She-Wolf of the Woods
2013 – Not Rated – Stay Curious Productions

Women, am I right? If they aren’t trying to break your heart, they’re trying to eat it, because they transform into supernatural beasts at night. Seems like it’s always the case, especially in Scotland. Just what in Sam-hell is going on over there? And who is Sam? Grab a pint and let’s find out.

This story takes place in the Dalavich Village of Scotland, to be exact. After a very cool transition shot of the moon fading into a light bulb, a young woman named Amy has just finished a shower (sorry fellas, no nudity here) and is hungry for a snack, removing a severed hand from the fridge, making for one of the few gore scenes in the film. It cuts to the title credits before we see what she does with it, so whether it was baked or pan fried in a sauce, we will never know.

As the not fitting, but somehow fitting funky, almost soft-core 70’s porn music continues, Amy meanders in the woods drinking some whiskey and kicking a soccer ball in a child’s face (I have to ask, does it make me a bad person if I unintentionally laughed at that?). After ditching some evidence, burning what is most likely the clothes of whoever that hand belonged to, she finishes up her drinking to continue drinking at the local tavern. While there, she takes her time scanning the male population there, which are oogling at her so intensely, you could replace them all with cartoon wolves, howling with their tongues and eyes popping out of their heads. She settles on a man in a trucker hat, camo jacket and a handlebar mustache, everything that embodies the stereotypical beer guzzling M-A-N and takes him home. Once her door closes, it goes to black, leaving to our imaginations his fate, which probably isn’t good for him or his mustache.sww_3

The following morning at her day job, which is a Forest Ranger (makes sense when you think about the title of the movie), we are introduced to Ben, who looks like he has raided Roddy Piper’s wardrobe (kilt and all). He exchanges glances with Amy and begins asking questions to a man sitting next to him with an acoustic guitar about her in the most unconvincing southern accent. The man warns Ben not to get involved with her, but do you think he’ll listen? Like most people in this movie, Ben spends a good amount of his time drinking at the tavern, where he and Amy talk about his past. His family having died and all, he sure is making a perfect candidate to bring home…

Once they are at Amy’s, you could say Ben certainly gets more than what he bargained for… two for the price of one! A blonde seductress named Lucille joins in on the fun, as the two put on a show for him. Lucille takes him upstairs where things get a little… hairy…

She-Wolf of the Woods is a short film, running just a little over half an hour and in that time frame, it tells a familiar fable modestly. However, I can’t help but have wanted the film to explore the characters of Amy and Lucille a bit more, bringing them into the light and rounding out their characters. A little more back story would have really brought them to life and fleshed them out some. Although they do give Lucille exposition in the final scene (I won’t spoil it), you can’t help but to want the movie to continue to see how the rest of the film could have played out. Also, for a low budget short film, it has some of the most remarkable and beautiful lighting and cinematography I have seen in some time. It sets up and further enhances the atmosphere of the scene, feeling like a mix of comic book and modern gothic horror at times.

She-Wolf of the Woods
Whereas gorehounds may find it to be underwhelming, fans of Lycan mythology will find their appetites pleased and wanting more. So who knows, maybe we will see more? I guess we’ll find out on a full moon.

Check out this review and plenty others at Goon Reviews.

roadside attractions

  • She needed a hand.
  • Drinking Game: Every time a character drinks, take a drink.
  • Mustache ride.
  • Roddy Piper stunt double.
  • The sex can get a little “hairy”..
totals

3

blood

BLOOD

Nothing you really need a rain coat for.

8

blood

BREASTS

The movie fills out well in this category.

7

beast

BEASTS

The big bad and her companion have quite the appetite.

6 OVERALL
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Watch the trailer for “She-Wolf of the Woods!”

trailers

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