Archive for the 'B-movies' Category

May

posted by Die-Anne Takillya | May 7, 2013 | B-movie Reviews, B-movies, Review by Die-Anne Takillya

Comments Off on Cinema Wasteland and Blood Orgy

Blood OrgyOn April 5-7, 2013, I invaded Strongsville, Ohio for Cinema Wasteland, and had an absolute blast! I got to spend time with all the Wasteland family, and got to meet one of my true heroines, Brinke Stevens. There was a Slumber Party Massacre reunion with a screening and a panel with cast and crew, 42nd Street Pete had a great talk with Gary Kent, A. Ghastlee Ghoul’s Ghastlee Night at the Movies, Tom Sullivan’s Evil Dead museum, and so much more; but the true highlight of my weekend was going to the screening of Blood Orgy at Beaver Lake with the crew from Silver Bullet Pictures and Troma.

The movie began with a warning, followed by one of the best animated credit sequences I have ever seen, and just about the best theme song in the world. You know from the jump that you are going to see plenty of the 3 B’s.


Blood Orgy

So the flick opens with two of Mr. Delicious’ lady-goons, Joey and Taffy, on the way to Dr. Bung’s laboratory to see if he has finished making the new street drug for them to sell. Dr. Bung and his assistant, Larry are hard at work, because the new drug: Sextacy 69 (A mix of Cocaine, Ecstacy, and Viagra) isn’t quite ready.


They show the ladies a video showing the day that Scott Baio, the test monkey is given a dose, and he goes… well… bananas, and ends up violently… loving Larry’s face, which why he’s in a neck brace.


It hasn’t been tested on humans yet, but the goons force a dose into him, because Mr. D is tired of waiting on his drug.

Blood Orgy

Dr Bung turns into a sex-crazed zombie, complete with a gigantic… er… appendage, and kills Larry the only way a sex-crazed zombie with a gigantic appendage knows how kill a man, if you know what I mean, and I think you do. The goons shoot Dr. Bung and the reanimated Larry, then decide to get rid of the bodies.


They tell Mr. D that Dr. Bung and Larry have run off with his merchandise to Beaver Lake. (In this scene, you’ll see Troma’s very own Lloyd Kaufman as newscaster Harry Ballsonya, reporting on the escapades of the dreaded “Chicken Clucker.”) They decide to go ahead and dump the barrel holding what’s left of the doctor and his unfortunate assistant in Beaver Lake.

Then we cut to a car full of happy campers (Dick, Candy, Peter, Mandy, and Bertha) on their way to a weekend of fun and sun at Beaver Lake. They  ignore the warnings of the wise old man, and continue on their way.

They meet up with their stoner friends, Jerry and Terry, at the ol’ camper and scare away a beaver. They have a happy little renunion; but they’re being spied on by a couple of the hillbilly locals, Cleetus and Clem, who plan on joining the party uninvited. Cleetus is the one with the brains, and tells Clem to get lost and let him watch the fillies, so he sits down and has a strange fantasy where he marries the Destructo Ducko, the centerfold from Quackwhore Magazine. I’ll not spoil what happens for you. That’s a gift for you.

The goons have to stop for directions on the way to Beaver Lake, (Which they get from a feller named ‘Stinky Thumbs.’ I’ll let you get the full effect of that), and bananas for their daquiris, but Taffy doesn’t latch the hatchback when they leave, and the barrel full of Dr. Bung, Larry, and the Sextacy 69 rolls out the back of the truck and into the woods.

The party is rocking at Beaver Lake, everybody’s dancing and getting high; playing volleyball and cavorting around the Beaver Lake park. All seems right with the world… for now. They go back to the camper, toasting and reminiscing. Somebody spills a drink on Mandy, and it’s time for a gratuitous shower scene, complete with peeping hillbilly Clem touching himself in a way that requires confession. He makes a little too much noise, and she almost catches him. He runs into the woods to his still, where we find that Cletus is not happy with the latest batch of moonshine.

Our friend, the Beaver, has found the barrel of goo and starts to eat it, whereupon it has the same effect that it had on Scott Baio. Namely, boooiiiinnnngggg! This makes Cletus notice the barrel, and he tastes it, too! Cleetus and Clem add the goo to their ‘shine, and are thrilled with the results.


They decide to take it home to momma, but on the way, the chemicals start to take effect. Cletus and Clem don’t look too good, and they warn Momma not to drink too much, but she guzzles a snoot-full. It turns her into a smoke-farting sex-monster who does unholy things with a turkey leg, and I’ll tell you good people right now, you will see something that will make you scream out loud in terror and joy. After Momma slings her love-slime all over the place, the boys leave in search of some ladies of their own.


Meanwhile, Joey and Taffy find that Beaver snacking on the remnants of the Sextacy 69, and shoo him off, following the trail to Cletus and Clem’s house.


By now, the tainted ‘shine has fully taken ahold of Cleetus and Clem, and they attack two topless joggers, spreading the sex-madness further around Beaver Lake. Poor Bertha goes for a late night swim, and is beset upon by our randy pair of rednecks, who behead her, and perform fenal acts upon her remains.


Joey and Taffy find the barrell at momma’s house, and go inside, where Momma has been abusing herself with the ‘drilldo.’ If you have to ask what that is, you’ll never know. They ventilate her tumescent zombie hide.


Dick and Candy have been searching for Bertha by the lake, and they get attacked by one of the topless zombie joggers, and bite the… dust. Or get bitten by it. At least, Dick gets something bitten off. Whatever. Keep watching.


Jerry and Terry are staying at the camper in case Bertha comes back, but they’re taken out. Jerry’s head gets squashed like a 2-week old cantaloupe, and Terry gets eaten. Things have just got cray-cray.


Dick has shuffled his way to Momma’s cabin, and attacks the goonettes. Taffy gets bitten before Joey can shoot him, and they run from the hoarde of hot-to-trot zombies. They run into Peter and Mandy, who are enjoying nature (wink-wink), and then they all run to a cabin and lock themselves inside. They’re down to four bullets, and Joey has to use one to dispatch Taffy after she turns.


All the sexified zombies have surrounded them, and it looks like everyone is about to get bitten and bangulated. All of a sudden, our Beaver pal is outside and drinks a snoot-full of the tainted ‘shine, and morphs into a man-sized beaver with a gigantic appendage of his own. He was so ready to rock, they could have called him Axl.


Everyone goes outside the cabin, and the Beaver… well… um, let’s say Gallagher has nothing on this fella. His… um… beaver gravy (can I say that? Beaver gravy?) melts the zombies, and saves the day, walking off into the moonlight.


I have to tell you, I stood up and cheered at the end of this movie. I had the pleasure of sitting in front of the writer/director, Mike Hartman, and got to share an adult beverage with him and several other folks involved in this beautiful picture.


Drive-In Totals:

Blood: Gallons, just like you’d expect. Not like Niagra Falls, but a good, healthy amount of blood.

Breasts: 25. God Bless America.

Beasts: Scott Baio, Dr. Bung’s Appendage, Stinky Thumbs, Cletus, Clem, Momma, Chicken Clucker, 2 Topless Zombie Joggers, Zombie Dick, Zombie Candy, Zombie Terry, and of course, the Beaver. Dear Lord, the Beaver.

Science-fu, Monkey-Fu, Beaver-fu, Chicken clucking, People making the sign of the epileptic wombat all over the place, heads roll, appendages roll, and the second-highest breast count I’ve seen since Black Candles. There is nothing socially redeeming in this movie, and no lessons learned. Scott Baio was not harmed during the making of this movie.

Check out the trailer for “Blood Orgy”

trailers

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Apr

Comments Off on Fondue

Fondue

I don’t understand all this hate for Canada. I’ve been there a few times and it’s a nice, quiet place and I always have a good time. After all, they have given us wonderful things like Bacon, Rush and poutine. Well now I would like to add another thing to that list: The films of young filmmaker Torin Langen. Usually when we think of Canadian films, The Final Sacrifice comes to mind, but I’m here to erase that memory from your mind and fill it with a pleasant one.

This memory in particular is a short I was fortunate enough to see entitled Fondue from Candle Flame Films. I wasn’t sure what Fondue was about, but having seen some of Torin’s previous work, such as Trash, I was pretty excited to view this. And let me tell you… I was blown away.

The film starts off with a young woman sitting quietly by herself on sidewalk of a busy city. A young man comes to meet her and the two frolic off to a department store where they pick up some creepy masks and some cheerful looking pumpkin buckets for Trick or Treating, giving you the indication that it’s probably for Halloween. However, the streets seem to be lacking any children, dressed as ghouls or goblins out and about haggling for candy door to door. It’s here that the pair dons there masks and walk side by side down some railroad tracks as they mark their hands with an ‘F’. They make their way to a house that looks like it should be in a Rob Zombie film as they bump into another young woman, also in a mask holding a bucket, as she is skipping away from the house. The three stare at each other for a moment and it’s at this moment when you realize how quiet the town seems and that something terrible could happen at any moment. The young girl just scoots pass them as they make their way up to the door.

Once at the house, someone in a mask invites the girl in as the boy waits outside. The interior of the house, desperately needing some interior decoration (maybe someone should call the guys from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition). The girl is instructed to go upstairs after being handed an intense looking knife, hooked and bearing teeth similar to a saw. Once upstairs, she hesitates for a moment and stands in a doorway, very reminiscent of slasher villains Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers. Then we see what she was staring at: A young man, bound and gagged in a rusted, filthy bathtub, hooked up to some homemade IV. She advances with the knife and the film reveals its true nature.

Fondue was truly unnerving for the right reasons. For starters, the film’s muted color bring out the grey sky, the orange and brown of the dead leaves and the dried blood red house make you feel uncomfortable in your own surroundings, leaving you with a sense of dread that you are in constant danger. The only time we see the characters faces is at the beginning. These kids look innocent and harmless, but once they don their monster masks, which seem to fit their faces and personality, they turn into soulless beings capable of macabre things. Fondue is also void of any dialogue and the actors are forced to show emotion through masks, which is no easy task when no one speaks and is hiding their faces, but their eyes, peering beyond the masks (especially actress Raven Cousens) shakes you to your core.

Aside from the wind whipping dead tree branches, the sound or gravel and hardwood floors beneath their shoes and the occasional passing train, Fondue’s only soundtrack are very rusty guitar strings, reminding me of Neil Young, matches the tone, both visually and viscerally.

Overall, the film was an eerie experience and had sort of a Jim Jarmusch vibe to it, mixed with a little bit of Hitchcock tension. Fondue is respectually getting the recognition it deserves and turning heads (and stomachs) at film festivals all over. Keep your eye for this one and on the director/writer Torin Langen. That kid is going places, I tell ya.

roadside attractions

  • Monster Mask Mania
  • Homemade IV Goodness
  • Fondue Dipping Fun
totals

8

blood

BLOOD

Everyone, everything… except the dude in the tub.

7

blood

BREASTS

If you count that one boob in the bathtub.

9

beast

BEASTS

Everyone, everything… except the dude in the tub.

8.1 OVERALL
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Check out the trailer for “Fondue”

trailers

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Mar

Comments Off on Tremors (1990)

Tremors

If there’s one thing in America that we know how to do right it’s to make things bigger. Double Cheeseburger? Sure only if you’re a communist. We take our burgers with triple meat patties, bacon and a fried egg thank you very much. Grocery shopping? That should always require a forklift and a back brace. We buy our mayonnaise in 50 gallon, bathe in big gulps and  toss dwarfs just for fun. Huge is the American way. Let the Europeans make tiny furniture if they want to. We’ll take the Lazy Boy with the built in fridge that can seat 20. Sure, we might not have the smartest kids in the world but they will be the biggest and they will sit on anyone that oppose us. Heck yeah ‘Merica!

TremorsSpeaking of super sizing, some giant man-eating worms are trying to eat Kevin Bacon and Fred Ward, and only the dad from Family Ties and his 100 pounds of TNT can stop em’.  Somewhere out in the desert a small town has been having problems with sheep mutilations, backed up sewage and a rapid outbreak of guys stranded on telephone polls. Valentine (Kevin Bacon) and Earl (Fred Willard) are the local handymen who get a gooey sock puppet stuck to their pickup truck when they’re sent to investigate. Turns out it’s from an underground worms (or graboids as the locals call them) which are attracted to noise and constant bickering which Valentine and Earl do plenty of. They’re just like your mom and dad except with more drinking. The handymen are set out on horseback to try to get help before the worms swallow the whole town up and nobody notices.

Out in the desert the horses get worminated and Valentine and Earl have to high jump over an aqueduct just as  a mutant nightcrawler smashes it’s noggin into a concrete barrier. The resident hottie seismologist shows up and teaches them to pole vault across rocks so they don’t become worm food. It’s sure lucky those Olympic gymnastics left all their practice equipment behind. Then they all high tail it back to town with the graboids in hot pursuit and hang out on the grocery store roof and yell at each other.

Meanwhile, the Jumanji girl gets nearly eaten while playing on a pogo stick and Reba McEntire and Michael Gross blast a graboid in their rec-room with enough firepower to defeat North Korea. They’re quickly outnumbered so Valentine uses a lawn mower as a decoy and  they all load up in the back of a semi that he drives behind a bulldozer towards the mountains. It sounds a lot like the end of the Sound of Music except with less nazis.The graboids set a booby trap for the truck and the town folk get stuck on a rock where they start worm fishing with dynamite in hopes to escape. It’s effective but messy. The last worm smartens up and refuses to take the bait but chases Valentine towards a cliff crashing into a gooey mess onto the rocks below. Valentine does a footloose punch dance in a grain silo and saves the town from a life without rock n’ roll. Oh wait…that was another movie. Anyways, Barry Goodall says to give “Tremors” a shake. You’ll get a little more joy out of baiting your fishing hook next time.

and before you might decide on something else to watch, remember  that Reba Macantire is watching you, always. She’s like a red headed country music ninja santa.

roadside attractions

  • excessive rock,paper, scissors
  • pogo sticking
  • multiple pee breaks
  • moron kid stuck on outhouse
  • explosion fishing
  • septic tank-fu
  • Reba McEntire-fu
  • 6 degrees of Bacon
  • worm drilling
  • rock pole vaulting
totals

6

blood

BLOOD

Sheep guts, drilling graboids, multiple worm explosions and worm shrapnel. Multiple graboid snacking on town folk.

0

blood

BREASTS

Nadda Ta-ta.

8

beast

BEASTS

So many worms you’d think it was a redneck bait shop.

9.7 OVERALL
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Check out this trailer for “Tremors”

trailers

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Mar

posted by Barry Goodall | March 18, 2013 | 50's b-movies, B-movie Reviews, B-movies, Guest Review, Sci-Fi

Comments Off on Killers from Space (a Guest Review by Blake Lindsey)

Killers from Space

Like many of my favorite B-films, Killers from Space is vintage sci-fi. Directed by W. Lee Wilder (aka “The Other Wilder,” legendary director Billy Wilder’s older and less talented brother), written by his son Myles Wilder, and starring a young Peter Graves and the babely Barbara Bestar, the film is a classic “alien invader’s evil plan” flick.
Killers is straight out of the Ed Wood school of film-making: bad modeling, cheesy sets, and over 10 mins. total of stock footage, mostly from early 50s US military sources. It has its charms though, not the least of which is faithfully reflecting its era: cigarette vending machines in the hallways of a hospital; period language (the observation planes during the A-bomb test are designated “Tarbaby 1,” “Tarbaby 2,” etc.); frequent visual references to then-President Eisenhower and the American flag, and even the presence of one of Mr. Hoover’s steely-eyed “G-men.” No atheistic, closet Hollywood Commies made this picture, by God!

Killers from SpaceDuring an atomic bomb test (cleverly code-named “Operation A-Bomb Test”), the observation plane carrying Dr. Douglas Martin (Peter Graves) is pulled down by a mysterious light on the desert floor. Everyone assumes he died in the crash until he shows up a few days later, wandering weak and disoriented around base with a new (but completely healed) scar on his chest. He is subsequently released from the hospital after his identity is confirmed by G-Man Briggs (Steve Pendleton), but he is put on medical leave for the time being, all the while having disturbing visions of eyes. After incidents of odd behavior noticed by friends and his wife, Ellen (Barbara Bestar), and then some treasonous but very amateurish espionage (he left the Classified Information vault door open when he left—really), he flees but is captured and fed sodium amytal (“truth serum”) and it is revealed that he has been hypnotized by aliens residing in caverns under the desert floor not far from the test site. According to the aliens, he died in the crash and they recovered his body, installing a new heart (hence the unexplained scar). He is the only one who believes this, of course, the others suspecting insanity on his part.

Killers from SpaceThe aliens (I call them “Feldmanites”) came to Earth via a “electron bridge” to annihilate its current biosphere and start from scratch. Their own sun is dying, and although they waged genocidal invasions against their own neighboring planets to escape the doom of their home world—Astron Delta— it is not enough. They need Earth for their 1 billion population, and they need to clear its biosphere before taking over (the fact that they are creating a dead planet in order to escape their own dead planet is not explored in the film). They have been collecting and storing electrons from the US government’s A-bomb tests, holding “several billion electron volts” in “nucleo-storage units” to achieve this goal, but their power grid is dangerously overloaded as they have been siphoning electricity from the local power station. The Feldmanites have also been breeding giant mutated insects and reptiles for their “ethnic cleansing” campaign, as we know because the film spends almost 4 minutes of filler time showing us over and over again accompanied by bad audio effects.

Fortunately for our species, Martin figures out that he can foil the Feldmanites’ evil scheme by simply shutting down the power grid at the generating plant for a few seconds, thus releasing all of their stored “electrons” in an unscheduled A-bomb test of his own—death by circuit-breaker. His plan succeeds after some sleepy action scenes at a power plant, and the film closes (appropriately) with stock footage of an atomic bomb exploding as the “nucleo-storage” batteries go.
While this film is low on the 3-B scale and has a plot with some astonishing inconsistencies, it’s very entertaining with its obvious eye fetish and a great period piece if you enjoy early-50s schlock.

roadside attractions

  • Historical stock footage
  • We Like Ike
  • Eye fetishists
totals

-2

blood

BLOOD

I’ve seen more gore in a Disney film; there’s not even a shooting.

0

blood

BREASTS

We don’t get to see the bestar of Barbara, alas; this was the early 50’s when decent, red-blooded Americans didn’t have sex or even drop a button or two

3

beast

BEASTS

Giant mutated insects and lizards; aliens with Marty Feldman’s DNA pattern

1.0 OVERALL
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Check out this trailer for “Killers From Space”

trailers

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Mar

Comments Off on Sexsquatch

There are some films you shouldn’t take so seriously. I shouldn’t have to tell you which films these are, but Sexsquatch… not one of them, believe it or not. When you first hear the title, you may think it’s a low budget porn spoof of some kind and you would be halfway right. It is low budget, but the other half is a comedic blend of horror and toilet humor and let me tell you something: This kind of blend goes down smooth right to the last drop.

Sexsquatch, brought to you by SRS Cinema, starts off with a Sasquatch pun-filled narration from the Warlock (for those of you familiar with Warlock Home Video) who promises us, “We haven’t seen nothing yeti!” which is a perfect description to set the tone. For those of you who have seen writer/director Chris Seaver’s previous work, which includes Terror at Blood Fart Lake, you know what you’re in for. For those of you who haven’t… strap in.

The movie begins with a meteor crashing into Earth, interrupting a couple (one of which is rocking a Fright Rags’ Silent Night, Deadly Night tee!) planning to fornicate. Always seems to be the case, doesn’t it? Just as about he’s going to show her why they call him ‘Johnny Longbone’ (a possible MST3K reference), Sexsquatch appears, mumbling “butthole” and kills them. We are only about two minutes into this movie and I already love it.

Cut to the squinty eyed Skippy, a donut obsessed young man who talks kind of like Robert DeNiro and sort of looks like Butthead, who is bringing his pal, and presumably life partners Leo and Crystal some of said donuts. After interrupting some baby making, the three talk about throwing a party for their pal Joey, who unfortunately has never been laid. You see, Joey is the ‘edu-ma-cated’ one of the bunch and has hopes and dreams of one day becoming the president of showbiz! Because, why can’t B-movies have class? Because of all of this dreaming, he forgot all about girls and getting laid.

Soon all the guests start arriving. Mudhoney, a sassy redhead, Lucas and Lance, who dress like if Miami Vice and Magnum P.I. (and possibly gay… with each other) mated with the typical ‘dude-bro’, Joey and his mother who wears so much make up, you probably needs a belt sander to remove it and finally Jennifer, the girl Joey has a secret crush on. This is when one of the more strange (and believe me, that’s saying a lot) characters is introduced. A dirty, possibly retarded woman named Marmalade wonders onto the property. Wanting to join party, she freshens up by smearing some blue goop out of a frog’s bunghole and onto her lips. Naturally, a person like this would upset any sane rational people, even if it is a movie by Chris Seaver and Ron Bonk, as they threaten and remove her from the party. So in a very ominous, Crazy Ralph kind of way she puts a curse on them and flees. Oh well, back to the drinking and sex!

sexsquatchAnd this is when we get our full glimpse of the Sexsquatch, named Stinkfist, who happens to be pooping next to Marmalade. If you’re expecting to see a man dressed in what looks like a Halloween costume with rubber gloves and shoes, well then you’re in luck! I don’t consider this a bad thing. It certainly adds to the humor and you get a sense everyone is having fun, especially with this character. This ridiculousness is further emphasized when the creature speaks with Shakespearian style English accent. Marmalade befriends the beast and she promises him a buffet of victims to rape and kill (it’s in his blood after all).

Our loveable group of misfits continue on with their party. The girls discuss which one of them is going to deflower young Joey, with the obvious choice being Jennifer since they seem to like each other. Ah, romance is such a beautiful thing, especially when a Sexsquatch and a bizarre homeless woman are trying to molest you. Later that evening, Leo, being the sage that he is, tells the horror story of the Terror at Blood Fart Lake, an obvious nod to Chris Seaver’s previous work. Lucas leaves to go grab some more ‘brewskies’. But what would a solo trip for beer in the woods be if you didn’t stop to take a pee? After unknowingly giving Marmalade a golden shower, Stinkfist disembowels Lucas and sodomizes him. Why do I get the feeling I’m going to be talking about that a lot?

While sharing a tender moment the next day, Jennifer and Joey literally stumble upon his body and tell the group. This is when we are treated to what is probably the greatest musical number in history about the KKK adopting a highway and cleaning up litter. Lance, rocking a sweet pair of Bret Hart shades, vows vengeance and rather than contact the authorities, the group agrees Lucas would want them all to continue with the party. And that’s what they do. There is cake, which Joey’s mom blows the candles out by farting on them, an emotional speech and then finally Joey’s big moment: Knocking boots with the lucky girl Jennifer. But outside, Stinkfist is turning another victim into a finger puppet (again, literally).

This is the traditional part in a horror film when the group goes their own ways to do whatever it is they do and die in horrific ways. Believe me, in Sexsquatch, the deaths are horrific… and hilarious! The best of being while two are being sodomized at once (see, told you that would come back) while Stinkfist is singing Down in New Orleans by Dr. John. This is a scene you have to see to believe.

But now it’s time for the final showdown. The remaining survivors are confronted by Stinkfist and his evil cohort Marmalade and have kidnapped Jennifer when she ran off after Joey’s awkward finish when he called out ‘Mother’ (in his defense, he said it like ‘Muv-uhh’ like Danzig). Finally giving some exposition, Stinkfist tells them he is from the planet Buttsexon Prime and has a bet with his overlord to see who can rape and kill the most. Stinkfist is nearly at that goal, but not if Skippy can help it! He jumps into action! No retreat, no surrender! The final battle ensues, but will it be enough to stop the evil Stinkfist and his creepy sidekick (so creepy she even creeps him out! Do you know how hard it is to creep out a Sexsquatch?)

sexsquatchSexsquatch is the perfect get together movie, throw back some brewskies of your own and have a good laugh. As I said earlier, this isn’t a film to be taken seriously and the film makers and actors make this obvious. They are having a good time and they want you to be a part of that. This is inviting from the first line of dialogue, which sounds like if Quentin Tarantino was writing fart and wiener jokes for porno. It’s dirty, disgusting and hysterically poetic. I’ve never heard vulgar dialogue sound so beautiful and make so much sense. I need to incorporate that way of speech into my everyday life.

I honestly have nothing but praise for this movie. I had an absolute blast watching it and what makes it better is I know I’ll have an even better time when I share it with my friends, who I know will like it as much as I did. If I had to make one complaint about the film, it’s that the run time is just shy of under an hour. Luckily there are some hilarious bloopers on the DVD extras to give you a little some more as well as some other trailers, like Ron Bonk’s Clay and Ms. Cannibal Holocaust.

You can grab your copy of Sexsquatch from SRS Cinema’s website on March 23rd!

roadside attractions

  • Skippy’s donuts
  • Mustache and mullets
  • Bret Hart shades
  • Shakespeare poop jokes
  • Hooties!
totals

7

blood

BLOOD

Gut strangulation, head squishing and finger puppets!

7

blood

BREASTS

Nothing bare, but good lord there are some large-uns!

9

beast

BEASTS

I don’t know which one creeps me out more: Sexsquatch or Marmalade.

8.1 OVERALL
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Check out this trailer from “Sexsquatch”

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About the Highway

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