Archive for the 'Grindhouse' Category

Oct

Comments Off on The Dorm That Dripped Blood

If the title doesn’t capture your attention, then something is wrong with your neural net processor (that’s brain for you laymen). Presented totally uncut, The Dorm That Dripped Blood (a play on the title The Room That Dripped Blood, perhaps?) at the surface appears as a copycat slasher, mostly emulating Friday the 13th and Halloween, but it has more substance than that. The relationship between the characters is well developed, the atmosphere is dark and moody like a fall evening, the score sounds like a small orchestra (which sounds overplayed and you kinda wish they went for a simple keyboard/synthesizer score to play the scenes for subtly) and the special effects are great and gory!

Believe it or not, this movie is set during the Christmas season, although you could easily miss that since there is no snow or holiday music, two things that are associated with that time of year. You may think that is irrelevant to the plot, but what better way to clear out a college campus, all but a few students that are staying to clear out a dorm before demolition, a very unfortunate situation… and they haven’t even realized they are being stalked by a killer!

Dorms that dripped bloodThe movie opens right up with someone being chased and murdered, which is a way to catch your attention, but then we jump into a party with Joanne, who is growing distant from her boyfriend Tim. Our heroine Joanne is joined by her friends, all playing a somewhat stereotyped role to the slasher genre. You have young, naïve Debbie who is played Daphne Zuniga (who would later go on to be in Spaceballs as the Princess), Bryan the possible love interest, Craig the wise guy and Patty the frightened one. I know in any other movie, you would be able to guess their roles and what order they die or who lives, but The Dorm That Drips Blood does something a little different with them.

The caretaker Bill is also present, but doesn’t really interact with the group of kids. Only to inform them that one of his drills is missing… hmm… Also stalking around the campus is local weirdo John Hemmit who looks like he should be searching the dumpsters for a comb instead of garbage. Speaking of garbage, Joanne befriends Bobby Lee Tremble, a local salesman buying tables from the college and also hitting on Joanne. It doesn’t matter that Bobby Lee is tied to another woman, another woman that we only see in a scene later on just so we can get the obligatory breast shot, he is all about seeing Joanne again.

The film paces its kills a good pace. Not too early, not too late. Almost like we are be treated to a three course meal. Rather than wait until the end of the film to cross off its characters, The Dorm That Dripped Blood not only starts with a tame kill, but shortly after the beginning, one of our characters parents are brutally murdered by a nail bat and strangulation and then proceeds to run over their child’s head! And yes, you will see the aftermath of it. Lesson learned, never help out your friends at a college when everyone else has gone home. The goriest and best looking kill by far is when one of the characters gets a power drill (Oh hey, that’s where that went!) to the back of their head. You see the drill crack and rip apart the back of their skull and spray blood all over the room. Another one of the cast is boiled alive and another is hacked to pieces. It’s a movie that goes for intense, brutal kills that are played out rather than quick cuts shying away from the violence, like most slashers at the time.

The Dorm that dripped bloodThe film will also plays with the ‘who done it’ aspect, but does it subtly, so you keep guessing, but you aren’t overwhelmed by the mystery. I honestly kept guessing and changing my guess. Was it Tim? He’s seems angry enough. Maybe it’s Bryan. He has the hots for Joanne, but that would be too obvious, so maybe it’s that weird guy? He’s so bizarre, but that’s what they want me to think. By the time you find out who the killer is, it doesn’t really make sense, but when they give you the reason, it doesn’t really pay off. Because the killer loves her? It’s perhaps the most typical thing about this movie and it feels like such a copout, but the dark and unexpected ending makes up for it and leaves one reminiscing about the ending to Bob Clark’s Black Christmas.

Synapse released the Blu-Ray/DVD combo, which is the uncensored Director’s cut called Death Dorm. From a technical standpoint, at times, the blacks look washed out with blues or yellows, but it’s not overwhelming. Edges look sharp, objects pop out and a lot of the noise and grain is cleaned up. They left enough of grain and blacks in the film, so it still feels dark and alarming. The only audio mix, however, is 2.0 mono (I personally prefer this for older horror films rather than remixing it in 5.1) so it has that very radio sound and feel to it. You can even listen to the score isolated! It does have some special features, such as audio commentary with Directors Jeffrey Obrow and Stephen Carpenter, a few interviews with crew members, trailers and in traditional Synapse form, a reversible cover (the original US artwork entitled Pranks).

This is film is surprisingly overlooked and I would put it up with the greats like Twitch of the Death Nerve and Black Christmas. There are few dull moments, something is always happening and you believe the relationship between these kids. The dark, twisted ending was a nice surprise and I urge everyone to see this.

roadside attractions

  • Batter up!
  • Road Rage
  • Driller Killerer
  • Simon or Garfunkle?
  • Bobby Lee, the Man of Men
  • Human Stew
  • Black Christmas Syndrome
totals

8

blood

BLOOD

Smothers it on think, like if there was some kind of butter gravy.

6

blood

BREASTS

Just one, but it is initializing and glorious.

7

beast

BEASTS

The killer isn’t the only creepy dude on campus, bro.

8.5 OVERALL
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Check out the trailer for “The Dorm That Dripped Blood”

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Jun

Comments Off on Father’s Day: Rest Stop Review Edition

Tagline: Sons, lock up your fathers… vengeance arrives on… Father’s Day!

Year: 2011 Runtime: 99 min

Director: Astron-6

Writer: Astron-6

Starring: Matthew Kennedy, Adam Brooks, Conor Sweeney, Amy Groening, Jeremy Gillespie and Steven Kostanski

Father’s day is officially over but that doesn’t mean it’s time to forget your old pop. Thanks to Astron-6’s touching memorial to fathers everywhere, you can appreciate the old man everyday for the rest of forever.

The best description of the absolute coolness that is Father’s Day is: Disturbing horror comedy with more bloody ding dongs than the Hostess factory.

Speaking of bloody ding dongs, this is a Troma film. We all know that Troma movies engage in a certain amount of fart jokes, naked women and morally disturbing images. Astron-6 manages to not only deliver on all of the above, but also manage to make a, I’m almost afraid to say it, throughly entertaining cross-over hit. All the rape and penis mutilation muddies the water a bit, but I really think this can be a solid movie.

Father’s Day is presented as a cheesy Late, Late Movie being aired on The Aston-6—a local access channel. Visually, though, it is a bad-ass Quentin Rodriguez style film: car chases, strippers, hand-held camera work, shotgun blasts to the face, gritty film, the works.

Whereas most of the time the film goes over the top, it also can be very subtle. There’s a scene at Chelsea’s (Amy Groening) kitchen table after Twink’s (Conor Sweeney) friend Walnut (Garrett Hnatiuk) was murdered. Chelsea, Twink and Ahab (Adam Brooks) are making plans to take down the Fuchman (Mackenzie Murdock). There’s blood all over the table, and as they talk you can just hear their arms scraping as they pull away from the sticky mess. Pure class!

I refuse to ruin the movie by giving away too much, but I have to point one small detail out that I only got after multiple viewings. Ahab’s jacket is a character in the film, and at one point is given a voice, Goliath, from the Sunday morning show Davey and Goliath. The real treat is where it is that the jacket gets that particular voice.

This film as been making the rounds and if it comes to your town, it is a must-see at your local cineplex. If you missed it, the four disc, limited edition DVD is scheduled for release June 26, 2012. Do yourself a favor and get on it!

Roadside attractions:

  • extreme overkill: shot with pistol, shotgun up the butt, beaten with brick, head stomped flat, thrown off dam
  • extreme nudity: male and female
  • commercial interruption for Star Raiders, the Late, Late, Late movie
  • maple syrup
  • tasty berries
  • toxic berries
  • fathers

For more on Astron-6, check out our interview with them.

trailers

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Jun

Comments Off on Daughters of Darkness

You thought you were so edgy, in your black makeup and hair dye.  Listening to the Sisters of Mercy and The Cure, clutching your Sandman comics.  You watched “The Hunger” over and over, repeating that first scene when Bauhaus plays the club where David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve go to seduce their next yuppie bloodfeast.  You thought it was the hottest, sexiest vampire movie ever.  Then you got old, put that black makeup away, traded in Gaiman for “Twilight,” and collected like 600 cats.

Well, put down that copy of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” bro, because I have a movie that will get that blood boiling again, for drinking.  Forget “The Hunger,” Daughters of Darkness is the greatest lesbian vampire movie ever.  I defy you to find a more erotic and pretentious vamp flick.

And no, “Vampire in Brooklyn” does not count as erotic no matter how strongly you feel about Eddie Murphy’s mullet.

Newlyweds honeymoon in a depressing and ominous concrete hotel in Belgium.  They are deeply in lust, but the groom (John Karlen of “Dark Shadows” and “Surf Ninjas”) has some seriously complex mother issues and refuses to let the bride meet his “family”.  They meet the simmering Countess Bathory (played with a magnetism rivaling Marlene Dietrich by legendary French actress Delphine Seyrig).  Strangely, the hotel manager swears he met the Countess as a child and that she looked the same then as she does today.  The Countess drives around in a hotrod and is accompanied by a sexy lady-Renfield sporting a pageboy and an ominous red ribbon around her neck.  The Countess becomes obsessed with the young couple, for food, probably, but also maybe for sex?

An odd mix between Euro art house pretension, with the obligatory Freudian shots of ocean waves banging against seawalls, and the grindhouse mandate for boobs, DoD is like “Twilight,” if it had been directed by a sexually depraved and heavily inebriated Stanley Kubrick with Dario Argento as his cinematographer.  The movie looks ravishing, saturated in unsettling browns and reds.   The MILFy Countess is mesmerizing.  Despite a muddled and bizarre story structure (seriously, though, there are boobs and lesbian vampires so why are you even following the plot), this is a hidden 70’s trash gem.  Check it out, and you will compelled to pull out that old “Bela Lugosi’s Dead” 7’ and reapply the black nail polish.

The Lessons from “Daughter of Darkness”:

-Never trust anyone in a neckerchief.

-So you think your neighbor at the resort might be a thousand year old vampire who feeds on the young to attain eternal life and she wants to seduce you?  Just go with it.

roadside attractions

  • Lesbian Vampires, obviously
  • Long shots of oceans representing lust (or maybe fascism?)
  • The color red
  • Absolute lack of sparklepires
  • Soviet brutalist architecture
totals

5

blood

BLOOD

Not particularly gory, unfortunately. But everyone wears a lot of red.

9

blood

BREASTS

How is it that nubile blondes in 70’s exploitation flicks can shower without getting their hair wet? PS – Lesbian vampires, duh.

7

beast

BEASTS

While the film is ambiguous when it comes to the whole “is she actually a vampire?” business, Lady Baths is probably one of the best aristocratic-style bloodsuckers I’ve seen.

8.9 OVERALL
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Check out the trailer for “Daughters of Darkness”

trailers

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May

Comments Off on Intruder

‘Clean up in aisle DEAD!’ Or maybe, ‘Price check for some DEATH!’ Or how about, ‘Attention shoppers… your local grocery store will be MURDERING you in fifteen minutes. So please bring your final purchases to the front lanes…’ Yeah anyway, let’s talk about Intruder!

So what do you get when you take a good chunk of the cast and crew of Evil Dead 2 and put them in a grocery store? You know where I’m going with this. Originally a short film entitled ‘Night Shift’, Intruder centers on a crew of grocery store employees closing the store as they are picked off one by one by a… well, an Intruder. There is more to it than that though.

We get introduced to the silly cast of characters, when Jennifer’s (Elizabeth Cox… and yes, she was Kathy in Night of the Creeps) deranged ex-boyfriend Craig (David Byrnes), who not only is rocking the world’s toughest mullet with a leather jacket, but also tries to threaten Jennifer into a date. Kinda surprised it didn’t work. Thought women liked men who are straight forward. Snapping into action, Linda, the more talented, yet greatly underappreciated Estevez sister, Renee, flips the poop switch and along side of the whole store beat Craig’s arse until he leaves. Man and you thought rent-a-cops were bad!

Now that this problem is out of the way, the crew is informed by store manager Danny (Eugene Glazer) and co-manager Bill (Danny Hicks! You know, the redneck guy that screams, “BOBBI-JOOOOO!” in Evil Dead 2!) informs them the store is closing forever. Not surprising, with the state of the economy and all.

Like any good stalker, Craig continues to call the store and harass Jennifer, so they call the police. In typical slasher form, they are totally useless… so, oh well. Linda finishes up her work and is immediately murdered. Some copies of the box art advertise it like Renee Estevez is the heroine of the film, so I can see how what I just wrote may be confusing to some people who have never seen the film, but have passed by the video in a store and only picked up the box and said, “Hmm… this could be good, but let’s get Grumpier Old Men instead.”

The crew decides to multi-task and search for Craig while working. Bill investigates outside, but is knocked out by Craig, so surely he is the killer…right? And this is the point where everyone is picked off one by one in some of the most grotesque and brutal manners. Hopefully you see the Director’s Cut (which is pretty much every DVD and the Blu-Ray copies) and not any other edition, because the death scenes are heavily cut. Intruder boasts some really amazing special effects by KNB. The Blu-Ray even includes extended death scenes (work print quality) as a bonus feature! People get their head’s sawn in half, hung up by meat hooks, eyes gouged out and a head even gets crushed by a trash compactor!

Also, this is Scott Speigel’s directorial debut and I have to say… he chooses some very interesting cinematography. A lot of random items get their own POV shots, like a door knob, a bottle of liquor… these are all very stylish and cool looking.

Now I can’t really go too much more into the film without spoiling the ending, although some older box art does spoil who the killer is. Instead, I’ll conclude by saying Intruder is a bloody good time. Everyone does a top notch job and even some of the over the top moments are fun to watch. You can tell everyone was having a good time making this film and it really shows. Danny Hicks has some of the best line deliveries and tells an amusing story about being a fireman. Ted Raimi is funny to watch as always and it’s interesting to see Sam Raimi in front of the camera acting. It’s also interesting to note that Bruce Campbell got top billing (courtesy of Paramount’s ‘great’ marketing), although he is only in the film for a mere moment. Add that to all of the great gore effects with some pretty creepy atmosphere and you have a recipe for a good ol’ fashioned slasher. If you don’t have Intruder or have never seen it, then you are dead to me. We can no longer see each other, but we can still be friends. I want to see other people and I am breaking up with you… until you see Intruder.

roadside attractions

  • A non-crazy Sheen/Estevez
  • Dude with a ‘tude mullet?
  • Broom POV
  • Compacted cranium
  • Slice ‘n dice head cheese
  • Slab o’ meat?-Half off sale
totals

9

blood

BLOOD

Splish, splash, splat!

0

blood

BREASTS

Get your fill elsewhere, sickos!

7

beast

BEASTS

Just one little blood thirsty ankle bitter but he does plenty of damage. Somebody should get this kid a pacifier.

8.2 OVERALL
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Check out the trailer for “The Intruder”

trailers

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Mar

posted by admin | March 23, 2012 | 70's movies, B-movies, Cult Film, Grindhouse, Review by Tiger Sixon

Comments Off on Women in Cages

From the trailer

Women in Cages continues The Big Doll House’s proud cinematic tradition of showing women behind bars (and the ‘trilogy’ was completed with the mashup-sounding, The Big Bird Cage). Although, there are very few real cages to be found. Jail cells, sure. Holes in the ground, yes. Cages, at least in the style familiar to birds as I hoped to see, were nowhere to be seen.

What Women in Cages does have in abundance is one of the Three B-movie B’s: Breasts. They are everywhere, like Bronies at a cosplay convention. You see breasts in the first few minutes, and you don’t really go more than about 22 frames before seeing another pair, or five. Breasts in Cages would be a more apt title. Actually, no. Breasts A-Go-Go would be even better (See also: Breast Friends, Bosom Buddies, Boobpocalypse Now).

Women in Cages still

The plot, such as it is, has a lady blackmailed with drug possession, and she’s sent to a hellish women’s prison by a judge with a robot voice. The judge ain’t really a robot, he just sounds like one (like the voices in my head). The sound quality, or lack thereof, is nothing short of hilarious. Some scenes sound like they were recorded with a garage sale Strawberry Shortcake Tape Recorder, and then buried in a damp basement for five years. Then there is the music. It seems to be on its own schedule, and starts and stops whenever it wants, no matter what is going on in the scene. Also on its own schedule are the ‘day for night’ shots—the lighting shifts more often than a NASCAR driver.

The prisoners are under the iron heel of the Matron Alabama, played by a young Pam Grier. When Grier ain’t seducing her female charges, she is torturing them in ‘The Playpen’ (which ain’t some kinda Thunderdome arena as I first hoped). One scene in particular brings new meaning to the phrase “fire crotch.”

Speaking of crotches, Women in Cages features some of the best cinematography ever. At least in regards to covering up a lady’s lower regions. Yes, a well-placed candle, bottle, book, or what-have-you always seems to take the spot of honor. Breasts, and behinds are displayed proudly, like medals of honor, but genitals are covered up like the Russian Moon Landing. The placement and framing of these items is nothing short of inspired.

Fire crotch in Women in Cages

But, the plot ain’t all whips, boobs, and cat fights. There is plenty of hilarity. A junkie is promised a fix if she can kill her cellmate—and she’s more inept than a blindfolded Saturday Morning cartoon villain (but with less facial hair). I half-expected her to yell, “Curses! Foiled again!” at times.

Women in Cages is ridiculous, over the top, and cheaply made—three of my favorite things (after whiskey, Smaller Wonder reruns, and whisky). Grier is reason enough to watch this film, and is quite the stand-out. As the Matron, Grier is as brutal and merciless as The Phantom Menace on an infinite loop.

Tiger says, give this one a watch, if only for the history lesson in exploitation films of the early 1970s. Women in Cages is a relic of its time, and it has an important, ageless message: Don’t do drugs in the Philippines.


Tiger Sixon is forced to watch B-movies from the comfort of a secret government base in Death Valley. He looks nothing at all like Daniel J. Hogan (@danieljhogan) who draws the comic Clattertron.

roadside attractions

  • Cat fights
  • Poisoned sandwiches
  • Torture
  • Acid throwing
  • A cock fight
  • Two blondes
  • One redhead
  • Sweaty ladies
  • Shives
  • Rats
  • Snakes
  • Leeches
  • Shock treatment
  • Day for night hilarity
  • Crazy sound
  • Short skirts
  • Creative crotch coverage
totals

7

blood

BLOOD

Between cat fights, torture, and guns, there is plenty of blood to go around. .

10

blood

BREASTS

There are so many breasts, that if this movie was in 3D, you would poke an eye out. Hell, both.

10

beast

BEASTS

While not a beast in the ‘scaly monster’ sense of the word, the Matron is beastly in how she treats her charges at the prison. Don’t let the Matron’s good looks and seductive charm fool you—she is one tough customer.

9.0 OVERALL
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