Season’s Grievings from your friends here at The Lost Highway. 2016 has been a difficult year. We lost Professor Snape, Admiral Ackbar, and even Alf. We watched as the United States of Earth was divided down the middle in a vicious election which still threatens to end in a nasty divorce. There were devastating natural disasters and Russians hacking. It’s been a real bummer.

And now to compound things it’s the holiday season, the worst wonderful time of the year. “While everybody else is opening up their presents, (others are) opening up their wrists” because “the suicide rate is always the highest around the holidays.” (Kate Beringer, Gremlins). In light of this year’s events, and the weight of the holiday season, what’s a mutant to do?

This Xmas we decided to put together a little gift to answer that question, a list of advice gleaned from the reel world of b-movies. We watched twelve Xmas themed movies and learned twelve valuable lessons to help navigate life.

The Lost Highway proudly presents: The Twelve Slays of Xmas.

The Eighth Slay of Xmas: Christmas Evil

Everyone partakes in the sexuals now and again—“it’s natural, it’s chemical, it’s logical, habitual” (rest in peace George). There is a line that when crossed things get dicey. One of those lines is exploring your Santa fantasies, especially the one where you do it in front of the tree in the living room, when the kids are in the house. Little Harry (or Harriette), the ever curious one, is bound to get up, having heard a noise in the living room, and walk in on a vision of Xmas no child should see. Therapy can only do so much. This is trauma that drives one to become a psycho serial killer who fancies himself a real-life Santa Claus or a b-movie critic. Ugh!

So have a little care and keep it in the bedroom where you can lock the door.

Be sure to come back tomorrow for The Ninth Slay of Xmas: Silent Night, Bloody Night

Watch the trailer for “Christmas Evil”