Season’s Grievings from your friends here at The Lost Highway. 2016 has been a difficult year. We lost Professor Snape, Admiral Ackbar, and even Alf. We watched as the United States of Earth was divided down the middle in a vicious election which still threatens to end in a nasty divorce. There were devastating natural disasters and Russians hacking. It’s been a real bummer.

And now to compound things it’s the holiday season, the worst wonderful time of the year. “While everybody else is opening up their presents, (others are) opening up their wrists” because “the suicide rate is always the highest around the holidays.” (Kate Beringer, Gremlins). In light of this year’s events, and the weight of the holiday season, what’s a mutant to do?

This Xmas we decided to put together a little gift to answer that question, a list of advice gleaned from the reel world of b-movies. We watched twelve Xmas themed movies and learned twelve valuable lessons to help navigate life.

The Lost Highway proudly presents: The Twelve Slays of Xmas.

The Seventh Slay of Xmas: Don’t Open Till Christmas

Things happen in Britain. Some of those things are murder. Some murders happen on Xmas. When all the former conditions are met invariably all the victims will all be people dressed as Santa. Whatever you do, DON’T dress as Santa when Santas are being murdered. This would seem fairly obvious, but, well, there you go.

Also, if someone is snooping around your car while you’re getting busy, and it’s Xmas, let ‘em watch. It’s the reason for the season. Plus, it’s how dogging got started.

Be sure to come back tomorrow for The Eighth Slay of Xmas: Christmas Evil

Watch the trailer for “Don’t Open Till Christmas”