Archive for the '50’s b-movies' Category

Jul

Comments Off on “The Manster” a.k.a. “The Split” Rest Stop Edition

Tokyo is being terrorized by a crazed beast. But this time it’s not Gojira, he needed to use up some vacation time and took the day off.

A deranged scientist (aren’t they all that way in these movies) has finally run out of family members to do experiments on and he really needs a new lab rat to continue his “important” work. Conveniently, a “dumb as a stick” writer shows up at his house to do an article about him. Not long after arriving, the mad scientist who’s also known as Dr. Suzuki offers him a drink that’s been laced with a “ruffie” and after a couple of sips he passes out. Jeez! What a lightweight. While Larry (that’s the guy’s name) is unconscious Mr. “I can give you a great deal on a boat, atv, car or motorcycle” Suzuki shoots him up with some kind of genetic experiment, similar to those govt. flu vaccinations.

The mad scientist, who also earns extra cash as a pimp on the side doesn’t want his petri dish on two legs to leave Tokyo, so he keeps him busy by serving up plenty of ho’s and Saki. He even offers Larry his prized egg roll, an assistant named Tara. A day or so after the injection strange things begin happening to Larry. He goes from being a mild mannered Professor Klump type of person to an abusive womanizer who runs around assaulting random women. I think he’s been hanging around Charlie Sheen too much. Then late one night after getting his fill of the Geisha buffet, Larry goes home and discovers a nasty looking rash on his shoulder. That what he gets for not using some kind of protection. Luckily, for him the rash goes away but then an eyeball sprouts out of his shoulder. Hey, aren’t “third eyes” supposed to appear in the middle of the head? Well, it probably got lost trying follow Map Quest directions. Anyway, things continue to get worst when other symptoms start showing up like a hairy palm and finger nails that grow as long as Wolverine’s claws. Now, I just checked out Larry’s symptoms on Web MD and I was wrong, it’s not an STD. Maybe, he’s going through puberty again???

Well, I’m not to sure what’s goin’ on here, but the movie starts to get Tom Cruise jumpin’ on Oprah’s couch freaky when a little shrunken head sporting some bad looking teeth (must be British) pops outta Larry’s shoulder like a stripper bursting from a big birthday cake. And before you can say double trouble, the crazed duo are destroying public property Chris Brown style and murdering various people on the street using the Ripper’s as in Jack the Ripper’s MO. Soon the police are hot on their trail like Wynona Ryder after a shop lifting spree. But after awhile Larry tires of the freakshow life style and decides to call it quits with his new BBF. Apparently, two heads aren’t better than one. That’s a real shame. They seemed so happy together. Counseling isn’t an option as Larry quickly splits with his other half using a tree trunk like a crowbar to pry himself apart. Well, at least they won’t have to pay for divorce attorneys. A newly single, and back on the market Larry watches from a distance as the Trog wannabe steals his girlfriend Tara and they both take the Nestea plunge into a volcano. Then the credits immediately roll for what has to be the fastest ending that I’ve ever seen in a movie that still has me wondering if the director ran outta film?

Half Man, Half Monster, a 100% pure B-movie cheese.

Roadside Attractions:

– A double-header villian
– Random murders
– 1 crazy scientist
– 1 scorned wife
– Extreme Saki drinking
– Supersized lee press on nails
– Plenty of DIY make-up effects
– 1 eyeball on the shoulder gag
– 1 hairy palm
– Creepy Thermin music
– Geisha girl bloodbath
– A head sprouts out of a shoulder
– A guy wearing a hokey gorilla costume


Unfortunately, a trailer isn’t available even though this movie is in the public domain.

Jun

posted by admin | June 11, 2011 | 50's b-movies, B-movie Reviews, B-movies, Rest stop, Sci-Fi

Comments Off on “War of the Worlds” Rest Stop Edition

Just when I thought aliens with anger management issues had grown tired of attacking planet earth, guess what, it happens yet again. This time the trouble starts when rift raft, calling themselves Martians visit a small town and start mingling with the locals. The townies aren’t very amused when the outsiders use heat lamps on steroids to vaporize their kin folk. And who could blame them? Now, I’m pretty sure things would have turned out better if the aliens had showed up with a giant lemon creme bunt cake instead of with their ray guns a blastin’. And before you can say “Hooah”, the Army has gotten word of the invasion. They quickly arrive with a butt-load of weapons and setup shop. The plan they come up with is to use enough firepower to blow the evil E.T.’s all the way back to their home planet, and worrying about asking questions later. Typical military mentality, isn’t it? But their bone-headed plan fails about as bad as the movie “Zyzzyx Road” did at the box office (it just made $30, really) when the aliens take everything that the army shoots and drops on them, including an A-bomb without even breaking a sweat. Now, I have one question, do alien’s even sweat? It’s just a curiosity thing. Anyway, as soon as the dust settles the aliens go cruisin’ down main street, showing off their shiny new rides but instead of visiting the local watering hole and boozing it up or scoring with some hot earth women, they begin blasting everything in sight to smithereens with their niffty looking shower head shaped death rays.

Then something very strange happens, the Martian Warships begin crashing into stuff like Tiger Woods trying to drive away from his golf club yielding wife. At first I was as confused as Jessica Simpson would be trying to spell the word “cat” during a spelling bee, at what was happening onscreen. But, thankfully, I got the 411 from the narrator in the movie who explained that the aliens were dying, and it wasn’t because they got a wiff of P. Diddy’s breath either. Nope, it turns out some harmless earth germs were the culprit. Well, it serves those alien freaks right for not getting their booster shots before invading our planet. So much for other intelligent lifeforms, huh? If you haven’t seen this old school sci-fi flick already, be sure to give it a look-see. It features an out of this world soundtrack by composer Leith Stevens, some really cool spaceship designs, sound effects, along with plenty of impressive looking hand-crafted sets and visual effects in a time before movie-goers got hooked on bad CGI like a street junkie gets addicted to heroine.

Also, I can’t forget to mention that our friends over at Fright-Rags have a really awesome War of the Worlds T-shirt. So, head on over to www.fright-rags.com and check it out along with their other really cool shirts.

Roadside Attractions:

– Helpless people get vaporized by alien ray guns
– Stupid humans sit in a ditch and watch an A-bomb being dropped from about 20 feet away
– A storefront church gets blown to bits
– Aliens go crusin’ around town in their fancy new spaceships
– 1 creepy alien door to door salesman
– Extreme square dancing
– 1 alien spy camera
– Spacehips that sound like an electric shaver with a low battery
– Fighter planes get shot out of the sky like clay pigeons

trailers

dripper
Jan

Comments Off on Revenge of the B-movie Trailers

We’ve found some more movie trailers both old and new for you to check out. Enjoy!

Mega Piranha

Well, the masters of blockbuster rip-offs, Asylum Films, are at it again. This time they’re looking to “reel-in” viewers with their killer fish clone, “Mega Piranha.” The basic premise is a school of not very friendly, mutated, and wingless, but flying fish (thanks to some really bad CGI effects) is blamed for several bizarre deaths. If you’re thinking the plot smells fishy that’s because it’s practically been lifted from “Piranha 2: The Spawning”, which was made almost 30 years ago. Anyway, various piranhas are shown attacking a building and a high-flying helicopter. It’s hilarious watching them soar through the air in every direction like they’ve been fired out of cannons. Not surprisingly, the dumb and helpless humans in the movie quickly end up becoming fish food, except for a guy who channels Jackie Chan and uses kick attacks would like to suggest a career change.  Maybe train to be a chef, perhaps go back to school for a business administration degree, or perhaps a fireman.  Anything that does not involve the cinematic arts. Only director, Uwe Boll (“House of the Dead”) would make a movie this bad and expect it to be taken seriously. If you like cheesy, bottom-of-the-fish-barrel, SyFy channel-style films, then “Mega Piranha” will have you, hook, line, and sinker.

Mutant Swinger From Mars

The title alone made me curious about seeing this preview. At first I was wondering if this was some kind of soft-core porn movie from the 50’s that I had somehow missed. Well, after watching the trailer I’m a little disappointed that it’s not a long-forgotten porn movie, but I’m happy to write that it looks to be an another gut-busting satire that takes inspiration from those old 50’s sci-fi movies. It seems Martians (who look like rejects from an old episode of “Star Trek”) have invaded planet Earth again to kidnap as many earth women as possible. They probably got the idea after watching “Earth Girls Are Easy.” Now, there’s one thing that I can’t figure out, and that’s how Mars apparently has water to support organic life forms, but they don’t have a dating service.

Puppet Master: Axis of Evil

I’d written off Full Moon years ago after seeing their piss-poor excuse of a film called “Decadent Evil”, which lifted so much footage from other movies that even Ed Wood would have drawn the line. But I have to admit that this trailer really makes an effort to capture the feel and atmosphere of earlier “Puppet Master” movies. This latest sequel picks up after the events of “Puppet Master III: Toulon’s Revenge”, which is my favorite film in the series. The whole gang (Blade, Pinhead, Leech Woman, etc.) look to be back in action, which should make fans of the series happy. Let’s just hope that Full Moon founder, Charlie Band, is starting a new trend with this installment: releasing movies that are actually fun to watch.

Michael Morlock’s Supernatural World

The actor who plays Michael Morlock really could be a Michael Moore impersonator. The trailer starts off with Morlock earning some extra cash pimping a Viagra knock-off while filming his latest documentary. Then we see him conducting eye witness interviews and doing investigative reporting at various locations where supernatural phenomena have supposedly occurred, such as the “Tunnel of Doom”, which just looks like an ordinary bridge to me. This is probably the kind of movie you’d end up with if the real Michael Moore had directed sci-fi documentaries.

Sharktopus

A creature that is half shark and half octopus, not to be confused with Oprah, has been created for the Navy so they can use the deadly “double feature” as the ultimate weapon. And before you can say Long John Silver’s, aquatic chaos ensues as the creature flips its creators the middle fin and starts chowing down on anything with a pulse. This flick has all the things that we’ve come to expect from a SyFy channel movie such as Z-grade visual effects, a cast of washed-up actors (I mean that affectionately), and dialog that’s been tastefully ripped-off from other movies. B-movie fans will enjoy seeing legendary B-movie director/producer Roger Corman’s cameo as a beach comber who finds a gold coin on the beach after “Sharktopus” has just eaten your standard issue clueless, blonde bimbo.

Feb

posted by admin | February 24, 2010 | 50's b-movies, Guest Review, Horror movies, Sci-Fi

Comments Off on The Brain That Wouldn’t Die

AerykAeryk is a delicate fondue of Cajun and Viking stock, with all the subtly, grace and refinement of a high colonic. He indulges in all night orgies of sex and violence with the likes of Sex With The Headless Corpse of the Virgin Astronaut. His iTunes library is named Bad Mother F***er despite the fact it has the Bangles Greatest Hits. He reads comic books, writes incessantly and he fancies himself The Lovable Rascal.

Probably most disturbing is his propensity to write about himself in third person, needlessly.

and now Lost Highway is proud to present on a silver platter Aeryk’s review of “The Brain that Wouldn’t Die.”

Tagline: Alive … without a body … fed by an unspeakable horror from hell.

Year: 1962 Runtime: 82 mins

Director: Joseph Green

Writer: Rex Carlton (original story) & Joseph Green (original story/screenplay)

Starring: Jason Evers, Virginia Leith, Leslie Daniels, Adele Lamont

What You Expect:

Science, the kind with a capital S, and not just ‘cos it’s at the beginning of the sentence.

What You Need to Know:

The science side of sci fi is usually worse than the fiction, but this is exponentially more the case when one is talking about 50’s – 60’s movies. In these stories anyone who wears a white coat majored in Science. Back in the Way Back When there wasn’t the specialization that has killed the Scientist today.

What [The Brain That Wouldn’t Die] Delivers:

The movie begins black. A woman’s voice pleads, “Let me die. Let me die.” This flooded me with sweet memories of the day I was born. No, I don’t mean to suggest I remember my birth, ‘cos I don’t. My father filmed the birth, or, more correctly, he thought he was filming it. Actually, he was filming the inside of the lens cap. He did manage to get some beautifully haunting audio of the miracle. Watching it years later, I believe I was 7 or 8, it was much like the beginning of this film.

Unlike my birth, the filmmaker removed the lens cap. It’s to an O.R. with two doctors (father and son) working feverishly to save a patient. Sadly, the operation doesn’t work. Dr. Father says, “I should have known the instant we wheeled him in this wouldn’t work.” This was completely obvious ‘cos there wasn’t any equipment in the O.R. Even Unga Bunga Cavemens™ had incense and herbs and leeches. What did they expect? Where they going to “look” him back to life?

Since the operation was a bust, the son asks if he can do it his way. Uhm, mysterious, but ok. To seal the deal Dr. Son says, “He’s dead. I can’t do any harm.”

To which, Dr. Father sighs, “Fine. Do whatever you want.”

HUH?!? I know people tend to turn a blind eye to things when it’s family, but “do whatever you want?” It’s a good thing the guy died.

After the surgery Dr. Son gets a frantic message that he’s needed at the weekend cottage. Dr. Son and his fiance rush off. The road to the cottage is treacherous, full of slow curves and rolling hills. Along a straight stretch of highway, Dr. Son somehow loses control of the car, launching it off a cliff. Or, that’s what the filmmakers wanted to film, but what actually happens is he meanders slightly to the right, BEFORE the tight curve, and bumps into the guardrail.

Cut to: the rocky cliff they were driving along magically transforms into a soft grassy slope down which Dr. Son starts rolling, having been thrown from the car.

Cut to: Another magic transformation into a different hill, where he comes to a stop. He quickly jumps up and runs AWAY from where he had crashed. Somehow makes it back to the car.

Ah! The power of cheese.

But, wait, it gets AWE-some! When Dr. Son makes it back to the car his fiance’s hand raises from in the burning car, shakes dramatically, then fall back. Dr. Son takes off is jacket and, rather than reach over the side of the car, as it was a convertible, WITH the top down, he reaches through the broken windshield and tosses his coat in. I would have been cornfused, but nothing else made sense. Why should this?

Why would he toss in his coat, you ask? Only to have the best thing ever happen. The writhing hand hands back the coat all wrapped up with something in it. Her HEAD! Yes, her decapitated body wrapped its head in the jacket and handed it back to him. Rather than worry about her death, or spaz, or just die, she used her last few seconds to neatly pack her head and hand it off to the man she loved. They don’t make womerns like that any more.
In the weekend cottage Dr. Son has set up a lab where he’s been using stolen limbs from amputees to perfect his serum, some magical concoction that is supposed to allow transplanted limbs and organs to play nice with one another. In several failed attempts he had managed to graft arms on to his apprentice, only to have them shrivel up into useless claws. His biggest mistake, and the reason he was rushing to the cottage, is the Frankenstein monster he created from all the limbs and organs he’s stolen. When he takes his girl’s head to the house, it’s the serum that allows the head to live in little more than a baking tin full of tomato juice and clamps. It would seem to me that this is a fantastic feat for Science, but what do I know.

Not content with just a head for a fiance, Dr. Son decides to go looking for a replacement. To his benefit this is also the Good Ole Days™ when a trip to the local burlesque show was the place to brought your girl for a romantic date. Or, if you’re single, the burlesque was a great meet up. ‘Cos that’s where all the single ladies were to be found. And if that weren’t enough, the dancers literally fight over you.

When the burlesque doesn’t turn up any winners, and a body beautiful contest only turns up the second best looking body, Dr. Son decides on a pin up model who was disfigured by a former lover, leaving her bitter against all men. By disfigured I mean he mashed some silly puddy on her face, which is easily covered by her hair. A terrible, terrible tragedy.
Blah, blah, blah. Takes her to the cottage. Blah, blah, blah. Slips her a roofie. Blah, blah, blah. Time for surgery. The only thing better than Dr. Son’s Science is his logic. As he’s preparing the body, the head tries to talk him out of his insane plans. Her arguments fall on deaf ears. His retort, “Is it a crime to want to keep you alive? Is it a crime for Science to jump ahead by years?”

UHM? Yes it is, ‘cos you’ve been stealing limbs and body parts for secret experiments and you’re going to kill an innocent girl for her body. But, again, what do I know. I’m not a Scientist.

-Burlesque Show
-Body Perfect Show
-Burlesque Cat Fight
-Bikini Fotoshoot
-Conehead Toxie
-Marble Catching Fire

6.0 out of 10

Check out the trailer for The Brain That Wouldn’t Die

Apr

Comments Off on More B-movie Trailers

We’re back with some more movie previews that will hopefully satisfy your B-Movie craving. Most of the movie trailers except for “Black” are either out already, or are coming out sometime in 2009.  Since “Lost Skeleton Returns Again” about to be released we wanted to include the trailer for the original Lost Skeleton of Cadavra in case anyone wanted to refresh their memory for the upcoming sequel. So, turn down the lights, grab your favorite snack/beverage and enjoy the previews below! So, put on your favorite custom t-shirts with the really obscure movie references on them, turn down the lights, grab your favorite snack/beverage and enjoy the previews below.

The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra

A brilliant homage from writer/director Larry Blamire that perfectly captures the look and feel of those cheesy low-budget sci-fi movies from the Atomic Age. Filled with plenty of hilarious dialog and DIY visual effects that would make Ed Wood proud. Filmed in Skeletorama.

The Lost Skeleton Returns Again

This sequel takes place in a jungle and it appears to have the same elements that made the first one so great. Of course the Skeleton is back and he has a bone to pick! Well, actually only the skull returns this time even though the sequel reportedly was given a bigger budget. And speaking of bigger budgets, this movie proves that you don’t need millions of dollars, random missing film reels, or fake looking distress filters to make a fun throwback movie. I really enjoyed the cheesy charm of the original Skeleton released 2001 that made retro sci-fi movies popular again. Let’s hope this sequel can re-capture the spoof-tacular magic of the original.

Trail of the Screaming Forehead

Looks like another hilarious send-up of sci-fi movies from the 50’s by director Larry Blamire. This time “Foreheads” want to rule the world. Some of the visual effects will remind you of stop motion pioneer and legend Ray Harryhausen (Clash of the Titans). Harryhausen also gave the film his stamp of approval by releasing it under his “Ray Harryhausen Presents” banner. Check it out, but watch out for the brows on the prowl .

Black

At first glance this just looks like your standard action movie set in some foreign location (this time France). But thanks to a fresh mix of comic book style action, a 70’s flavored soundtrack (think Shaft) and some voodoo shenanigans this movie aims to keep things interesting. Even though this movie looks like fun I’m a little concerned that a rapper is playing the lead role. I’m just keeping my fingers crossed that it doesn’t turn out to be another “Cool as Ice.” Also, the film is in French and has English subtitles, so you might want to brush up on your subtitle reading skills before seeing this movie. But don’t worry you still have plenty of time as “Black” still hasn’t received U.S. distribution.

Rampage

Behold, the Turkish answer to Rambo. A great action movie parody by the same guy who gave us Turkish Star Wars. This movie has a fully loaded arsenal of cheesy sound effects, funny lines and rapid fire hand to hand combat best described as “Wack-Attack-Fu” that is guaranteed to make you laugh so hard you might loose consciousness. Coming to DVD April 24, 2009 for the first time since it was made nearly 23 years ago.

The Ghastly Love of Johnny X

After seeing the awesome retro styled movie poster online, I just had to check out the trailer. And I’m happy to say that from what I’ve seen this movie looks like a fun musical spoof of those old black and white sci-fi movies. There is even a guy wearing a Devo hat. Hey, Devo wasn’t around in the 50’s? This is what I imagine Grease would have looked and sounded like if it had been done as a sci-fi movie. Also, Phantasm fans keep an eye out for Reggie Bannister who can be seen in the trailer.

Hobgoblins 2

Who ever thought director Rick Sloane would make a sequel to his film Hobgoblins, especially after receiving a brutal Chevy Chase style roast courtesy of the MSTK 3000 guys. Well, it took 20 plus years, but Sloane bravely returns with Hobgoblins 2. In the first movie the title creatures which look like a poor man’s “Munchie” escape from an old film vault in their evil quest to make dreams come true and cause murderous mayhem. Fans will be happy to know that the highly anticipated new installment continues the director’s successful formula of stock explosions and car crashes along with his “I threw this together in 5 minutes” production design. And I’m sure when people hear the Hobgoblins theme song at the end of the trailer the catchy tune will break download records on iTunes.

About the Highway

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