Season’s Grievings from your friends here at The Lost Highway. 2016 has been a difficult year. We lost Professor Snape, Admiral Ackbar, and even Alf. We watched as the United States of Earth was divided down the middle in a vicious election which still threatens to end in a nasty divorce. There were devastating natural disasters and Russians hacking. It’s been a real bummer.

And now to compound things it’s the holiday season, the worst wonderful time of the year. “While everybody else is opening up their presents, (others are) opening up their wrists” because “the suicide rate is always the highest around the holidays.” (Kate Beringer, Gremlins). In light of this year’s events, and the weight of the holiday season, what’s a mutant to do?

This Xmas we decided to put together a little gift to answer that question, a list of advice gleaned from the reel world of b-movies. We watched twelve Xmas themed movies and learned twelve valuable lessons to help navigate life.

The Lost Highway proudly presents: The Twelve Slays of Xmas.

The Tenth Slay of Xmas: Silent Night

We here at The Lost Highway are firm believers in the Ancient Greek idea of moderation. Anything done to excess can become a problem. We’ve seen it time and time again. Case in point, a small town with a big Santa festival draws a large number of Santa impersonators. What could be wrong with that, you ask? Well, if someone is bug nut crazy and wants to go on a killing spree dressed as Santa—and who HASN’T had that thought, amirite?—, such a small town would be a great place to go a murdering.

So see, even something as innocent as a Santa Claus festival can have dire consequences. You may be waving your hands dismissing this warning as so much hogwash, but ignore this admonition at your peril. We won’t be so tacky as to say we told you so, but… we told you so.

Be sure to come back tomorrow for The Eleventh Slay of Xmas: Black Christmas

Watch the trailer for “Silent Night”