Happy Thanksgiving from Lost Highway. In honor of a day of massive turkey consumption we thought it would be appropriate to bring you our favorite movie turkeys of all times. This is the cream of the crap, the best of the worse. If you think you’ve scraped the bottom of the barrel then just lift up that barrel and you’ll find this cinematic cheese. Just remember, we warned you first.

The RoomWhen I think back on history to the most horrifying events, things like the Hidenburg come to mind, wars, pestilence, natural disasters, famines. All that pain and despair can’t compare to experiencing a film called “The Room.” Being exposed to it is like catching a communicable disease. One that you’ll feel compelled to spread it to others to ease your pain.The movie practically transports you into another dimension where awful acting is the norm, where actors appear magically from off screen, where football is played at arms length, and bizarre short Frenchmen in greasy hair spout wisdoms like “Everybody betrayed me! I fed up with this world!” or “Liissa you teearin me apppart!”

The story revolves around Johnny played convincingly by Tommy Wisseau, a man in love who is betrayed, then is in love, then betrayed again but is constantly in a state of surprise “Oh hi Mark”, “Oh hi Danny”, “Oh hi doggy”, “Oh hi chair.”

Lisa who resembles a bloated Britney Spears makes the moves on Johnny’s best dimwitted friend Mark and they end up having an akward torrid affair. Most of the film is spent dealing with those two hiding their little secret from Johnny and occasionally getting interrupted by a creepy kid named Danny with a drug problem or Lisa’s nosey mother who drops in to complain about her annoying cancer. Other characters in tuxedo’s show up randomly…say stuff..play football…then leave..oh and there’s softcore porn and discussions about cake. There that sums up the movie.

Either the director/actor Tommy Wisseau is certifiably mad or is a complete genius in making this film. If so, he would make Ed Wood humbled by his movie making ability. I know it sounds like I’m bashing this film but it is highly entertaining in how hilariously bad it is. It’s pure shock and awe awful, like being hit with a sledge hammer to the stomach while driving 90 mph on the freeway. It’s sure gonna leave a mark….on your soul.

“Oh hi Mark!”

Check out this amazing clip from “The Room”, the Citizen Kaine of awful.