Day of the Dead

“What zombie doesn’t enjoy rockin’ out to the Grateful Dead?

We’ve had a ongoing debate at work “Where would you go in the event of a zombie outbreak?” I know I know…a common office emergency scenario and a prevalent question in the political debates. But one that still must be answered. Hilary Clinton already faced that situation in Kosovo to which she claimed she grabbed a soldier’s machine gun and laid waste to hundreds of zombified villagers before the infection could spread and I’m not entirely convinced that John McCain isn’t already one of the living dead. Some people think the mall is a good choice, or a prison, or their local bomb shelter. All logical answers but not the best so when the undead overtake our small city I’m heading to Sam’s Club. It’s the perfect fortified structure with some gas tanks in front to load up fuel, very few entrances, not many if any windows, and a life time supply of the largest bulk food items you’ve ever seen. It’s like an Aztec temple of storage boxes and food samples. The only downside is they don’t carry ammo there but generally wherever you find a Sam’s there’s usually a nearby gun shop so you can stop on the way to load up your favorite semi automatic deer shredding hunting rifle. Sam’s club puts the huge in huge-mugnous. You could restart and entire civilization in one of those places or fill it with water and recreate naval battles. Of course zombies love to shop so you’ll most likely have to be clearing house for a while but after that initial carnage you can become the self proclaimed king of wholesale. Sitting on top of your giant throne of 10 gallon jars of mayonnaise and 45 pound bags of cereal. Former Walmart workers happy to serve you since they would still get better treatment under your dystopian dictatorship than their current corporate managers.

In Day of the Dead some survivors choice to try to wait out the zombie apocalypse in an Floridian underground storage facility instead of their nearby Sam’s location. I think that’s where they store Walt Disney’s head on a slab of ice. Lori Cardille plays Sarah, a scientist trying to figure out what caused the zombie outbreak and how to stop it along with her medical associate, a crazy scientist called Dr. Frankenstein who enjoys cutting up the undead to play full size versions of the game “Operations.” After a failed helicopter search for survivors on the surface the crew returns to the claustrophobic caves. It was obviously hard to tell the difference between a zombie with all those wrinkly old Floridians playing shuffle board when flying over them. A small band of misfit military are also stuck with the scientist in the caverns/storage facility as they try to find a cure or ways to domesticate the zombies. Dr. Frankenstein is working on trying to train one zombie in particular he affectionately refers to Bud (taste great, less filling) to do things like brush his teeth, shoot a gun, and not gnaw your face off, much for the same reasons we train monkeys. The military are herding the zombies in the caverns like rotting cattle for the doctor to continue his experiments on but they are growing more restless, more crazy, and more facial hair. Soon they’re starting to question if they should get out of Dodge and leave the doc and his friends to fend for themselves.

The Jamaican helicopter pilot and his alcohol liver soaked partner live further in the caverns in a makeshift trailer park including standard issued Hawaiian lua decor. The only thing missing are the mullets and iron maiden cut-off shirts. Sarah befriends them and the pilot gives a sermon from a lounge chair on how ticked off God is and how it would be best to go to an island and do some fly fishing. Things get worse as Sarah’s now former one armed boyfriend who was already a bit crazy goes certifiable nut job taking himself up the elevator as a sacrifice and letting the zombie gates open. Soon hundreds of zombies are filling the caves ripping army guys apart like old gi-joe dolls given to hyperactive 3 year olds. Sarah and her buddies attempt an escape deep into the caverns with a two by four and a shovel for protection. Good picks for weapons, no reloading.

The main star here is Bub played by Sherman Howard. Bub is the most sympathetic character in the whole film. You just want to take him for a pet. He’s kinda like Lassie the dog except an insatiable hunger for human flesh and the ability to shave but wouldn’t that have made Lassie a more interesting show anyways? Bub exacts his revenge on the military meat heads but instead of using his teeth he uses a magnum and a pretty decent aim as a zombified marine. Meanwhile the surviving military run around screaming like chipmunks while Jane and company flee to the surface to escape in the helicopter now surrounded by zombies looking to hitch a ride. While not as strong a movie as his first films, George Romero was still on his game with this 3rd bleak entry in his zombie series. Far superior to his more recent disasters of Land of the Dead and Diary of the dull..errr I mean Dead. To which I say if your named George and if you haven’t made a movie in 30 years just stop and put the megaphone down. Slowly step away from the camera. Nobody needs to get hurt. And this means you too George “Jar Jar must die” Lucas! As with Romero’s earlier zombie films there’s the heavy social commentary under-current on how we are own worst enemies who can’t co-operate in the face of a disaster..blah blah blah..yeah I know I’ve seen it every year on Black Friday at the mall, just bring on the zombie carnage. It really is an interesting comment on the times of Regan ‘s military machine tactics and our own paranoia so definitely check it out and always remember to groom your zombie properly before feeding and keep your firearms hidden. Remember that guns don’t kill people…zombies with guns kill people.
Keep an eye out for….

– shaving cuts
– hand climbing walls
– bad Jamaican accents
– zombie herding
– cave trailer parks
– head shoveling
– impromptu amputations
– extreme gut rippin’
– severed heads jump starting.
– clown zombies
– zombie-vators
– golf cart hit and runs

I wonder if zombies ever stop to think about all the trans fats and salt they’re getting from eating us Americans. We should be wearing t-shirts with nutritional labels printed on them.


rated 9.1 out of 10 for the movie

Watch the whole dang movie on YouTube!!! (part 1 of 10)….. piracy police start your engines.