The Outing

At what point in history did the Genie become a giant smurf clown with the voice of Robin Williams?  According to middle eastern legend, the genie or Jin is supposed to be a mischievous demonic spirit that would trick you into taking a salt bath with a pack of cobras or get your friend to pee on a electric fence all due to a poorly worded wish, not some wise cracking Jack Nicholson impersonator with a talking parrot. Sure there’s been truly horrifying genies before like Sinbad or even Shaquille O’Neal in Shazaam but none have really captured that  level of creepy factor. Thankfully, movies like The Lamp aka The Outing bring us that more traditional Jin, a demon full of hate and evil… just like Barbara Eden did back in the 60’s.

Being an ancient genie trapped in a lamp for thousands of year gives a Jin a lot of pent of anger and cramped legs so when one is accidentally released by some burglars in an old lady’s house, it’s got a lot of killing to catch up on. Once free, the genie chops down two of the crooks pool party style while giving an axe to the noggin’ of another. Their hopes for finding the old lady’s treasure are pretty much nixed at that point. The cops show up, find the magic lamp with a matching bracelet and give them to the local museum…. yet another missed Antique Road Show opportunity. The museum curator puts them in an office supply room while his kleptomaniac daughter snags the bracelet to accessorize her flashdance sweatshirt. The jewelry is obviously cursed with the demon’s spirit, a sort of extreme friendship bracelet that causes Amy to become possessed herself. We know it’s demonic possession denoted by the glowing eyes and her deep man voice. Her friends don’t seem to notice or care and she easily convinces them to stay the night at the museum for some free after-hours tours and gruesome death and the hands of an ancient demonic spirit.

The LampThe genie starts offing her friends one by one. Not even a opera singing security guard can stop the carnage nor would we want it to really. There’s spear impalement, snake bites in a bathtub, death by a mummy, and a particularly gruesome twitch inducing neck twister. Up to this point the demon we see is mostly just smoke and red Kool-aid vision but It finally makes an appearance just as the budget runs out appearing to be a green alien puppet on roller blades. The Genie can snap guys necks but can’t seem to open doors (door opening obviously not covered in the genie handbook.) It pursues Amy’s dad whom she accidentally wished dead earlier during an argument and Amy must try to stop it before it kills him and possibly takes over the world through badly worded wishes. Birthday wishers everywhere best beware!

Barry Goodall says to give the Lamp a good rub down and always make sure your evil lamps are properly sealed from demonic leakage. This is really the film “Night at the Museum” should have been.

roadside attractions

  • Double axe to the noggin’
  • Locker room-fu
  • Opera singing security guards
  • Snake bite bath
  • Spear through the gut
  • Mummy-fu
  • Headcrush fu with optional rotation
  • Antique Roadshowing
  • Levitation and strangulation combo move
totals

8

blood

BLOOD

Plenty of carnage but only during museum after hours.

8

blood

BREASTS

What the film lacks in a cohesive plot is made up for in gratutious nudity.

5

beast

BEASTS

1 mean-lean genie machine.

7 OVERALL
dripper

Watch the entire movie here.

trailers

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