Archive for the 'Reviews by the Goon' Category

May

posted by admin | May 1, 2013 | modern horror, Reviews by the Goon

Comments Off on Dust Up

Here’s a movie that went completely under my radar, until I spotted the incredibly attention grabbing DVD cover: A babe with a gun, an Indian with a bow and an eye patched wearing man armed with a power drill while driving a 3-wheeler, all synced with an old west vibe. Now if that doesn’t say action/oddball neo-western, I don’t know what does.

I’m not sure how to go about telling you about Dust Up without making it sound like its overly ambitious or making it sound like it will give you an anxiety attack. Dust Up offers something for everyone: At its core, it’s a story about a man’s redemption with a Spaghetti Western tone, fitted with wide shots and close ups of character’s faces and the strumming of a guitar and rapid beating on a drum for the soundtrack to round off the tone. Then the movie shifts into high gear at parts, offering Sam Raimi style titled camera zooms on characters tweaking out, painted in bright green, pink or blue lighting like Giallo film, tuned to fast paced electronic music , like that of KMFDM. But don’t forget the dark or subtle humor littered throughout the film. You’ll be laughing at something and then question if you should be (but trust me, you should). Oh and we can’t forget the blood, murder, cannibalism and mayhem! Plenty of that for you gore hounds.

Right from the stylish opening credits (reminding me of Go With the Flow video by Queens of the Stone Age), you know you’re in for a ride. Shortly after that we are introduced to our one eyed main character, Jack, who is waking up from a reoccurring, vivid nightmare of a horrible past event that he relives every night from his Marine days and because of it, has secluded himself in the desert. Trying to live a peaceful, non violent life along with his hipster-Native American friend Moe (complete with headband, beaded chest piece and tube socks), they provide a great deal of the movie’s humor, especially Moe.

Jack earns a living by being the desert’s handyman (that’s a lot of ground to cover when you think about it) and is summoned to the job when a young, newly mother named Ella has some issues with her plumbing… ahem (okay, bad pun, but seriously, mud sprays from her faucets). I should mention that Ella is played by Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Amber Benson, still looking cute as ever. Now we shift those gears again and get our glimpse into the psychotic, drug riddled world of Dust Up. Here, we meet Buzz. Resident bar owner, drug dealer, doper and shell shocked bi-sexual (and these are his better personalities). Buzz gets a call from the Sherriff demanding the money he is owed, to which Buzz decides it’s time to collect the money owed to him by meth addict Herman. Herman is assisted out of the bar by the well named Mr. Lizard, who just loves to squeeze balls… (let it come to you) and left to hitchhike. Did I mention Herman is also Ella’s husband? Well, he is and now you know how all these characters are connected! On his way back from Ella’s, Jack spots the recently kicked out the bar Herman hitchhiking.

Seems Herman is in a tight spot for money, so after offering Jack a ‘Handy J’ (hey, Jack isn’t the only ‘handy’ man in the desert!) in exchange for cash he kicks him out of the truck, but is later called back to Ella’s after a butt dial of what sounds like an argument. Being the self appointed hero, Jack springs into action and heads on over and learns of Herman’s dilemma and offers to loan him some of the cash (after all, that would be a lot of ‘Handy J’s’).

This is when things start to go south for all of the colorful characters. Jack and Herman head off to pay Buzz some of the money, along with Moe who is infiltrating Buzz’s bar incognito (you know, because he’ll blend right in…), but wouldn’t you know it? Everything goes sour and the boys end up blowing up Buzz’s place! And if things couldn’t get any worse, guess what? The Sherriff arrives and demands his money! Wakka Wakka! And then, the film takes an incredibly dark turn. To put it lightly, Buzz chokes the Sherriff to death while raping him. And remember, I said “lightly.” I’m wording this as non foul as possible.

Buzz and his gang decide to head on over to Casa de Herman and take over their residence, inviting all his bar patrons and having a ‘pig’ roast (get it? Because the Sherriff is a cop… pigs… ok), lacing the Sherriff’s cooked body with drugs, encouraging everyone to partake in cannibalism. Well, there is one way to do it: Appeal to a junkie’s needs. After a severe beating, Jack and Moe escape and rescue Ella, but as for poor Herman… Well, let’s just say that a dog ate his guts. All is still not right though. Buzz still has Ella’s child and Buzz is so insane that he will continue to hunt them down forever and ever. Time to nut up, as Jack, Moe and Ella tap into their inner Chi or Native-ness or whatever, don some war paint, load up and go to war in a hilarious and gory climax!

This movie is literally a trip. It will give you the illusion that you are watching it under the influence of narcotics and if you are on narcotics, prepare yourself for a freak-out. Dust Up is one of those rare gems where as chaotic as the characters and themes can be, mix perfectly together here. At times, it’s subtle and then escalates to over the top silly and is quickly brought down by threatening violence and topped off with some good blood. The music only helps to enhance the viewing, perfectly fitting each scenario from calming to heavily frantic (although sometimes it can be too loud and cover some of the dialogue).

I can’t stress it enough: SEE THIS MOVIE. It’s got a splash of Tarantino, Clint Eastwood and Sergio Leone and maybe a dash of Oliver Stone. The disc boasts a lot of cool and funny extras as well at an affordable price (I found mine at a Best Buy for $9.99). Now that’s a price you can afford and won’t have to give any Handy J’s.

roadside attractions

  • Let’s play ‘Pirates and Indians!’
  • Speed Freak Handy J’s.
  • Mr. Lizard.
  • Bean Bag Tossing.
  • I shot the Sheriff… and then did something foul to him.
  • Cannibal Cookout!
  • Red Dead Revenge!
totals

8

blood

BLOOD

Not the goriest thing you will see, but you’ll be swimming in that pretty red stuff!

6

blood

BREASTS

Plenty to oogle at, but you’ll see more man arse….

9

beast

BEASTS

This movie has plenty of characteristic villains and heroes!

8.1 OVERALL
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Check out the trailer for “Dust Up”

trailers

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Apr

Comments Off on Fondue

Fondue

I don’t understand all this hate for Canada. I’ve been there a few times and it’s a nice, quiet place and I always have a good time. After all, they have given us wonderful things like Bacon, Rush and poutine. Well now I would like to add another thing to that list: The films of young filmmaker Torin Langen. Usually when we think of Canadian films, The Final Sacrifice comes to mind, but I’m here to erase that memory from your mind and fill it with a pleasant one.

This memory in particular is a short I was fortunate enough to see entitled Fondue from Candle Flame Films. I wasn’t sure what Fondue was about, but having seen some of Torin’s previous work, such as Trash, I was pretty excited to view this. And let me tell you… I was blown away.

The film starts off with a young woman sitting quietly by herself on sidewalk of a busy city. A young man comes to meet her and the two frolic off to a department store where they pick up some creepy masks and some cheerful looking pumpkin buckets for Trick or Treating, giving you the indication that it’s probably for Halloween. However, the streets seem to be lacking any children, dressed as ghouls or goblins out and about haggling for candy door to door. It’s here that the pair dons there masks and walk side by side down some railroad tracks as they mark their hands with an ‘F’. They make their way to a house that looks like it should be in a Rob Zombie film as they bump into another young woman, also in a mask holding a bucket, as she is skipping away from the house. The three stare at each other for a moment and it’s at this moment when you realize how quiet the town seems and that something terrible could happen at any moment. The young girl just scoots pass them as they make their way up to the door.

Once at the house, someone in a mask invites the girl in as the boy waits outside. The interior of the house, desperately needing some interior decoration (maybe someone should call the guys from Extreme Makeover: Home Edition). The girl is instructed to go upstairs after being handed an intense looking knife, hooked and bearing teeth similar to a saw. Once upstairs, she hesitates for a moment and stands in a doorway, very reminiscent of slasher villains Jason Voorhees or Michael Myers. Then we see what she was staring at: A young man, bound and gagged in a rusted, filthy bathtub, hooked up to some homemade IV. She advances with the knife and the film reveals its true nature.

Fondue was truly unnerving for the right reasons. For starters, the film’s muted color bring out the grey sky, the orange and brown of the dead leaves and the dried blood red house make you feel uncomfortable in your own surroundings, leaving you with a sense of dread that you are in constant danger. The only time we see the characters faces is at the beginning. These kids look innocent and harmless, but once they don their monster masks, which seem to fit their faces and personality, they turn into soulless beings capable of macabre things. Fondue is also void of any dialogue and the actors are forced to show emotion through masks, which is no easy task when no one speaks and is hiding their faces, but their eyes, peering beyond the masks (especially actress Raven Cousens) shakes you to your core.

Aside from the wind whipping dead tree branches, the sound or gravel and hardwood floors beneath their shoes and the occasional passing train, Fondue’s only soundtrack are very rusty guitar strings, reminding me of Neil Young, matches the tone, both visually and viscerally.

Overall, the film was an eerie experience and had sort of a Jim Jarmusch vibe to it, mixed with a little bit of Hitchcock tension. Fondue is respectually getting the recognition it deserves and turning heads (and stomachs) at film festivals all over. Keep your eye for this one and on the director/writer Torin Langen. That kid is going places, I tell ya.

roadside attractions

  • Monster Mask Mania
  • Homemade IV Goodness
  • Fondue Dipping Fun
totals

8

blood

BLOOD

Everyone, everything… except the dude in the tub.

7

blood

BREASTS

If you count that one boob in the bathtub.

9

beast

BEASTS

Everyone, everything… except the dude in the tub.

8.1 OVERALL
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Check out the trailer for “Fondue”

trailers

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Mar

Comments Off on Sexsquatch

There are some films you shouldn’t take so seriously. I shouldn’t have to tell you which films these are, but Sexsquatch… not one of them, believe it or not. When you first hear the title, you may think it’s a low budget porn spoof of some kind and you would be halfway right. It is low budget, but the other half is a comedic blend of horror and toilet humor and let me tell you something: This kind of blend goes down smooth right to the last drop.

Sexsquatch, brought to you by SRS Cinema, starts off with a Sasquatch pun-filled narration from the Warlock (for those of you familiar with Warlock Home Video) who promises us, “We haven’t seen nothing yeti!” which is a perfect description to set the tone. For those of you who have seen writer/director Chris Seaver’s previous work, which includes Terror at Blood Fart Lake, you know what you’re in for. For those of you who haven’t… strap in.

The movie begins with a meteor crashing into Earth, interrupting a couple (one of which is rocking a Fright Rags’ Silent Night, Deadly Night tee!) planning to fornicate. Always seems to be the case, doesn’t it? Just as about he’s going to show her why they call him ‘Johnny Longbone’ (a possible MST3K reference), Sexsquatch appears, mumbling “butthole” and kills them. We are only about two minutes into this movie and I already love it.

Cut to the squinty eyed Skippy, a donut obsessed young man who talks kind of like Robert DeNiro and sort of looks like Butthead, who is bringing his pal, and presumably life partners Leo and Crystal some of said donuts. After interrupting some baby making, the three talk about throwing a party for their pal Joey, who unfortunately has never been laid. You see, Joey is the ‘edu-ma-cated’ one of the bunch and has hopes and dreams of one day becoming the president of showbiz! Because, why can’t B-movies have class? Because of all of this dreaming, he forgot all about girls and getting laid.

Soon all the guests start arriving. Mudhoney, a sassy redhead, Lucas and Lance, who dress like if Miami Vice and Magnum P.I. (and possibly gay… with each other) mated with the typical ‘dude-bro’, Joey and his mother who wears so much make up, you probably needs a belt sander to remove it and finally Jennifer, the girl Joey has a secret crush on. This is when one of the more strange (and believe me, that’s saying a lot) characters is introduced. A dirty, possibly retarded woman named Marmalade wonders onto the property. Wanting to join party, she freshens up by smearing some blue goop out of a frog’s bunghole and onto her lips. Naturally, a person like this would upset any sane rational people, even if it is a movie by Chris Seaver and Ron Bonk, as they threaten and remove her from the party. So in a very ominous, Crazy Ralph kind of way she puts a curse on them and flees. Oh well, back to the drinking and sex!

sexsquatchAnd this is when we get our full glimpse of the Sexsquatch, named Stinkfist, who happens to be pooping next to Marmalade. If you’re expecting to see a man dressed in what looks like a Halloween costume with rubber gloves and shoes, well then you’re in luck! I don’t consider this a bad thing. It certainly adds to the humor and you get a sense everyone is having fun, especially with this character. This ridiculousness is further emphasized when the creature speaks with Shakespearian style English accent. Marmalade befriends the beast and she promises him a buffet of victims to rape and kill (it’s in his blood after all).

Our loveable group of misfits continue on with their party. The girls discuss which one of them is going to deflower young Joey, with the obvious choice being Jennifer since they seem to like each other. Ah, romance is such a beautiful thing, especially when a Sexsquatch and a bizarre homeless woman are trying to molest you. Later that evening, Leo, being the sage that he is, tells the horror story of the Terror at Blood Fart Lake, an obvious nod to Chris Seaver’s previous work. Lucas leaves to go grab some more ‘brewskies’. But what would a solo trip for beer in the woods be if you didn’t stop to take a pee? After unknowingly giving Marmalade a golden shower, Stinkfist disembowels Lucas and sodomizes him. Why do I get the feeling I’m going to be talking about that a lot?

While sharing a tender moment the next day, Jennifer and Joey literally stumble upon his body and tell the group. This is when we are treated to what is probably the greatest musical number in history about the KKK adopting a highway and cleaning up litter. Lance, rocking a sweet pair of Bret Hart shades, vows vengeance and rather than contact the authorities, the group agrees Lucas would want them all to continue with the party. And that’s what they do. There is cake, which Joey’s mom blows the candles out by farting on them, an emotional speech and then finally Joey’s big moment: Knocking boots with the lucky girl Jennifer. But outside, Stinkfist is turning another victim into a finger puppet (again, literally).

This is the traditional part in a horror film when the group goes their own ways to do whatever it is they do and die in horrific ways. Believe me, in Sexsquatch, the deaths are horrific… and hilarious! The best of being while two are being sodomized at once (see, told you that would come back) while Stinkfist is singing Down in New Orleans by Dr. John. This is a scene you have to see to believe.

But now it’s time for the final showdown. The remaining survivors are confronted by Stinkfist and his evil cohort Marmalade and have kidnapped Jennifer when she ran off after Joey’s awkward finish when he called out ‘Mother’ (in his defense, he said it like ‘Muv-uhh’ like Danzig). Finally giving some exposition, Stinkfist tells them he is from the planet Buttsexon Prime and has a bet with his overlord to see who can rape and kill the most. Stinkfist is nearly at that goal, but not if Skippy can help it! He jumps into action! No retreat, no surrender! The final battle ensues, but will it be enough to stop the evil Stinkfist and his creepy sidekick (so creepy she even creeps him out! Do you know how hard it is to creep out a Sexsquatch?)

sexsquatchSexsquatch is the perfect get together movie, throw back some brewskies of your own and have a good laugh. As I said earlier, this isn’t a film to be taken seriously and the film makers and actors make this obvious. They are having a good time and they want you to be a part of that. This is inviting from the first line of dialogue, which sounds like if Quentin Tarantino was writing fart and wiener jokes for porno. It’s dirty, disgusting and hysterically poetic. I’ve never heard vulgar dialogue sound so beautiful and make so much sense. I need to incorporate that way of speech into my everyday life.

I honestly have nothing but praise for this movie. I had an absolute blast watching it and what makes it better is I know I’ll have an even better time when I share it with my friends, who I know will like it as much as I did. If I had to make one complaint about the film, it’s that the run time is just shy of under an hour. Luckily there are some hilarious bloopers on the DVD extras to give you a little some more as well as some other trailers, like Ron Bonk’s Clay and Ms. Cannibal Holocaust.

You can grab your copy of Sexsquatch from SRS Cinema’s website on March 23rd!

roadside attractions

  • Skippy’s donuts
  • Mustache and mullets
  • Bret Hart shades
  • Shakespeare poop jokes
  • Hooties!
totals

7

blood

BLOOD

Gut strangulation, head squishing and finger puppets!

7

blood

BREASTS

Nothing bare, but good lord there are some large-uns!

9

beast

BEASTS

I don’t know which one creeps me out more: Sexsquatch or Marmalade.

8.1 OVERALL
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Check out this trailer from “Sexsquatch”

trailers

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Mar

Comments Off on Rage

rage

Whenever I want to talk about this movie, I want to yell, “RAAAAGE!” much like those Surge commercials back in the day. Possibly while skydiving, devouring a bag of Dorito’s and slamming a 24 oz. of Mountain Dew and you know something? That’s not a far off description from the movie. This movie is seriously EXTREEEEEME! Everything gets shot, shatters and explodes or gets a roundhouse kick to the dome… mostly in slow motion.

This plot actually shares something similar with 28 Days Later, believe it or not. This evil corporation (is there ever a good one?), Westech, is experimenting with a rage type virus on monkeys and then on illegal immigrants to create the perfect batch of super soldiers. So, shove off Steve Rogers, you shmuck! You see, this shady cop working with Westech by rounding up illegal immigrants for them to run their experiments. But, one of these round ups goes sour and one of these illegal immigrants who’s been supplying Westech with illegal immigrants (I know, just stay with me) decides to start a firefight and flees the scene. He happens to hijack family man and second grade teacher, Alex Gainer, played by the arse kicking brit, Gary Daniels.

Kelly kidnaps Gainer and says since he’s a limey, he’ll work fine for the experiments and claiming, “He don’t speak no good English.” Since Gainer just happens to be in peak physical condition, they all go along with it. No need to run any other tests to see if he has any health conditions or diseases. They just inject him with some unknown liquid to make him go crazy, so there is no need to train him on survival skills or how to use weapons. But shoot, wouldn’t luck have it, Alex also happens to be a martial arts expert, flips his poop switch after the injection and escapes… but not before beating the pulp out of everyone or filling them full of bullet holes! And what would any good action scenes be if they didn’t have nameless thugs being thrown dozens of feet from an explosion in slow-motion? Did you miss that part? Don’t worry. It happens like a thousand more times.

Alex is an unstoppable killing machine! Until Kelly tazers his nards. That’ll put anything down. However, it doesn’t last long as he manages to flee these villains on foot in dark after they threw him in the trunk of a car. They didn’t even get in the car to chase him. I believe the excuse they had was, “It’s too dark to see.” Hmm, well good thing you didn’t come prepared by bringing flashlights. Then you would have to do some work.

Next comes a long and destructive car chase scene, using a tractor trailer, reminding one of Terminator 2. Alex manages to hijack a semi in order to plow through a barricade. Let the carnage begin! This seriously goes on for at least fifteen minutes. Every police car and another tractor trailer that tries to stop Alex get smashed, exploded, and flipped through the air. He causes so much destruction, that a car literally flies about thirty feet in the air, doing flips, landing and exploding. Only the beefiest of men could do something like that. This scene concludes when Kelly, being the caring soul he is, commandeers a school bus and tries to take down Alex head-on, but Alex, being the nimble, ninja skilled, school teacher he is, surfs on top of the truck and leaps from it as it crashes into the bus and explodes. Don’t worry, he made it out of that situation without a scratch. Kelly on the other hand…

After this comes the film’s greatest fight scene, or maybe one of the best fight scenes in a movie ever. Alex stumbles into a random home like a hopped up hobo and begins rummaging through the refrigerator, ramming day old chicken, milk and tomato juice into his face. While all of this is going on, mind you, the owner of the house is upstairs with his dominatrix. Both of them leather bound… all while Flight of the Valkyries plays on the radio. Not since Apocalypse Now has that song sent chills down man’s spine and instilled images of chaos and violence into our minds. But to answer your burning question, yes the dominatrix does get punched in the face.

rageBy now, you’re starting to sense a pattern: Action beat, exposition, action beat, exposition and so on. There is a journalist and his cameraman (or lady in this case) who aren’t really given much to do except question the antagonists in this flick, as the duo sets out to prove that Alex is innocent. Which I do have to question at this point: When does it stop being self defense after you gunned down countless thugs, beat up a dozen or more cops, crashed more vehicles than The Dukes of Hazzard and caused more property damage than Godzilla? Eh, he’s just a good guy trying to prove he’s innocent!

The film adds another villain, kind of a crooked federal agent, who is trying to bring Alex back to the lab. In the process of trying to accomplish said mission, he punches Alex’s wife in the face. Everyone gets beat up in this movie. I’m surprised nobody took a swing at his daughter. I would have loved to see her do a slow motion roundhouse kick to some dudes stomach. That would have been baller, son. Also, one of the best stunts in the movie takes place on a skyscraper with Gary Daniels dangling from it and falling as he is trying to escape someone from a helicopter shooting at him. But, luckily he lands on his feet without a twisted ankle or scratch and runs off to the next action scene.

To conclude this review that has possibly gone on too long, for a movie that seems like it should have been simple to write about, I found myself having a lot to say. Sure, the script serves as a purpose to get actor Gary Daniels from action beat to the next and he doesn’t deliver any action movie one liners, but holy crap… the action is awesomely over the top! I found myself completely entertained this entire flick and (as much as I hate to use this expression, so I will change it just a bit) I found myself at the edge of my uncomfortable futon.

The film does suffer from questionable editing from time to time (you’ll know it once you see it) and the even though the film had a climatic end movie shoot out, it felt like the final showdown between hero and villain was weak. Trust me; it doesn’t go down at all how you think it would. Also, most of Alex’s dialogue is, “BLEEEH! YAGGHHH! ARGH! UMPH!” You get the idea. But if you love cheesy films that have better action than most movies now, and I know you do, watch this. Heck, even if you don’t you should still watch this.

roadside attractions

  • Slo-Mo EXPLO!
  • Take a shot every time someone flies from an explosion in slo-mo
  • Take a shot every time Gary Daniels is grunting.
  • Roundhouse-O-Rama.
  • Tractor Troubles.
totals

7

blood

BLOOD

Squibs and scratches, but more than enough explosions to keep your inner arsonist happy.

4

blood

BREASTS

Just Gary Daniels glistening, sweaty chesticles.

8

beast

BEASTS

Gary Daniels annihilating everything in site.

8.1 OVERALL
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Check out this trailer from “Rage”

trailers

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Feb

posted by admin | February 11, 2013 | 80's b-movies, 80's movies, B-movie Reviews, B-movies, Reviews by the Goon

Comments Off on Death Valley

death valley

Remember that kid Ralphie from A Christmas Story? Of course you do. You watch it every freaking holiday season. Anyway before actor Peter Billingsley did that, he was in this thriller/horror film about vacationing in Death Valley called… Death Valley. And remember Andy’s mom from Child’s Play, Catherine Hicks? Yup, she’s in this one too playing a mother. Only connection from Child’s Play to this movie that I can make is Peter Billingsley has this evil doll like stare. Oh and Wilford Brimley even shows up in a few scenes to play sheriff. Just long enough to get a check. That diabeetus medication isn’t cheap, son.

death valleyWell the fine ghouls over at Scream! Factory ported over a solid transfer of both video and audio and present this surprisingly suspense film on Blu-ray. Although not crammed with special features, we do get audio commentary from the director Dick Richards and Edwin Samuelson of The Cinephiles for a pretty informative commentary. Outside of that, a few trailers and a TV spot.

So what’s the movie about? Well, this kid wants a Red Ryder BB gun… sorry, wrong film. Death Valley focuses on young Billy (Peter Billingsley) who we see having a rather pleasant day with his father in the Big Apple. That’s New York City or NYC for the laymen. They discuss Billy leaving the city to go to Death Valley with his mother for a small vacation in a rather touching discussion they have and you learn about his parent’s divorce. Billy’s mother, Sally (Catherine Hicks) kinda tosses Billy into her new relationship and wants him to get along with herself and Mike, her new boyfriend. In his defense, he actually does try by talking to Billy and giving him a cap gun pistol as a present, exclaiming it was the same model that Billy the Kid used (Billy has a cowboy fascination), but Billy (the kid Billy, not Billy the Kid. Confused?) schools him on the actual model. Suck it, Mike!

While wandering around COMPLETELY UNSUPERVISED in Death Valley, which by the way, Sally gave him permission to do. I’m not really feeling this mom character. Billy stumbles across an RV, which moments before had served the purpose of a crime scene where three travelers were killed. They don’t find the bodies, but Billy steals a medallion he finds on board. This RV has a beautiful ‘Macaroni and Cheese’ colored shag carpet with wood paneling, proving that the 70’s had no sense of decency. Mike comes and finds him and they go about their day. Billy recognizes the same medallion on a man at a diner they are eating at, instantly feeling a strange suspicion of the man. They also see that the same RV they saw in Death Valley is being pulled from the bottom of a cliff and they tell Sheriff Diabeetus (cause it’s Wilford Brimley. Get it?) that they had seen it earlier and Billy hands over the medallion he found. The Sheriff knows who it belongs to and sets off to ask the person of interest about it, but doesn’t come back from the questioning. Here’s your check, Mr. Brimley! Thanks for passing by the set and playing Sheriff!

death valleyNow that the killer has the medallion back in his possession, you learn that there could possibly be two killers. The sheriff, unknowingly that he was talking to the killer(s), revealed who found the pendant and where which hotel they were staying at. Wow, Sheriff. Ever heard of a thing called confidentiality, especially when you are questioning someone you suspect to be involved in the murder? So now, the killer begins tracking and stalking Billy, killing anyone who gets in the way. This is all going on while Mike tries to have a relationship with Billy and reach out to him while Sally just does typical mom stuff.

The film does a great job of drawing out suspense as they play their cat and mouse game and you wonder if there actually are two killers, which is finally revealed in a hair raising ‘lights out’ scene. Peter Billingsley easily steals the show. As a child actor, you completely buy all of his emotions, especially his resistance and then acceptance of Mike. Also, the fear in his eyes when he is alone in a hotel room being hunted down by the killer. His performance is amazing. This kid out acts all these hacks (Channing Tatum, Mark Wahlberg or anyone else I have beef with at the moment.

You can find this movie reasonably priced at any video store or you can order it from Scream! Factory directly and you should. It’s frightening and tense film and the restoration makes this film look real good. Like a cheese cake on one of those spinny plates at the bakery. You know you want it. Not just a slice. The whole thing.

On a final note, this film’s director, Dick Richards, was considered to direct Jaws, but was dropped from the project because he couldn’t distinguish the shark from a whale… if only, Dick. If only. Your career could have been something else.

roadside attractions

  • Take a shot every time you could say “You’re gonna shoot your eye out!”?
  • Throat slashing and gashing.
  • Rednecks?
  • Take another shot every time you feel uncomfortable between Mike and Billy
  • Tap dancing, hoot-a-nanny!
totals

6

blood

BLOOD

Couple of slashes, couple of bullets. Nothing too gory, but enough.

3

blood

BREASTS

Ya’ll only get one set o’ hooters, but they sure is pretty!?

9

beast

BEASTS

Crazy twins, rednecks and diabeetus. Game over, man.

7.6 OVERALL
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Check out this trailer from “Arcade”

trailers

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About the Highway

Lost Highway is your satirical detour down the twisted back roads of b-movies and cult films reviews. learn more >>