Archive for the 'screeners' Category

May

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Scream Park
2012 – Not Rated – Wild Eye Releasing
Starring Wend Wygant, Steve Rudzinski, Doug Bradley – Directed by Cary Hill

Step right up, folks! It’s the last chance you’ll have to experience these amazing, freaks of nature! That’s right, see the mystifying Scream Park movie that’s shot on video with a shoe string budget that somehow got Doug Bradley. Seriously, how the hell do you cast Doug Bradley, the guy who plays Pinhead? I also read that Tom Savini was going to have a role! Must be a Pittsburgh pride thing. On a personal note, I don’t feel like there are enough amusement park themed horror films (Tobe Hooper’s The Funhouse immediately comes to mind) and I’m not sure why. Amusement parks are pretty frightening on their own, presenting filmmakers with plenty of material to work with. Unfortunately most of the time, they really aren’t that good… *cough* Final Destination 3 *cough*.

sp_2After the opening title sequence, a direct homage to Friday the 13th, we learn it’s the final few days of The Frightland Amusement Park, as the crew of misfit teenagers are closing up for the evening. That’s the harsh reality of a business; it’s all about profits. But what if something horrible were to happen? Something that people would want to go there to experience? It would be the only place they could go to to experience something so wicked! Hmm, I wonder…

Unbeknownst to the crew of Frightland, they will soon find out with the arrival of a mysterious decrepit brown van. The crew consists of all the slasher film regulars; You have the jock douchebag Tony and his voluptuous girlfriend Carlee, the chain smoking goth girl Allison, the doofy young prankster Rhodie (who will steal the show for all the wrong reasons), characterless blonde girl Missi and of course the chastity practicing heroine, Jennifer. In charge of this rag tag bunch of horror stereotypes is Marty, who’s not only a callous dweeb, but also kind of a skeevy pervert. Carlee and Missi play against his perversions with the power of breasts to convince him to have a party for them at the park. Let’s be honest, one glance at Carlee’s cleavage and you would be powerless to all thought, reduced to the most primordial grunts and drooling.

sp_3As the park’s security guard who also doubles as the film’s token black guy, no nonsense Henry, is making his rounds, the kids are sneaking in booze provided by Missi’s punk rocker boyfriend and two mysterious masked prowlers are observing them and circling them from a distance like the patient predators they are. One is a silent, but deadly (sorry, not a fart joke) behemoth in a scarecrow mask and the other is a chuckling maniac in an old plague doctor’s mask. The party rages on… actually, it doesn’t so much as rage as it does casually peak at uninterested levels. You know those parties where only two of the several people are drinking and the others wonder off to do their own thing? Yeah, that’s this party.

Luckily our killers know how to start a party! Or stop, rather. Wisely disposing of the only person who could pose a threat by hanging him by the neck and stabbing him in the chest, our killers can now hunt their prey without worry. Never striding away from the engraved slasher formula, the teens are disposed of one by one, whether it be having their face melted off in a deep fryer, tied up and gutted (kinda reminds me of the first kill in Scream), throat slashed and scalped. As the number of survivors dwindles down, the mystery of the killers is resolved or should say lack of mystery, but the why is resolved in the only scene with Doug Bradley, better known as Pinhead from the Hellraiser series. By this point, it sort of comes as a shock that he’s just now making an appearance in the film (about an hour into the film) and being that it’s his only scene, you wonder how in the hell he got top billing. How? I’ll tell you how! If you had a low budget independent movie and you managed to cast a well known name in horror, you’d slap their name right on the cover too. Once it’s down to the final girl, she squares off the with now masked killers, one of which is revealed to be… a redneck. Yeah, who else would run around killing people in an amusement park. As you can figure you, things wrap up nice and neat with a little predictable twist and wink.

sp_4I know everything I mentioned must sounds like it should be the Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory of crime scenes, but the gore is very tame. Favoring just a squirt of blood and a quick glance at intestines over a geyser of entrails and carnage, which I feel the film really could have benefited from, since there is nothing in the story separating Scream Park from the pack of other cut and paste slashers. Technically speaking, Scream Park isn’t exactly Six Flags (if I may make an amusement park analogy). A majority of the shots in the film seem like bad, lifeless photographs shot with an average consumer HD camcorder. The only lighting seems to be provided by what’s only available in the environment, i.e. street lights or overhead indoor lights, making for grainy shots with muddy colors and shadows obscuring facial features or other details. Seemingly two dimensional with no depth, it focuses the camera on everything in frame rather than the subject, which makes for visually dull (and at times it can really feel like an eye sore) movie. The only scene that seems to be an exception from this is Doug Bradley’s scene, which looks well framed with some depth and has adequate lighting. It’s noticeably drastic that it feels like an entirely different movie. Wonder if he had anything to do with it? Another technical flaw is the Birdemic quality audio, where sounds drop in and out between cuts and are often covered with hiss and fizz. From time to time, there also seems to be a lack of sound effects or they sound like they were recorded in a box, sounding muffled. Luckily, the film is still enjoyable.

But personally, I like shot on video movies. That aside, Scream Park is decently paced, managing to hold your interest. Not to mention it’s packed with cameos and a lot of behind the scenes contribution, like music from The Razorblade Dolls! My favorite part of the entire movie is the character Rhodie, because it’s such an alluring performance. He doesn’t chew scenery or call in his performance, but somewhere that’s not exactly in between. It’s hard to explain exactly where it lies, but basically every line is delivered like he just woke up. Rhodie reminds me of that “dude” in high school that was always blazed and mellow, yet somehow always late for Trig. It’s as if he were an understudy for Matthew McConaughey for Dazed and Confused. Kevin ‘Ogre’ Ogilvie also brings in a fun performance as one of the redneck killers, clearly having a good time in his role and bringing his best. He ranges from shouting vulgarity to cackling like a madman, that’s sure to put a smile on your face every time.

Scream Park
Even though Scream Park is very typical, run of the mill, follow the ingredients type of slasher film with every beat being predictable, it’s not a terrible film. It managed to keep me entertained and I’m glad I watched it. It has a low budget charm, never trying to be more than what it is, although at times it could have used the opportunities to be something more rather than blend in anonymously with every other modern day slasher. It has some unique things about it, making seemingly dry cliches appealing, like with the killers and their interesting masks…. and Carlee’s cleavage. Ok, so not that last one, but it’s still awesome. I would say buy your ticket and take the ride!

Check out this review and plenty others at Goon Reviews.

roadside attractions

  • The busty gals of the Frightland Amusement is a good enough attraction.
  • Good ol’ Rhodie.
  • Redneck Rampage.
  • Goth girls just want to have fun… and die cause their life is so agonizing.
  • Face first french fries!
  • Scalping like Injuns..
  • Doug Bradley.
  • Get your head out of the locker…
totals

5

blood

BLOOD

With quick glimpse of guts and a little splatter, the film could have used a little more.

7

blood

BREASTS

These gals flaunt what they got and Carlee unleashes her dynamic duo!

6

beast

BEASTS

These guys should tour with the Just Before Dawn killers and make a stop in Deliverance.

6 OVERALL
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Check out the trailer for Scream Park!

trailers

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Apr

Comments Off on Camp Dread

Camp Dread
2014 – Unrated – Image Entertainment
Starring Danielle Harris, Eric Roberts, Felissa Rose – Directed by B. Harrison Smith

Not to be confused with the 2004 horror comedy Club Dread, Camp Dread is a movie that will give you a different impression of what it’s about based on the box art. The tagline suggest that I pitch my tent, which is irrelevant to the film, since they all stay in cabins. Kinda stretching that one for a tagline, but whatever. Films do it all the time, but sure enough, there is a photo of a tent right on the front there. I know it sounds like I’m nitpicking and perhaps I am, but another thing that will come to bother me is the image of Danielle Harris, front and center, as well as her name in eye sight. Hell, there’s even a photo of her on the back, so she occupies a good chunk of the overall box art (even the spine). Don’t get me wrong either, I’m not complaining because she is in the movie, but I won’t spoil it now. As we talk about the movie, you’ll see why it bothers me.

So where do we start? Well, there’s a diner scene with Julian (played by Eric Roberts, turning in the only convincing acting), who plays the director of a fictional slasher movie series called Summer Camp and is now producing a reality TV show based on his horror series and Danielle Harris, is the Sheriff of the small town… and that’s it. I was excited to see her in the role of a sheriff, since it seemed to be something different for her, but this is where the disappointment starts, seeing as after this scene, you won’t see her again for a very long time.

cd_2So a reality TV show themed horror movie, sure you’ve seen this before, but there’s a spin. Seeing as these are all troubled “kids” (clearly in their thirties, but this is even pointed out by Eric Roberts that they aren’t kids, but in their early twenties…), mixed up with drugs, violence or what have you, they have two choices; be a contestant on the show and possibly win a million bucks or face time in jail or rehab. To be honest, what would you go with? On a side note, it is pretty cool that this was filmed at an actual camp in the Poconos. Within moments of exceeding frat boy levels of obnoxious, you come to the realization that these are the characters you are supposed to be identifying with and there’s the underlining problem. NONE of them are identifiable. From the insipid prankster, loudmouth idiot who whenever he spoke, I was screaming “SHUT UP!” at my television to the girl whose dialogue pretty much consist of hate filled, vile homo bashing. Now, I know this can be used to set up a loathsome character, but it becomes so redundant to the point where it’s ineffective and comes off as ignorant. To be fair, there are two other kids that are given some back story and would have been likable if the film had given them a little more development. The only other character that is given a sliver of sympathy is a girl who murdered her brother after he was raping her, but by the end of the film, they manage to strip that away from her.

cd_3It takes serious talent to set up a character with that kind of back story and still make them unlikable by your film’s finale. Wait, is talent the right word?

Julian invites his old producer, John, out to be a part of the show and to bury the hatchet. You see, Julian was notorious for disregarding his actor’s safety and John blew the whistle on him, which in consequence got him black listed from ever directing again. Of course John flies first class to tell Julian off and doesn’t partake in this project. Also joining Julian is Summer Camp actress turned counselor (yeah… quite a coincidence), Rachel, played by Felissa Rose. I was happy to see her come back, but disappointed with how little she is used in the movie and by that I don’t mean she isn’t in it enough, I mean they don’t use her character for much. Come to think of it, they don’t do that with any of the characters in the movie. Like I said, some of them are given a back story or a skill that could be intricate to the plot, but it’s never utilized, because the film makers would rather raise the body count. Hoo-f***ing-ray.

That’s all it is from here… just watching characters die, one by one. The film even drops the ball in this department, often shying away from gore, never really showing much or paying off with its kills. Although some of the kills are creative, such as a prosthetic leg being used to bash someone’s head in and killing another character with a decapitated head. So there is that, but even then it hardly feels worth it. While people are getting picked off, you see Julian has an ulterior motive, a secret plan, but it doesn’t come as a surprise, since you see it coming from the beginning of the film. The killer is exactly who you think it is, certain characters turn on each other the way you thought they would and Eric Roberts is more sleazy than he leads on to be, just as you expected. Speaking of not coming as a surprise, we have a predictable twist ending to get to…

cd_4And just when you were thinking, “Hey, wasn’t Danielle Harris in this movie?” She pops up at the end to unconvincingly tie up the predictable, tired and cliched ending you were really hoping the film wasn’t going for, although it was evident it would, as the movie falls apart in the final act. Well, thanks anyway, Ms. Harris. Your check is in the mail.

For the majority of its run time, Camp Dread walks that fine line of a good bad movie or just bad… and during the final act, it leaps way past that line. This is a film that plays it safe, never taking any risks by sticking to the same predictable cliches you’ve seen done to death and are bored to tears with. It’s almost frustrating at moments when you realize the alternate route they could go in terms of the story and you so badly want it to, but it never does. It tries to push itself at times, trying to be “in your face,” with homophobic bashing and shocking you with potential rape, but it all comes off as annoyingly mean spirited. There is a huge difference between shockingly offensive, controversial and seeming ignorant. This is something the movie can’t seem to figure out, most likely due to the one dimensional, meat headed, bigoted characters, that all seem to be those stereotyped Jersey Shore jock types (because that’s exactly who the majority of any audience wants to spend a 90 minute movie with…). You can’t just have several characters spew out dense, childish homo-bashing lines and expect it to flesh out a character, especially when all of your characters are despicable to begin with. And that’s where one of the major flaws of the movie is; there are too many characters and all but a few are sympathetic, not that they do anything with them anyway. Which brings up another issue… there are WAY too many characters. Camp Dread opts for more characters to increase a body count, rather than a few well developed, solid characters to focus on. It’s a story with too many unlikable, selfish characters with absolutely no character or anything to round them out as a human being. They are just slasher fodder. I can’t tell you how sick and tired I am, or a good population of the horror community for that matter, of horror films that set up horrible, unlikable characters for the sake of getting killed off in the name of a body count. This is a movie will fall into the void of forgettable dime-a-dozen slashers.

Camp Dread
It’s frustrating because although this plot is so generic and uninspiring, there are moments where if the filmmakers had taken a risk, it could have been something unexpected and possibly good. It often teases something scandalous, like a lesbian sex scene, but never goes that route. It’s a film that really wants to shock you with sex, violence and imagery, but it comes off as annoying instead. Like those vegetarians that have to constantly remind you they are a vegetarian and scoff and get upset when there aren’t more vegetarian options at places to eat. It really pains me to experience what I felt while watching this film, because it sounded interesting, but alas, just a diarrhea wolf in sheep clothing. Overall, there isn’t much to be offered here in terms of story, gore, nudity… nothing to really give fans anything they want, unless you are looking for a shameless body count. Perhaps you should go to space camp instead.

Check out this review and plenty others at Goon Reviews.

roadside attractions

  • Eric Roberts, professional sleaze.
  • Hello, Danielle Harris…
  • Angela returns to camp.
  • He has a ‘leg up.’
  • Hanging meat.
  • Head catapulting!
  • …goodbye, Danielle Harris.
totals

6

blood

BLOOD

Arrow through the eye and a decapitation, but mostly tame.

4

blood

BREASTS

A peak here and there.

3

beast

BEASTS

When it comes down to it, just about everyone is a monster and it is stale.

4.3 OVERALL
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Watch the trailer for “Camp Dread!

trailers

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Mar

Comments Off on The Flesh and Blood Show

The Flesh and Blood Show
1972 – R – Redemption Films
96 Minutes – Starring Ray Brooks, Luan Peters – Directed by Pete Walker

Who doesn’t love a good a good murder mystery? In fact, one of the most popular television shows is about an elderly woman who is a writer/detective and the old people love it! When that show comes on, it’s like ecstasy being broadcast over an unseen signal, like in They Live only in a retirement home. Old people aside, I’ve always loved the idea of a ‘who-done-it,’ playing along with the movie as I mentally collect clues and try to solve the puzzle of the murders that will lead to the identity of the killer. Mario Bava’s A Bay of Blood is a perfect example (especially with that set up), but others can fall kind of flat, like Pete Walker’s The Flesh and Blood Show.

Of course you don’t realize this until it’s over, but it’s not a completely bad experience, nor will it leave a sour aftertaste in your mouth. For the most part, it seems to keep everything at a good pace, although feeling like it’s dragging out from time to time until you reach the film’s climax when it feels like it should have been over for some time. Perhaps one of the biggest flaws it has is its plot that has not aged well. Sure, in the early 70’s it probably wasn’t all that common, but now audiences may find that it’s been done to death, especially when parts of it resemble April Fool’s Day. It’s comprised of part mystery, part proto-slasher and part sleazy go-go. Sounds good on paper, but the execution…

fbs_2Like most slashers, there is an obnoxious character, John, and for whatever bizarre reason, decides to go to his friend Carol’s flat with a knife in his belly, but it’s nothing more than a prank. Maybe John and Shelly from Friday the 13th Part 3 are pen pals. Anyway, he stopped by… at 2 o’clock in the morning… waking Carol, who is completely nude and shares a bed with her flatmate Jane (do they have your attention now?) to tell them he has just been offered to have a role in the improv theater show The Flesh and Blood Show at Dome Theater, which has been closed for a very long time after a horrible event took place. Coincidentally, Carol and Jane also have been invited to participate in the show, so off they go to the creepy old abandoned theater where horrible things await them.

They meet up with the rest of the crew comprised of bad 70’s haircuts; Tony the Aussie, Simon, who you will swear is a miniature Mick Jagger stunt double, sexy blonde Angela and Mike, the show’s producer. By a first glance at this place, you should know better not to go in, as it is plagued with all the run down theme park cliches and probably has the actual plague floating around. But that doesn’t stop them from going about their rehearsal or sleeping there. Too cheap to cough up the quid for a hotel, the cast and crew decide to sleep there and it doesn’t take long for things to get sleazy. One of the girls instantly jumps in the sack with Tony for knowing him all of about several minutes and another girl decides to rub Carol down topless as John watches from afar. As if this theater wasn’t caked in enough filth and grime, here’s some more.

I won’t lie. It’s an awesome scene.

fbs_3Immediately following that scene, a scream is heard and the lesbian girl (sorry, I forgot her name and I’m forced to identify her by her character trait) has gone missing. After searching the theater, Mike finds her head on top of a shelf and her body next to a guillotine, but keeps it from the others. I’m actually kinda stunned that a theater has a properly working guillotine. He does, however, get the fuzz involved, but upon inspecting the “crime scene,” all evidence of any murder has been hidden, which is impressive to not leave any trace of a recent decapitation. Everyone chalks it up to John and one of his practical jokes, but soon they find a note that stating why she left… but the note was actually left behind by the killer! Oh well, time to find her replacement. This is showbiz, after all. Enter up and coming film actress Julie!

The town may be as dead as our recently departed blonde, but a local nearby restaurant is still open and probably the only clean thing in town. This is where we meet an elderly man, Major Bell, who you can guess is the killer if you have any deductive powers. The cast crew occasionally pays visit to him and his wife (played by Sheila Keith from Frightmare) in between their rehearsals. Nothing much really happens, until Carol decides she wants to go for a stroll alone one night along the dock. John follows her out, unbeknownst to her, when she is attacked and nearly raped by what appears to be a hobo, until her screams are heard and the gang, minus John, find her. They all come to realize he wasn’t around and becomes the prime suspect… until his body is found a few days later by the police and in a twist, has been dead since that night he followed Carol outside? So if not him, then who?

Like I said earlier, it’s pretty obvious.

fbs_4After some more rehearsals of random things, spiced up with plenty of nudity, they eventually notice someone is running the spotlight (face palm) and another of the crew is killed. As the lights go dim, the Major shows up spewing lines from a play as he confesses to the murders and that it was him who committed the horrible acts long ago and tells us the tale in flashback form. Even after, he still prances about, regurgitating lines from the previous play, to which the remaining members of the crew use to their advantage and cleverly, and oddly somehow, reenact the events of his crime. Since he’s bonkers and his lid has clearly flipped, that same evening from long ago is playing out in his mind. The 5-0 shows up in time, arrest the Major and the crew comes to the realization that in order to kill some of their actors, he must’ve had help… from his daughter… who may be with them at this moment!

As you can gather, The Flesh and Blood Show resembles the Scooby Doo cartoon, only with boobs and wieners (yeah, you get full frontal… ladies). Overall, it feels very stiff and as if you’ve seen it a hundred of times before (which you have, but for the time this wasn’t that common of a plot), it teeters slightly over the edge of sleaze, just enough to keep you watching. It’s self aware of how voluptuous the females are in this movie and will often parade them around fully nude. As you realized, the slasher and mystery bits, in retrospect, seem very cut and paste and tired by today’s standards. The film itself now is considered to be very tame, but at its time, it’s one that could spark a bit of controversy. Maybe it’s the title, but I can’t help but feel this should have been a Herschell Gordon Lewis film, who could have truly brought the sleaziness and violence that the title provokes.

One pretty interesting thing The Flesh and Blood Show does is present the flashback sequence in 3-D in black and white (Pete Walker sure loved his black and white flashbacks, huh?) The scene during the film is standard, but you do have the option in the bonus features of watching the ten minute sequence in anaglyphic red-blue process (for those of you who don’t know, anaglyphic works better in black and white) or if you have a 3D TV, you can check it out in stereoscopic as well. I was able to watch the scene in anaglyphic (make sure you have the classic red and blue glasses, they aren’t included) and it worked pretty well, except for when things are supposed to really pop out at you, like when a character points something directly at the lens, the image seems to split apart. Other special features on the disc are a theatrical trailer and another interview with Pete Walker.

The Flesh and Blood Show
In the end, it’s a little underwhelming and hard to believe that it also received an X rating. Lacking in genuine scares and gore (again like Frightmare, most kills take place off camera), The Flesh and Blood Show has little to offer, but it does have some of that old fashioned grindhouse, go-go sleaziness to it. So if you ever wanted to see what an episode of Scooby Doo would look like with sex and murder, then you should give it a watch.

Check out this review and plenty others at Goon Reviews.

roadside attractions

  • John’s jokes are a real punch in the gut.
  • Go-Go full frontal nudity.
  • She lost her head over this play.
  • “Old man Withers!”
  • 3D Flashback Revenge.
  • Daughter secrets.
totals

4

blood

BLOOD

Most of the death occurs off screen making it a mystery… as to why the hell they didn’t show it!

9

blood

BREASTS

These voluptuous, curvy ladies show you why the theater is awesome. Minus a point for 70’s bush and dong.

3

beast

BEASTS

You have to be more useless than lint in a couch cushion to be killed by this old man.

5.3 OVERALL
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Watch the trailer for “The Flesh and Blood Show!”

trailers

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Mar

Comments Off on Frightmare

Frightmare
1974 – R – Redemption Films
86 Minutes – Starring Rupert Davies, Sheila Keith – Directed by Pete Walker

Let’s be all serious for a moment and think; does censorship really protect us? Throughout the 70’s and 80’s, the UK was severely bringing the hammer down on horror films, believing they made sadists, psychopaths and bullies out of the everyday normal Joe. The solution? To excise all sex and violence out of the film, often leaving the final cut incomprehensible. I recently talked about My Bloody Valentine and how the R rated cut of the film’s finale left you puzzled as you saw Axel running away holding his arm. But what you didn’t see was him sawing his own arm off, thus explaining why he was holding his arm. So maybe it wasn’t always incomprehensible, but you certainly were left with a product that was lackluster and taking away elements as to why you are watching the film. In horror’s case; the aforementioned sex and violence.

The BBFC (now apparently at it again) became so notorious for this, that horror films unjustifiably became targeted and heavily censored or downright banned just because of the fact that it was a horror film! Whether it was advertising (via posters or reviews) or because a filmmaker became notorious for having made controversial horror films, it would seem that the BBFC would demand severe cuts or ban the film without actually having taking a look at the film. Now, we know this doesn’t keep the material out of the wrong hands, like children, but that’s a different topic for a different day.

fm_2After years pass, possibly many years, this controversy can actually work in favor of the film. Take Frightmare, for example. Although never a Video Nasty, I always heard so much controversy about this film and all the graphic content that got it banned, so in my head I built this movie up to be an exploitation film filled with blood, guts, nudity and every other fun filled nightmare that I could think of. However, if you’ve seen the film… Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that content makes a film good, but you can see how controversy can create a different movie in your head.

Frightmare opens in a black and white sequence during 1957 as a straggler happens upon a farmhouse. He’s welcomed inside, all shot in POV and within moments, a good chunk of his face has been removed and the assailant, now revealed to be Dorothy Yates, is institutionalized in the following scene for having butchered and eaten several people along with her husband Edmund, who had been faking his insanity so that he may be locked up with his wife that he loved so much. Ladies, how many of your guys would take that vow?

Cut to present day 1974 where the daughter of Edmund from a previous marriage, Jackie, is having dinner with some friends all while her stepsister Debbie is out causing a ruckus at a bar. She’s what you would call a “wild card” or “hangs out with a rough crowd.” Don’t believe me? She and her rowdy friends, a biker gang with The Monkee’s style haircuts, beat a bartender within inches of his life just for not serving her a drink for being underage. That’ll teach you to obey the law!

fm_3Dorothy and Edmund have also been declared sane and released, living back in their remote farmhouse. Now, I’m no expert, but wouldn’t they be under probation of some kind or under supervision temporarily? Or maybe I’m wrong and convicted cannibals are free to roam willy nilly once they get that stamp of approval. Jackie puts her love life on hold and keeping her family’s secret to the persistent Graham, who looks like a British Peter Parker, to keep an eye on her father and stepmother. Edmund tells Jackie that he fears Dorothy is already lapsing and up to her old deeds and he has every right to be, because she is. It doesn’t take Dorothy long before she is luring in loners without families or loved ones with tea and tarot card readings that result in their (most of the time) off screen deaths. I have no idea how she fooled such clever doctors.

After several visits from the fuzz, Jackie has had it with Debbie and demands she leave, but newly psychiatrist Graham tells Jackie she needs to be more caring to her sister, because if there is one thing that girl needs it’s negative reinforcement for her bad behavior. But Debbie is beyond a simple scolding, as she claims to have “found” the barkeep from the fight dead and has stored him in her trunk. It’s actually pretty sneaky, since you aren’t sure whether or not Debbie is directly involved in his death, but soon all suspicions are laid to rest, as she has a secret of her own…

Coming home from work one day, Edmund discovers Dorothy in the midst of one of her murders and although he’s shocked and terrified, vows to help her cover it up. Because of his loyalty, Dorothy lets him in on her little secret, that she has been having a little help with her murders from her daughter! Hey, you may as well keep it in the family. Edmund comes to the conclusion that Dorothy will never stop, but Jackie will be a thorn in their side. Hmm, what are crazed murderous cannibals to do?

fm_4After learning of Dorothy’s illness, Graham sets out really figure out what is going on, so I’m sure he will be alright. Jackie heads out to the old farmhouse to bring things to a close, but she may already be too late and discovers the shocking and grisly truth that Dorothy is still murdering… with a little help. Now lacking protection from her father, Jackie is walking into a trap and she may not make it out alive!

After viewing the film, you may have noticed that there is quite a lack of gore. Most of the bloody effects are an aftermath, someone’s face sliced halfway off, but there are a few scenes of Dorothy stabbing someone to death. This is what I meant earlier about a film’s censorship unrealistically boosting your expectations, as I went in expecting murder and mayhem, but what I got was actually a mild, violent filled, shocking and suspenseful tale of a cannibalistic woman that is very well paced. In a way, it reminds me of Texas Chainsaw Massacre. It doesn’t need to show you graphic details, but lets your mind make it up for you. Even though most of the butchering is never seen and we never actually see her eat anyone (the implication is more scary, but clearly not as grotesque), Dorothy is a well developed and truly frightening antagonist. Every moment on screen, you are never sure which way her personality is going to take her, so much so, that I was expecting her to kill Edmund at any moment.

As usual, Redemption did a stellar job restoring the film from its original 35mm prints. Although slight discoloration and grain is present, the overall image quality is clean and sharp, revealing beautiful detail to the visceral imagery. As for the audio, there isn’t a whole lot you can do with something that’s 2.0, but it’s never muffled and the dialogue is clear and understandable and really, you can’t ask for more. It’s almost impossible to restore a forty year old film without some remaining damage, but Redemption manages to make it the best it will ever be. On a special features note, there is an interview with director Pete Walker as he recalls the film and talks about how the censorship was a help to the publicity, a look at the work of Sheila Keith, the actress who played Dorothy, a trailer and a commentary track.

Frightmare
If the sight of pulling out intestines, eating splines and feasting upon the organs of people, as blood spews like a faucet isn’t your thing… then you’ll probably enjoy Frightmare, as I’ve said, it doesn’t show much gore, but rather pulls the punches in the suspense. Although not quite living up to its famous controversy, Frightmare is still a bloody good time that’s good for a scare with plenty of secrets.

Check out this review and plenty others at Goon Reviews.

roadside attractions

  • My Step Mother is a Cannibal next on Maury.
  • Not the WB Sister/Sister that you remember.
  • Some death with your tea?
  • For England, they have some nice teeth.
  • Husband of the year.
  • Driller killer.
totals

5

blood

BLOOD

Some squirts, some sprays and some eyeball removal.

5

blood

BREASTS

Jackie sports some cleavage making you want to see more.

8

beast

BEASTS

Debbie will break your heart and Dorothy will eat it!

6 OVERALL
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Feb

posted by admin | February 6, 2014 | Fantasy, Horror movies, modern horror, Reviews by the Goon, screeners

Comments Off on She-Wolf of the Woods

She-Wolf of the Woods
2013 – Not Rated – Stay Curious Productions

Women, am I right? If they aren’t trying to break your heart, they’re trying to eat it, because they transform into supernatural beasts at night. Seems like it’s always the case, especially in Scotland. Just what in Sam-hell is going on over there? And who is Sam? Grab a pint and let’s find out.

This story takes place in the Dalavich Village of Scotland, to be exact. After a very cool transition shot of the moon fading into a light bulb, a young woman named Amy has just finished a shower (sorry fellas, no nudity here) and is hungry for a snack, removing a severed hand from the fridge, making for one of the few gore scenes in the film. It cuts to the title credits before we see what she does with it, so whether it was baked or pan fried in a sauce, we will never know.

As the not fitting, but somehow fitting funky, almost soft-core 70’s porn music continues, Amy meanders in the woods drinking some whiskey and kicking a soccer ball in a child’s face (I have to ask, does it make me a bad person if I unintentionally laughed at that?). After ditching some evidence, burning what is most likely the clothes of whoever that hand belonged to, she finishes up her drinking to continue drinking at the local tavern. While there, she takes her time scanning the male population there, which are oogling at her so intensely, you could replace them all with cartoon wolves, howling with their tongues and eyes popping out of their heads. She settles on a man in a trucker hat, camo jacket and a handlebar mustache, everything that embodies the stereotypical beer guzzling M-A-N and takes him home. Once her door closes, it goes to black, leaving to our imaginations his fate, which probably isn’t good for him or his mustache.sww_3

The following morning at her day job, which is a Forest Ranger (makes sense when you think about the title of the movie), we are introduced to Ben, who looks like he has raided Roddy Piper’s wardrobe (kilt and all). He exchanges glances with Amy and begins asking questions to a man sitting next to him with an acoustic guitar about her in the most unconvincing southern accent. The man warns Ben not to get involved with her, but do you think he’ll listen? Like most people in this movie, Ben spends a good amount of his time drinking at the tavern, where he and Amy talk about his past. His family having died and all, he sure is making a perfect candidate to bring home…

Once they are at Amy’s, you could say Ben certainly gets more than what he bargained for… two for the price of one! A blonde seductress named Lucille joins in on the fun, as the two put on a show for him. Lucille takes him upstairs where things get a little… hairy…

She-Wolf of the Woods is a short film, running just a little over half an hour and in that time frame, it tells a familiar fable modestly. However, I can’t help but have wanted the film to explore the characters of Amy and Lucille a bit more, bringing them into the light and rounding out their characters. A little more back story would have really brought them to life and fleshed them out some. Although they do give Lucille exposition in the final scene (I won’t spoil it), you can’t help but to want the movie to continue to see how the rest of the film could have played out. Also, for a low budget short film, it has some of the most remarkable and beautiful lighting and cinematography I have seen in some time. It sets up and further enhances the atmosphere of the scene, feeling like a mix of comic book and modern gothic horror at times.

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She-Wolf of the Woods
Whereas gorehounds may find it to be underwhelming, fans of Lycan mythology will find their appetites pleased and wanting more. So who knows, maybe we will see more? I guess we’ll find out on a full moon.

Check out this review and plenty others at Goon Reviews.

roadside attractions

  • She needed a hand.
  • Drinking Game: Every time a character drinks, take a drink.
  • Mustache ride.
  • Roddy Piper stunt double.
  • The sex can get a little “hairy”..
totals

3

blood  

BLOOD

Nothing you really need a rain coat for.

8

blood  

BREASTS

The movie fills out well in this category.

 

7

beast  

BEASTS

 

The big bad and her companion have quite the appetite.

6 OVERALL
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