this?

This film wasn’t as great as I remember when I saw it in my local theater as a teenager. With very little plot and gallons of of water, it’s directed by the same guy that brought us Friday the 13th so I had hopes that a hockey masked scuba diver would arrive on a submarine and clean house. That would have made the movie more interesting and maybe now I wouldn’t have such a craving for buttery lobster. I say check it out and order a side of shrimp.

Keep an eye out for…
– underwater door crushing
– scuba diver chomping
– 2 accidental underwater nuclear explosions
– death by jiffy-pop de-compression
– emergency CPR (Crustacean Pulminary Resuscitation)
– pool party strobe lights
– lobster harpooning
– explosive c02 spear to the chest

“This movie defines deep sea doodie”

rated 6.7 out of 10 for the movie

Learn more about this movie at imbd.com

Check out this riveting clip from DeepStar Six. Snyder’s response at the end is priceless.