The Lost Highway's B-movie Reviews and Cult Films
Oct

posted by admin | October 11, 2006 | Action, B-movie Reviews

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Starship Troopers

“Ain’t nobody gonna take my last hot pocket…when you want a big meal without a big deal, whatya gonna fix sir?!”

Was this movie intending to be this insanely funny? Playing out something like a comic book with a satirical jab at our current government policies. The story takes place in the future where the military rules our world as a single fascist world government. Highschool kids are encourage to become “citizens” by joining the military and to fight the ever present war against a far off planet of insects. Johnny Rico our main dumb headed hero is played by Casper Van Dien. What mother names their son Casper? Does he have the ability to move through walls? Is he extremely pale? Anyways Rico is in love with Carmen (Dennis Richards) who has joined the military to become a fighter pilot and to apparently get away from Charlie Sheen. So what does a smart high school student like Rico decide? Well of course he decides not to go to college and insteads join the infantry to fight giant blood thirty insects. This is mainly done to impress Carmen. By the way these insects did’t actually invade earth, they are just chillin’ on another planet minding their own business when we come bustin’ in shooting up the place with our machine guns and mini nuke bombs. Our reason for doing the big Orkin job was apparently an asteroid hit earth and we blame it on the bugs who just happen to live a million miles away. I have no idea what this parallels in todays news. hmmmmm….. Apparently in the future we still haven’t developed phaser guns though unfortunately. Definitely a great action movie and some hilarious dialog and would fall into my top 5’s of movies for guys who like movies.

rated 7.6 out of 10
learn more about this movie at imdb.com

Oct

posted by admin | October 2, 2006 | B-movie Reviews, Uncategorized

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They Live

“I’ve come to kick butt and wear RayBans…and I’m all outta RayBans!”

Okay I guess I started my ode to John Carpenter early. Let’s start with one my favorites. “They Live” is a great sci-fi movie interrupted only  by an overly long wrestling matches. Roddy Piper plays Nada, a tough guy construction worker with a bad mullet trying to edge out a living in the big city. Yes, the same Roddy Piper from the wrestling fame. So in the movie Roddy, oops I mean Nada *snicker at girly name here* is unemployed and hunting the street for work when he runs across some strange sunglasses. These sunglasses give him the ability to see the world as it really is. The world is run by Aliens controlling us through subliminal messages in our advertising and media! I knew it! How else can you explain things like Oprah or Tom Cruise being so popular. All media print and advertising is just cover for subliminal messages like “obey” ,”sleep” ,”consume”, “marry and multiply.” The last ad apparently worked on me.  3 kids an a mini-van later. All I’ve got to say is put on your sunglasses or you’ll be asking for a whole heap of hurt. Check it out!

rated: 8.3 out of 10
Learn more about this movie at imdb.com

Sep

posted by admin | September 22, 2006 | B-movie Reviews, Uncategorized

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“Help me! I’m in a made-for-TV movie!”

What happens when you cross Jaws with a little road rage? You get Duel. Or you get a big shark flopping around on a highway. Either way Steven Spielberg’s early directorial effort showcases his unique ability for gripping thrillers. In this made-for-TV movie, Dennis Weaver plays David Man, a wimpy-mannered businessman taking a long drive across the badlands of California. Along his way encounters a intimidating semi-trunk which looks even more sinister in David’s enormous 70’s sunglasses. The trucker continually annoys and taunts him. Just a typical day for commuting for most of us turns into a evil game of cat and mouse for David. The frustration leads to David screaming out such expletives as “Hey man, you jerk!” or “Come on, give me a break.” Wow! harsh words from a hardened street-wise insurance salesman. Actually he might not have sold insurance but it just seems like that’s the type of job he would have..must have been the suit and sideburns. Anyways, the truck, much like the shark in Jaws, is an unstoppable mysterious evil force with a bad exhaust problem. We never really see the driver of the malevolent truck and are put in David’s position even hearing his own thoughts as he tries to come to grips with his situation. I think I still hear his voice when I get cut-off by a semi on the highway. I just want to blurt out “You’re wrong, mister. I mean if you think you can just… just take that… that truck of yours and use it as a murder weapon and uh… killin’ people on the highway… you’re wrong! You got another thing comin’….. Now where are my huge sunglasses?!” I really enjoyed this neat little thriller. Check it out.


rated: 8.2 out of 10
learn more about this movie at imdb.com

Sep

posted by admin | September 16, 2006 | B-movie Reviews

Comments Off on Escape from New York

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“I’ve got my eye on you.”

Hey didn’t that guy marry Goldie Hawn and perform in such memorable movies as “Overboard” and “Sky High?” Before those dark years, Kurt Russell made actually great films like “Big Trouble in Little China” and “The Thing” and of course his pinnacle of success, “Escape from New York.” No, He’s not stuck in midtown traffic or lodged in a herd of human cattle aboard a smelly subway. He’s a convincted bank robber named Snake Plissken who is forced to be sent into to rescue the president. The president has crashed into Manhattan which has been turned into a maximum security prison. This movie supposedly take place in the future…1998. Uh…well Manhattan has some snobby pet owners but I wouldn’t say it’s an island prison yet. Snake has 24 hrs to get the president out and yet Keither Sutherland never makes a cameo and of course this just puts Snake in a bad mood. He was already pretty grumpy getting caught robbing a bank and all. Snake Plissken is one bad dude and is the greatest anti-hero of the early 80’s. Combine John Wayne, Dirty Harry, and a ticked off pirate and you get Snake. The movie is directed by John Carpenter who is one of my favorite all time directors.This is one of his best gritty action movies. I’ll have some later reviews of some of his other films, but this classic action film is a great place to start a Carpenter marathon.

rated: 9.6 out of 10
learn more about this movie at imdb.com

Sep

posted by admin | September 16, 2006 | B-movie Reviews

Comments Off on The Warriors

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” I need ta jet ta da Pottery Barn to pimp my crib. Word”

Taking place on the mean streets of New York in the early 80’s, this movie defines thick cheesy 80’s atmosphere and thin plotlines. Bad costumes, bad hair, and bad dialog, it ranks among the great early 80’s b-movies. The story revolves around a huge meeting of rival gangs in the big city. When the top gang leader is murdered in front of all the rival gangs at the meeting, the Warriors are blamed for it. Then it’s a desparate race across the city to get back to their Coney Island hideout while other vicious and badly dressed rival gangs are trying to hunt them down. Now when I say rival gangs I mean these are gangs like nothing you’ve ever seen. Some sports baseball player outfits and painted faces while carrying around baseball bats apparently for some late night games. Another gang consist of evil mimes (of course what mime isn’t evil?) This movie has got some great quotes as well like “Can you dig it?!! CAN YOU DIG IT!!!”or “Can you count, suckahs?” Watch for Roger Hills short performance as Cyrus the head gang leader. His speech is priceless…then he gets shot. Maybe the producers couldn’t afford him to talk anymore. I loved this movie, I say check it out suckah!

Rated: 9.3 out of 10
learn more about this movie at imdb.com

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