Comments Off on “War of the Worlds” Rest Stop Edition
Just when I thought aliens with anger management issues had grown tired of attacking planet earth, guess what, it happens yet again. This time the trouble starts when rift raft, calling themselves Martians visit a small town and start mingling with the locals. The townies aren’t very amused when the outsiders use heat lamps on steroids to vaporize their kin folk. And who could blame them? Now, I’m pretty sure things would have turned out better if the aliens had showed up with a giant lemon creme bunt cake instead of with their ray guns a blastin’. And before you can say “Hooah”, the Army has gotten word of the invasion. They quickly arrive with a butt-load of weapons and setup shop. The plan they come up with is to use enough firepower to blow the evil E.T.’s all the way back to their home planet, and worrying about asking questions later. Typical military mentality, isn’t it? But their bone-headed plan fails about as bad as the movie “Zyzzyx Road” did at the box office (it just made $30, really) when the aliens take everything that the army shoots and drops on them, including an A-bomb without even breaking a sweat. Now, I have one question, do alien’s even sweat? It’s just a curiosity thing. Anyway, as soon as the dust settles the aliens go cruisin’ down main street, showing off their shiny new rides but instead of visiting the local watering hole and boozing it up or scoring with some hot earth women, they begin blasting everything in sight to smithereens with their niffty looking shower head shaped death rays.
Then something very strange happens, the Martian Warships begin crashing into stuff like Tiger Woods trying to drive away from his golf club yielding wife. At first I was as confused as Jessica Simpson would be trying to spell the word “cat” during a spelling bee, at what was happening onscreen. But, thankfully, I got the 411 from the narrator in the movie who explained that the aliens were dying, and it wasn’t because they got a wiff of P. Diddy’s breath either. Nope, it turns out some harmless earth germs were the culprit. Well, it serves those alien freaks right for not getting their booster shots before invading our planet. So much for other intelligent lifeforms, huh? If you haven’t seen this old school sci-fi flick already, be sure to give it a look-see. It features an out of this world soundtrack by composer Leith Stevens, some really cool spaceship designs, sound effects, along with plenty of impressive looking hand-crafted sets and visual effects in a time before movie-goers got hooked on bad CGI like a street junkie gets addicted to heroine.
Also, I can’t forget to mention that our friends over at Fright-Rags have a really awesome War of the Worlds T-shirt. So, head on over to www.fright-rags.com and check it out along with their other really cool shirts.
– Helpless people get vaporized by alien ray guns
– Stupid humans sit in a ditch and watch an A-bomb being dropped from about 20 feet away
– A storefront church gets blown to bits
– Aliens go crusin’ around town in their fancy new spaceships
– 1 creepy alien door to door salesman
– Extreme square dancing
– 1 alien spy camera
– Spacehips that sound like an electric shaver with a low battery
– Fighter planes get shot out of the sky like clay pigeons