A victim of his own personal torment, The Giallo Goon (also called Goon) forces himself to watch some of worst and sleaziest films known to mankind, like some sort of sick, demented science experiment. He’ll upload videos of him warning others about these films, mocking them in a sarcastic and satirical manner in some weird attempt to save his own sanity, although it’s very possible that has been gone for some time.




With a title like ‘The Gestapo’s Last Orgy’, you’re probly thinking ‘Family Fun Entertainment’, right? Well, I guess that would depend on your family. If you’re family is a bunch of drooling, stark raving mad lunatics,then yes. Yes it is a family fun film. Also, it boasts as being ‘The sickest entry in the Nazisploitation genre!’ Let that set the bar of expectations for the film.

The movie opens up as our main characters, Nazi (or ex-Nazi since this movie is told in flashback form) Conrad von Starke and former Jew Prisoner Lisa (that kinda looks offensive written out) as they share a tender moment and this is their wholesome, beautiful story of how they fell in love… ahem. As they charmingly frolic through the old campsite (that also seems offensive written out) and reminisce. And they certainly don’t hold back on the ‘last orgy’ thing as the following scene is a bunch of naked Nazi soldiers are ordered to rape a group of Jewish prisoners, but not to give them pleasure. But, by now you’re probably thinking to yourself, ‘Hey, how come the Nazi’s aren’t speaking German or have German accents?’ And you would be foolish to think that. This scene also features a slide show of a woman eating and smearing herself in a man’s feces, but that’s the lighter side to this scene. We should probably just move on.

The following wholesome scenes include an inmate who is disfigured by other inmates with forks (Oh yeah… apparently this is also a ‘women in prison’ type of movie), another who is fed to dogs because she is having her menstrual cycle and plenty of more guards having sex with inmates. Hey wait, where are you going?

But this is also where we see Starke become interested in Lisa because of her unbreakable spirit. Nothing he does to her, or the other prisoners, seems to bother her. She just stands motionless with a stone cold gaze. Maybe she is in shock that she said ‘yes’ to this film. Not even a dinner scene where the German Officers main course is the prisoners (Cannibalism too? Man, this movie has everything!), but they even set fire to a prisoner and have an orgy? I did warn you, it’s even in the title. Lisa’s torture and humiliation continues and she attempts suicide, but is saved by a doctor and we learn why Lisa is there, what she did and about her family. It’s actually a pretty compelling moment in the midst of all the horrible images and scenes going on.

Starke finally admits he has fallen in love with Lisa and she has fallen for him. She wears a belt made of scalps from former inmates as a sign of affection. Much cheaper than a ring! She gives birth to a baby only to have it taken away and killed (because why not? Just in case something in this film hasn’t offended you) since a ‘half breed’ would have no place in the new world according to Starke. This brings the movies conclusion as we see Starke attempting to make love to Lisa, but she removes a revolver from her purse… GASP! What happens next.

I would say we could make a drinking game out of this. Like, every time you are offended by something, but then the bottle would never leave your lips and you would drown yourself. And for the record, regardless of this story being about how a couple met, this isn’t a good date movie. I should know, but hey! How was I supposed to know this sort of thing repulses 99% of the population? Maybe if it starred Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston… Either way, this film does contain enough offensive material to make even a sex offender blush, but underneath is brutal revenge flick blending together several genres. So if you can stomach it, check it out.

roadside attractions

  • Germans with English accents
  • Cannibal Cookout
  • Dog Meat
  • Wieners and Buns!
  • Women in Prison massacre
  • Goose Steppin’ Nazi-o-Rama
  • Femme Fatale Revenge
totals

6

blood

BLOOD

You get some blood. You get some guts (quite literally).

9

blood

BREASTS

Nearly a moment doesn’t go by, but probly not in the way you want to see them.

8

beast

BEASTS

Chock full ‘o Nazis!

6.00 OVERALL
dripper