Archive for the '80’s movies' Category


Comments Off on Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Welcome to the Second Annual Holiday Movie Review by Drive-in Dan and Mrs. Drive-in Dan. Now, I heard a lot about how I just “took over” last year’s review of “Christmas Vacation”, so this year I am going to sit back and keep my mouth shut. Really. I will. I promise. Dan, dear, take it away.

Drive-in Dan: All right, woman. You sure you’re gonna be able to keep quiet for this one?

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Yes, dear.

Drive-in Dan: *Sigh* Uh-huh. We’ll see. But I love you. O.K., here we go…

Filmed on a budget of a Britney Spears weekend shopping spree, this abomination of film making was made by a group of first-time hacks-for-hire, who proudly wear this cinematic scarlet letter, even though the movie industry and legions of horror fans shun them.

After his older brother (psycho Santa) gets slayed at the conclusion of the first film, Ricky, psycho Santa’s baby brother, has an ax to grind with the naughty and continues to spread the family brand of holiday fear. If you haven’t seen the first movie that’s O.K.–because this “sequel” has about 40 or so minutes of footage from the first movie in the form of flashbacks to get you caught-up. The production value takes cheap to whole new low, as it would make a flea market look like a Macy’s. Starring Eric Freeman (Ricky), who is the greatest eyebrow actor to ever appear onscreen, some in the horror community consider this film to be the “Troll 2” of holiday movies. The acting by everyone in this thing is so bad, the performances should be considered a criminal offense.

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Sweetie? Can I interject something here?

Drive-in Dan: Yes…?

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Now, I must agree with you. That Eric Freeman’s eyebrows are a force to be reckoned with. I mean seriously–those things should have had top-billing for the movie! At the very least, their own line in the credits! Did they get their own trailer on the set during the shooting? And what was with that girl taking a moment to gulp before she was about to get killed? Run, girl, run! Don’t just stand there and gulp, waiting for the nut-case to do you in!

Drive-in Dan: Dang it, woman! Can I continue here?

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Yes, dear. I apologize. Carry on.

Drive-in Dan: Anyhow, you have to wonder how many “writers” (I use the term very loosely) it takes to throw together a screenplay for a sequel in six hours using the script and half the footage from the previous movie. Believe it or not five. Five writers.

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Honestly, someone should question what in the world that Pringle lady did as the script supervisor. This thing was a piece of…

Drive-in Dan: Woman!

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Shushing. Sorry, dear. Keep going.

Drive-in Dan: I’ve made a list of the good stuff for you to check out so that you don’t have to waste your time with the entirety of this shoddy film. Here’s the list:

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Sweetie?

Drive-in Dan: (annoyed) Yes…?

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Honey, I don’t have the list.

Drive-in Dan: (through clenched teeth) That’s because there ISN’T one. There is no dang list of good stuff in the movie, because this movie is a big piece of reindeer poop marinated in Elf urine. If you’d let me get through this dang review, that would become apparent!

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Oh. Yes, dear. Sorry. Keep going.

Drive-in Dan: Little Ricky is lucky enough to get adopted, but he apparently suffers from “chromophobia”–the fear of color. Ricky’s problem is with the color red…as in the color of Santa’s suit and just about every other dang thing at Christmas. The first incident of this we see is when he’s on the street with his adoptive mother, and while she is talking to a friend, Ricky has some kind of “episode” when a red cloth is thrown over a chair in a store window. I’m sure it had nothing to do with the nuns he kept seeing on the street, or the Omen-ish music that accompanied them as they virtually floated off the ground, in and out of the stores. He had such positive experiences at the hand of Mother Superior at the orphanage. What a fine woman of God she was… Uh, yeah. Anyhow…

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Sweetheart? Are you going to talk about the part with–

Drive-in Dan: Dang it, woman… I’m getting there!

Ricky grows up and gets a job as a dishwasher, because his adoptive father died, and his adoptive mother had no money to send him to college, so he had to work to pay his own way. Life’s rough. While confronting a loan shark in the alley behind where he works, Ricky has another “episode” when the loan shark pulls out a red handkerchief. Seriously, somebody put this guy in a ring for a bull fight. Ricky impales the loan shark with an umbrella from a trash can and leaves him in the alley. And then it starts to rain…

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Well at least he had an umbrella over him to keep him dry.

Drive-in Dan: Woman, he was dead! The umbrella was through his body!

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Yes, but at least he was a dry corpse! Now hurry up! I have to go check my Christmas cookies and mix up the icing to decorate them!

Drive-in Dan: Fine. I have to go see a man about a horse–too much holiday nog. You wanna jump in the driver’s seat while I go take care of this?

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Certainly, dear. I’ll move us along until you get back.

So, any-hoo, all of this is part of Ricky’s flashbacks as he’s telling his life story to shrink #13 who’s come in to talk to him in jail. The shrink pulls out a photo of a pretty blonde. Ah, Jennifer. The only thing Ricky ever cared about. So then we see flashbacks of Ricky with Jennifer. He flips-out when he sees Jennifer’s ex, Chip, in front of Jennifer’s house by his red Mustang, talking about how he and Jennifer got busy in the back seat. Uh-oh. Not only do we have a red vehicle in this picture, but Ricky also thought Jennifer was a virgin when he’d slept with her. Tsk-tsk. So, he zaps Chip–literally–with a jumper cable from the car battery to the mouth. Jennifer is stupid enough to stop, take a moment, and gulp as she realizes she’s about to be killed (if you are not screaming at the television for her to RUN in this scene, you have way more patience with people than I do), which gives Ricky a chance to yank the antenna from the car and strangle her.

Well, wouldn’t-cha know it, a cop sees the whole thing and pulls a gun on him. Ricky gets the gun away from the cop and kills him, and goes on a rampage through the neighborhood. Oh, sweetie–you’re back.

Drive-in Dan: Yes. Where are you?

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: I was just about to talk about “garbage day.“

Drive-in Dan: Oh, O.K. So, anyhow, Ricky goes around shooting people like he’s at the O.K. Corral, including a guy putting out his trash. But before Ricky offs him, he (and his eyebrows) deliver the classic line, “Garbage day!“ This is probably the best-known scene from the movie. Heck, it’s the only known scene from the movie.

So, back to real time in the jail, the psychiatrist Ricky was talking to is dead as a dodo, slumped over the tape recorder, and Ricky is gone. He has one more ax to grind…with Mother Superior. Mother Superior we learn had a stroke, is retired, and living alone. Of course. She is confined to a wheelchair, and has some nasty boils on her face. What the heck kind of stroke did she have? Yikes! She looks like she got on the wrong end of an exorcism.

Of course Ricky finds her place with no problem, and naturally her house has the weakest doors known to man. Wet tissue paper would have put up more of a fight. He hacks his way in in no time…

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Oh, sweetie, this is the part with the flying nun!

Drive-in Dan: What?

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: This is the part where Ricky gets into her house and Mother Superior pulls a “Flying Nun” routine to get upstairs in the blink of an eye. She must have flown, because not even an able-bodied person can get upstairs that fast.

Drive-in Dan: Yes, dear, you’re right. This is the part. Anyway, Mother Superior is now upstairs and has barricaded herself in one of the rooms. Somehow, she is able to move a fairly solid and heavy piece of furniture–remember, she’s in a wheelchair–to keep Ricky out even more. But he hacks through that wimpy door, too, and Mother Superior goes wheeling around the upstairs, and flies down the stairs (well, actually she falls when Ricky pushes her, but she gets down quick!). The cops and Sister Mary pull up outside and Sister Mary goes inside and finds Mother Superior at the dining table. But she won’t respond, and as Sister Mary touches her to snap her out of it, Mother Superior’s head rolls off and hits the floor. But there’s no blood. Not only did Ricky execute a precise surgical cut even though he swung the ax overtop her head like he was about to chop some kindling but he also cauterized the wound too. What a swell job! Sister Mary faints, hits the floor, and the cops shoot Ricky outside.

They couldn’t even end the film with a newly-shot scene. Now, granted, the shot they did use was more effective in this movie than in the original, but they still lifted it from a dream sequence in the first film. Sister Mary comes to, and when she opens her eyes, the severed head is right next to her on the floor, and she screams. This causes Ricky to open his eyes. I guess all those gunshots weren’t that serious after all. Or maybe he deflected the bullets with eyebrows. Who knows what happened? But it looks like he’ll be back for another sequel.

The writers were actually proud of the fact that they banged the script out in about as long as it would take to watch a mini “Law & Order” marathon. And that apparently meant they didn’t pay much attention to continuity. In this film, we learn that the Santa shot at the orphanage in “Silent Night Deadly Night” wasn’t Father O’Brien, but old man Kelsey, the janitor. That’s quite a difference. The janitor instead of the priest? Oh, and then there’s the part where Ricky as a little baby remembers the night Killer Santa murder his parents even though he was so young he couldn’t tell the difference between topsoil and strained carrots. Man, you gotta love shoddy writing and directing. Well, at least they got the part about him being deaf right.

Michael Armstrong does create a really creepy snyth-tastic score. And makeup effects artist, Christopher Biggs (“A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child”), manages to pull off some impressive-looking makeup effects even though the movie had a tiny budget and a really short shooting schedule (10 days). But a couple of positive things can’t save this “sequel” from making my Top 10 Worst Movies of All Time. This movie really should have been called “Silent, but Deadly” because it’s a real stinker.

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Honey, speaking of stinkers, did you break wind?

Drive-in Dan: No.

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: Goodness, what IS that awful smell?

Drive-in: Yikes! It just hit me. It smells like a Sumo Wrestler took a dump on a burning tire.

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: OH, MY COOKIES! My Christmas cookies! Now, look what you’ve gone and made me do–I’ve gone and burned my cookies!

Drive-in Dan: Woman, how is this my fault? You’re the one who has to go and bake…

Mrs. Drive-in Dan: I’ve gotta run, everybody! My cookies are burning! Happy holidays, y’all! Dan, get the fire extinguisher! I know it’s not a real Christmas until it’s a fire hazard, but that’s supposed to be with LIGHTS, not cookies! Jiminy Pete… We’ll see you next year, everyone! Dan! Get in her with that fire extinguisher; we have a SITUATION here!

roadside attractions

  • 1 impaling by umbrella
  • 1 electrocution via jumper cables
  • 1 strangulation by car antenna
  • 1 exploding car
  • Random people are shot with a handgun
  • Attack of the flashback
  • Extreme wheelchairing
  • Boobies in distress
  • 40+ minutes of recycled footage
  • Eyebrows gone wild



Not a lot of the red stuff. I’ve seen more blood when I nick my face shaving.



5 boobies in peril and a whole lot of random skin. We give this section a negative rating because we don’t like seeing boobies in violent situations.



Six if you count the flashbacks from the first movie and Mother Superior


Check out the trailer for “Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2”



posted by admin | November 27, 2010 | 80's movies, Action, foreign, Review by Barry Goodall, Sci-Fi

Comments Off on “Lady Terminator” Rest Stop Review Edition

Lady Terminator

It's a 5 gun salute of b-movie cheese.

The queen of the ocean has been snagging and bagging guys back in her indonesian castle. Of course, no man can satisfy her so she kills them all mid-act by chomping off their twig and berries. Her years on the thigh master finally paying off. A former scandnavian weight trainer shows up to try to satisfy her but after a long night of ardvarking he removes a snake from between her legs that turns into a dagger thus vanquishing her to the ocean for 100 years. I think that’s same sex ed video they showed in catholic school. She vows she’ll return for revenge on his great granddaughter but only if she’s a Sheena Easton wanna-be in leg warmers. As luck would have it, a 100 years later it’s the 80’s and a self proclaimed anthropologist Tania (Barabara Ann Constalbe) is researching ocean queenology. Sadly it’s her college major and she has a paper due. She finds a books from a creepy old Mr. Miyagee that tells her the location of the dagger is just off the coast so they set out for scuba diving and some boatside swimsuit modeling. The boat is wiped out by a surprised tidal wave and she is held captive in a secret underwater cave by a frisky Craftmatic mattress until she posseseed by a snake eel. The worse first date ever.

She emerges nude from the ocean as the newly crowned queen demon but now with built in eye lazers and a hunger for blood. She bags a few beach bums and tasers them just before trading her thigh master in for some leather pants and a machine gun. Tani-terminator goes on a murderous killing spree wiping out just about everybody. Erica (Claudia Angelique Rademaker) is the bad pop singer she’s been trying to kill that’s been wearing her magic amulet. Fortunately for Erica the ocean queen has bad aim and walks pretty slow due to restrictive hot pants. A dimwitted cop tries to protect her from her  spandex driv-e bys but ends up getting most of the police force and some mall walkers wiped out instead.

Plenty of 3B’s and yup even nudity  in this one, which is surprising for a movie out of indonesia. Guys there are more likely to get excited seeing exposed ankles. Roadside Attractions:  Multiple shagging deaths, electric eyeball tasers, car crash and burns, helicopter explosion, road rage, eye popping, cop tossing, death by shopping, burnt bimbo netting. Retroman says hunt down a copy and don’t forget to wear your hot pants.

“Jack and I have seen more dead bodies then you have hot dogs so shut up and eat!”



Looking for hard to find cult movies and unreleased DVD’s of some vintage b-movies then check out They provide many of the movies we review here at the site and will give you a great price on whatever film you’re trying to track down.


Comments Off on “Humanoids from the Deep”

humanoids from the deep

“Humanoids from the Deep” or when “good fish go bad” is your typical story of goldfish meets girl, goldfish falls in love , girl harpoons fish ending a short torrid affair. Get Rob Reiner to direct and throw in Matthew McConaughey as the misunderstood gill man and you’ve got yourself a blockbuster.

The town of  Noyo is just about to open a cannery despite the rash of recent dog homicides and the protests of a lone Indian, Johnny Eagle. After a long speech about littering, a very drunk Slattery (Vic Morrow) shows up to give Johnny and his dimwitted friend Tommy a smack down at the town dance. humanoids from the deepHe also follows them to a secret tribal meeting about stopping the cannery and putting up casinos as far as the eye can see. This infuriates Slattery, so he and his goons do a boat-by Molotov cocktail bombing just as someone inexplicably yells out “cornbread!” Yes cornbread, the source of all tribal hostilities since 1872.

A slimy sea creature crashes the party killing anybody not wearing a plaid shirt in a sailor vest. Then it hitches a ride on a pickup truck that goes Kamikaze off the side of a bridge exploding into a ball of flames. Free fish fillets for everyone.

Soon even more fish men are roaming the neighborhoods peeking in windows and stalking potential shower victims. Kids on the beach start showing up dead or getting assaulted by slimy mutants with Gordon fish sticks despite spring break still being months away. A stunned ventriloquist dummy is the only survivor, but he ain’t talking.

Dr. Susan Drake arrives in town after discovering her genetic salmon experiment maybe causing all the ruckus. She’s not only a renowned fish scientist, avid photographer but also holds the state record for eating the most clam chowder.  Susan takes provocative  pictures of skeletons in funny poses and gives a power point presentation on how the slime ball mutants are just genetically altered tadpoles that ate bad seafood. Johnny, Susan and Jim (Doug McClure) take out a fishing charter to try to hook some of the deep sea mutants to study back at the lab. They find a whole school of them sunbathing on the beach doing their best Joe Cocker impersonations. With fish rifles in tow they wipe them out pretty quickly,(it’s just like shooting fish in a barrel) and discover one of the surviving girls resting in a nice seaweed spa wrap. She’s also just been impregnated with one of the mutant fish spawns giving whole new meaning to the phrase “the seafood lover in you.”

humanoids from the deepEveryone heads to the salmon fish festival that night which of course turns into a bloody massacre. Hordes of horny fish men show up killing town folks, knocking over corn dog stands and basically ruining a perfectly good night of polka music. Still, despite all the maiming and mutant assaults it’s still a pretty tame party as far as New England fish festivals go. Nobody even got shanked for a halibut.

Susan figures the best way of getting rid of the fish men is to deep broil them with some zesty lemon seasoning so she douses everything with gasoline and torches it up with a flame thrower. It kills all the fish men and in the process destroys most of the docks and the towns fishing industry…. but the smell is delicious.

Roger Corman continues his winning streak of making b-movies that give us plenty of beasts, breasts, and blood. He even throws in a subplot about industrial espionage just for a distraction between all the bouncing beach melons and mutant shagging. Retroman says “go fish” but be sure to leave your ventriloquist dummy at home. They’re well known to attract mutants.

roadside attractions

  • Flammable fish fillets
  • Seaweed breasts
  • Amish boat drivers
  • Face-chowing, extreme plaid
  • Monster-beach bingo
  • Shisk-a-dogs
  • Hawaiian shirt-fu
  • Exploding boats
  • Horny fishmen
  • Emergency mutant c-sections



Fountains of it, gushing like an oil well in the 1850’s.



Shoot I lost count. It was hard to keep up. I guess I’ll have to watch it again.



More horny mutants than a frat house during rush week.


“Visit Noyo, a nice place to visit but don’t bring your poodle!”

Check out the trailer for “Humanoids from the Deep”



Comments Off on 10 Best Shriek-tracks for Halloween

There was a time not that long ago when soundtracks in horror movies actually played an important role and were treated like major characters. Each score had its own distinct personality and complemented all of the onscreen action. In slasher films usually, a series of well-placed sound cues from an orchestra or a pulsating synth rhythm would signal the killer is close by, or that the victim is about to triumph over his or her attacker. What you saw on screen and heard both worked together to create the desired thrills and chills. But sadly, not the same can be said about the majority of soulless “film scores” being churned out today. The current crop of horror composers aim for cheap scares by using loud, random noises to get a reaction out of the audience. There isn’t any kind of build-up to create tension or a feeling of dread in horror films of the new millennium, just musical punch lines that arrive way too soon and don’t end up paying off for the audience. Instead of having memorable themes like “The Shape Stalks” from “Halloween” or the “Main Title” from “Jaws” that made your heart race the first time you heard them, “music” in recent horror movies has been replaced by generic, headache-inducing distractions that totally take you out of the movie experience.

But don’t worry, Ghouls and Ghoulettes. We have put together a list of classic horror soundtracks from different eras (when movie music still mattered) that are guaranteed to make your Halloween party festive and extra creepy this year.

1. Trick ‘r Treat

Douglas Pipes (“Monster House“) delivers a surprisingly creepy film score that, along with the film, perfectly captures the spirit of Halloween. At times his composing style will remind you of the late composers, Jerry Goldsmith and Bernard Herrmann. The whole soundtrack is overflowing with eerie goodness, but standout tracks are “Main Titles”, “To The Quarry”, and “Pumpkin Shooter/Meet Sam.”

2. Damien: Omen II

This soundtrack can easily be considered one of composer Jerry Goldsmith’s masterpieces. With each track you can hear the forthcoming sense of doom that is simmering just beneath the surface. His mixture of dark mass chants and startling electronic sound effects would make even Jason Voorhees cry for his mommy.

3. Creepshow

As far as horror movie anthologies are concerned, “Creepshow” is one on the best. And John Harrison’s spooky film score has one of the best opening tracks that I’ve ever heard on a horror soundtrack. Listening to each track will make you feel like you are watching the movie all over again. The CD features previously unreleased music from “Mansions of the Moon“, “Shoobie Doobie Moon“, as well as some music from the “Tales from the Darkside” TV show.

4. Psycho (1960)

Another personal favorite soundtrack of mine. Bernard Herrmann composed this iconic score which has sent a collective shiver down the spines of fans spanning many generations. The stabbing string section on the track “Prelude” still cuts just as deep today, even though the music is almost 50 years old. Now let me go, because I think I hear “Mother” calling me.

5. Hellraiser

Christopher Young’s spine-tingling masterwork is the perfect compliment to Clive Barker’s nightmarish directorial debut. Young has created a score that features some of the most hauntingly beautiful music that I’ve ever heard in a horror movie. I couldn’t imagine watching “Hellraiser” without hearing his music.

6. Tenebre

You can’t have a top ten horror soundtrack list without including Italian Prog Rock band, Goblin, which has consistently composed some of the most unique sounding and memorable music for horror movies. At the request of director Dario Argento, three of the four original members from Goblin reunited to create a hypnotic and energetic score filled with enough up-tempo tracks that will surely have any wallflowers at your party cutting a rug.

7. Phantasm

This is another movie that just wouldn’t have the same impact if it had different music. Composing duo Fred Myrow and Malcom Seagrave collaborated to create my all-time favorite movie soundtrack that perfectly frames Reggie’s and Mike’s life-or-death struggle against the evil Tall Man.

8. Dawn of the Dead (1978)

Goblin creates another wildly inventive score using a variety of instruments and sound effects for Romero’s fan favorite zombie film. When you hear the tortured moans of the undead on track 2, “Zombi”, you’ll want to quickly lock all of your doors and board up every window to protect yourself from the coming zombie invasion.

9. The Amityville Horror (1979)

Nominated for an Academy Award, master composer Lao Shiffrin’s soundtrack is the scariest part of the movie. Without his pulse-pounding music, “Amityville Horror” would’ve been even more of a snoozer.

10. The Thing

If after listening to this score you mistakenly thought John Carpenter did the music, don’t beat yourself up too much. Because just like how the parasitic alien in the movie was able to imitate other life forms, composer Enio Morricone masterfully emulated Carpenter’s distinct style when he created this bleak, minimalist soundtrack that will chill you to the bone.


Comments Off on Maximum Overdrive

maximum overdrive“Maximum Overdrive” is arguably the best machines taking over the world movie ever made that doesn’t involved a Californian Governor and Edward Furlong. This was Stephen King’s directorial debut in what amounts to a 90 minute AC/DC video of vehicular homocide and killer Sony walkmans. Fortunately it does have Pat Hingle blowing crap up with a rocket launcher and plenty of grease stained shirts.

When the Earth passes through a radioactive comet, it’s space mojo crop dusts the planet causing all the machines to turn homocidal. ATM’S swear at bank patrons, lawn mowers starting mulching gardeners and Walkman fry out teen listening to Petshop Boys. (Which would have happened eventually anyways.) After a draw bridge nearly wipes out the nation’s watermelon crop, a little league game is interrupted by a runaway steam roller and a pop machine that snipes players with jet propelled soda cans. Luckily, one of the kids Deke (Holter Graham) can dodge them like a caffeinated spider monkey and escapes on his dirt bike.

Maximum OverdriveAcross town at a Dixie truckstop where most of the patrons still don’t realize the south lost, waitresses are getting attacked by kitchen utensils and arcade games are electocuting customers. But their homemade strudel pie there is still delicious. Emilio Estevez plays Billy, a parole fry cook who when he isn’t shacking up with hitchhiker hotties, he’s spouting alien conspiracy theories about intergallactic brooms. They’re all being held hostage by a pack of psycho semi trucks circling the building liked indians around a covered train. The convoy is  led by a creepy green goblin semi whose got a thirst for unleaded blood and forces the survivors to pump gas all day for all his 18 wheeled buddies. Later that day, the most annoying newlywed couple ever to drive a 4-door crash through the semi line by doing an evil kinvel stunt flip crashing their car. The driver, Curtis, escapes but Connie is caught by her seat belt, her shrill whining voice is her only defense.  Sadly she’s cut free  just before it gets side swiped by a evil tow truck. Later that night, Emilio and Curtis attempt to rescue a injured bible salesman whose been screaming out in the ditch all night keeping everyone  from a good night’s sleep. They make their way through the sewer ducts to get to him but then Deke shows up on his dirt bike and they pretty much forget about the poor sap stuck in the mud. They all head back to the diner where Mr. Hendershot, the redneck business owner, is discovered hiding a huge militia stockpile of weapons in the basement. This gives everyone a chance to shoot machine guns and use rocket launchers near flammable gas pumps, a pyromaniac’s dream come true. maximum overdrive

After blowing up a few semis and roving artillery carts, the survivors duck back through the tunnels just as all the trucks decide to finally demolish the place and put up a Walmart. Everyone heads toward the boat docks for a final showdown with a drive thru speaker who Deke uses for some quick target practice. “No, I wouldn’t like fries with that!” KAAABLAM! Billy blows up the green semi with a rocket launcher just for kicks. Despite most of their friends and family dying horrifiying deaths, they’re all in pretty good moods as they set off on a boat trip to some uncharted island. Maybe they’ll build huts out of bambo while singing kumbya and then make a radio out of coconuts. Don’t want to miss a second of that all AC/DC channel.

A mega-cheese award goes to Ellen McElduff who plays a boozin’ waitress that scretches out  “You can’t do this! We made you!” just before she gets gunned down in a blaze of glory. Also  to Yeardley Smith who plays the high pitched Connie and does voice of Maggie Simpson. She does more for preventive eloping than Lorena Bobbitt. Retroman Steve says take “Maximum Overdrive” for a test drive and be sure to stock up on beef jerky and puffy hats with filthy sayings.

roadside attractions

  • Watermelon crushing
  • Pop machine head smashing
  • Electric knife wrist attacks
  • Gas pump-fu
  • Video game electrocution
  • Soda pop batting cages
  • Little league steamrolling
  • Continuous AC/DC
  • Wall-o-porn
  • Grill scraping
  • Estevez-estravanganza
  • bathroom flatulance


blood BLOOD

Who knew recalled vehicles could do this much bodily damage



There’s rumors of breasts somewhere in this film, but heck if I could see them. Usually that would be hard to miss.


beast BEASTS

Lots of metallic beasts running on unleaded evil. Oh and 1 Stephen King.



Check out the trailer for “Maximum Overdrive”


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