Our online movie partner Crackle.com has been quit busy building their library of B-movie goodness. You can’t swing a dead cat, and not hit a schlocky nugget of cinema, and if there’s one thing we know about …is dead cat swinging. So don’t go driving drunk to Blockbuster  again only to be disappointed that your only choices are between “All Dogs Go to Heaven”, and 150 copies of “She’s Just Not That Into You.”  Instead check out some of these great, and so bad they’re great online movies all for FREE!! Save gas, save money, adopt a pet cat. We’re Lost Highway, and we’re here to help.

AstroZombies

At first one would think this would be about zombie palm readers or undead astrologists. Actually, it’s just your typical rocket science nerd who wants to make a super-human so he uses dead people’s body parts resulting in a monstrous killer. Oh please, that’s so 18th Century Mary Shelly.

The Blob

How on earth could Jello be this scary? Well it is, and it kills…slowly….very slowly. So, get out your sliced bananas, and whip cream, and get ready for some cherry flavored terror. Now go ahead, and get yourself a snack it’ll take it a while to congeal.

BloodShack

“I got me a car, it’s as big as a whale and we’re headin’ on down to the Blood Shack.” Ahh yes the epic that is “BloodShack” when movies didn’t have to have plots, or acting, and your killer wears Ninja pajamas. Hope you like the rodeo because there’s plenty of it in this little barrel scraper of B-moviedom. Check it out but you’ve been warned.

Check out our review of “BloodShack”

the beyond The Beyond

Real estate is all about location, and owning an old hotel built over one of the entrances to Hell won’t help resale values. Italian horror at it’s creepiest, and weirdest when the supernatural invade Louisiana. It’s a Mardi Gras of evil as zombies, and flesh eating spiders are thrown into the mix. Mama Mia!

Brain Scan

Edward Furlong before he went into rehab discovers a creepy computer game with a warped game show host from hell. This deranged Bob Barker turns him into a late night virtual killer. Not a big career stretch for Eddie…is this guy even still alive?

Drunken Master

Jackie Chan’s best film to date….yes even better than “the Spy Next Door.” Jackie Chan does some crazy stunts, and amazing Kung Fu fight scenes like rolling over hot coals, and spitting fire while battling an evil assassin. If anyone can… Jackie Chan can. Do you get the feeling this guy was a bit hyperactive when we he was a kid?

Earth Vs. the Flying Saucers

Seems like in the 1950’s every Alien that could pilot a ship tried to invade the earth and we’d kick their green butts back to Mars. When will they learn? This time it’s Jiffy pop popcorn tins on strings attacking from other worldly galaxies..so arm thy butter. Award winning special effects by 9 year old Timmy!

Godzilla vs. Mothra

Get the biggest bug zapper you can find because Mothra is on the loose and Godzilla the spicy breathed mutant Gecko lizard is out for a bug hunt. It ends in a three way with Battra, Mothra, and good ol’ Gojira. But will Godzilla still call them in the morning. Tokyo residents really need to get some mutant attack insurance.

The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became a Mixed up Zombies

while I eagerly await a TISCWSLABAMUZ PART 2 the original will just have to tide me over. From the same amazing team that brought you “BloodShack.” This time a dopey kid falls in love with a carnival stripper while he’s frolicking around with his weird Russian roommate, and big haired girlfriend. The stripper’s sister is a gypsy who turns him into a zombie so he can go on a killing spree, and hallucinate about chicken puppets. Meanwhile a man with a beard smokes a cigar. Confused? So were we. The movie is guaranteed to leave you breathless…from saying that gigantic title.

The Night of the Living Dead (1990)

Ya know I think this whole zombie thing might actually catch on some day. This is a recent remake of the B&W classic so don’t freak out when you see color. This time Tom Savini takes the directors chair, and does an admirable job giving us some unexpected twists to this classic tale of the rising dead. Yes, they’re still coming to get you Barbara only this time in brilliant technicolor.

Screamers

On a distant plan scientists cross a toaster with a Black and Decker table saw so that they can try to make slice bologna out of Peter Weller. The killing machines are evolving, and cutting down people faster than timber in a saw mill. Where’s Robocop when you need him?

Starship Troopers

The ultimate bug hunt. What amounts to a big slap in the face to fascism, and the military machine this satirical sci-fi action romp is just as fun as it is ridiculous. Why do we travel over half the galaxy to attack bugs on another planet? Must be some oil in them there caves.

Check out our review of Starship Troopers here

Taxi Driver

Robert De Niro can play a creepy psycho like nobody else. What amounts to an urban vigilante movie, Martin Scorsese makes us even more afraid of New York cab drivers. Oh, and Jodi Foster was a pre-teen hooker. Well not in real life…she plays one is this movie. Great, now look at the rumor we started.