Comments Off on Killer Klowns from Outer Space
“Have you ever given thought to learning more about the church of clownology. Cotton candy is the way to enlightenment.”
I’ve wondered what marketing genius decided to combine the dining experience of eating hamburgers with the theme of clowns. Apparently back in the 50’s some marketing executives were sitting around a table smoking some weed and decided “You know what we need to get people to eat our hamburgers, a giant creepy clown in a yellow jump suit” And so McDonald’s was born. A looming ghost faced lunatic who lures children with the promise of cheap plastic toys and obesity in every bag. Nothing says family dining like fast food and circus themes. But why stop at the clown, wheres the trapeze in the kids play area? Where’s the hamburger cannon that shoots the wrapped food to your table? Oh well I’m sure it’s just a matter of time before the McDonald’s marketing guys give that a try.
In Killer Klowns from Outer Space alien mutant clowns want us for their own fast food meals. When a 80’s couple at the local makeout spot are solicited to buy waffle cones and push-up treats by some local goobers in an ice cream truck they suddenly spot a falling comet over the treetops. Instead of taking the apparent river rafting adventure from their inflated life raft they were lying on in the back of their station wagon, they head out into the woods to investigate the comet crash. Surprisingly they come across a glowing giant circus tent inhabited by deformed clowns (hence the title…otherwise it would be “Teens Discover Nothing in Woods and Leave.” What possess people to investigate things that fall from the sky? Always remember when a comet crashes in the nearby woods you run the other way!
The clowns starting attacking the local town folks through elaborate puppet shows and pizza delivery scams shooting them with FisherPrice ray guns that turn them into giant balls of cotton candy goodness. They store the cotton-candified corpses on their spaceship tent for late night snacks. The cops are no help as the chief of police would rather complain to himself about teenage hooligans and eat doughnuts by the box full. He eventually ends up a hollowed out ventriloquist dummy which wasn’t much of a character switch for him. Popcorn attack guns, invisible cars and acid pie fights are just some of the weapons at the clown’s disposal but they could have just given away free tickets to the circus and made it a lot less work. Luckily Sargent Biff McChunk-Head figures out the plans of the evil clowns when his ex-girlfriend is kidnapped and turned into a giant beach ball. So he and his band of surviving dimwitted buddies infiltrate the evil circus strong hold at the local fairgrounds in their ice cream trunk to face off against clown hookers and giant mutant bozo impersonators. Yeah it’s that weird.
A fun goofy b-movie that doesn’t try to take itself too seriously. They have a hunting dog made out of a animal balloons and popcorn that turns into bobble headed clown demons so you can’t help but laugh.
Keep an eye out for…
– popcorn kung-fu
– wholesale size cotton candy
– cop ventriloquist acts
– shadow puppets shows
– redneck comet crash site investigators
– exploding ice cream trucks
– tracker balloon dogs
– kleptomaniacs clowns in drugs stores
– street cleaning parades
– acid pies to the face
– inflato-breast clown hookers
– bad 80’s sweaters
“Ronald, Krusty, Bozo… ye all ain’t got nothing on these Klown gangstas! If they did a drive-by they could fit 20 of their peeps in their pimped ride and put a cap in your chest.”
rated 8.1 out of 10 for the movie
Check out the trailer for Killer Klowns from Outer Space