The Lost Highway's B-movie Reviews and Cult Films

posted by admin | December 11, 2006 | 70's movies, B-movie Reviews

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“Dukes of Hazzard changed my life! Boss Hog is an American hero.”

Wow! not surprisingly Oscars were not be handed out to any of the Hell’s Angels back in 1969 for their stunningly accurate portrayals of themselves in this cheesy biker movie. Can’t say I’ve seen a lot of biker movies so this is my first toe in the water of slurred speeches, drunken brawls and endless footage of motorcycles cruises. The thin plot revolves around two badly dressed rich guys who decide to rob a casino just for “the kicks.” they plan to send the money back to the casino in the mail. Like somehow the casino will be “Oh that’s okay for stealing our cash…at least you returned it. do you need a hug?” The Hell’s Angels find out they’re being used and go after the two robbers in a un-thrilling bike race across the desert. I found it hard to figure out who to root for in this film as despicable characters are abound. However this movie’s saving grace is a great informative and hilarious commentary track from the b-movie guru Joe Bob Briggs and that helps makes the hurt go away.

rated 4.9 out of 10 for the movie…8.7 out of 10 with Job Bob Briggs commentary track turned on
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posted by admin | December 5, 2006 | B-movie Reviews

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The Bubble

“I’m the love doctor. Take two of me and call me in the morning.”

Now with more scrubbing cleansing power. The Bubble sounds like it would be the invasion of a giant household cleaner but that would be just be too obvious and probably more of a frightening story. This film made back in 1966 tells the tale of a couple (Michael and Deborah) and a not-so-great plane pilot (Tony) who make an emergency landing near a desolate town. The town’s inhabitants are a bit strange though even for midwesterners of the 1960’s. Everyone walks around like zombies repeating the same actions over and over. Ok maybe that’s not so strange. The visitors discover a giant blob-like creature at the center of town that the people are walking in and out of like it’s a Walmart supercenter after Thanksgiving. This is freaky enough that Mike, Deborah, and Tony finally decide to leave town. Unfortunately they find out the hard way that the entire town is surrounded by some sort of glass dome hence the name “bubble.” When faced with a giant wall the only logical solution is to drive your truck through it. Oh I forgot to mention this movie is in sickness inducing 3D so you get the gratitous “LOOK AT THIS RAKE!!! ohhhh….ahhhh!!” where objects are thrusted towards the audiences to apparently induce a fears of inanimate objects or yard work. There’s a few genuinely creepy scenes and the storyline is actually quite interesting like an extended old Twilight Zone episode. I saw this when I was a kid and it gave me nightmares so I finally tracked down a DVD copy. Now that I’m an adult it’s lost it’s shock value but is still an enjoyable sci-fi flick. And yes, the 3D glasses are included. I say check it out.

rated 7.9 out of 10
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posted by admin | November 29, 2006 | B-movie Reviews, Horror movies

Comments Off on Return of the Aliens: the Deadly Spawn

The Deadly Spawn

“attack of the sausages”

Ah yes back to the basics of horror film making. You know that if an opening scene starts out with a tent and a campfire in the woods that by the end of the scene you’ll end up with some dead campers. Deadly Spawn adheres to these type of basic principle of horror film writing. The harbinger of bad news in this film comes in the form of meteor crashing to earth with a hungry alien inside it. After a lite brunch of campers the alien hides out in a family’s basement much like a 20 year old who hasn’t left home yet. The alien who resembles a burrito with a thousand teeth continues to chomp through victims that stubornly keep trying to check out the basement. Hilarious as the hapless victims notice all the blood on the walls and still continue looking. People this dumb need to be eaten by a giant sausage. There’s the stereotypical young boy obsessed with horror movies who lives upstairs (and no I didn’t live upstairs when I was young). The science fanboy brother and his girlfriend. There’s the dumb jock guy who is more concerned about failing his upcoming pop quiz than the threat of being eaten alive. It’s an all you can eat buffet of stupidity. Watch for the big showdown between geek horror boy and alien burrito. Marvel at his inginuity, scream at the sight of the alien, laugh at the dialog. If you enjoyed Evil Dead, you’ll like this movie.

rated 7.6 out of 10
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posted by admin | November 14, 2006 | Drama

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The Straight Story

“Is that one of them there new hybrid electric cars?”

After so many b-movies of horror and action and mega-cheese I wanted to review a movie a bit different and special in it’s own right. This movie is a big time tear jerker and amazingly it’s directed by David Lynch. Yes the same twisted David Lynch that brought us Mulholland Drive, Twin peaks, Blue Velvet and Dune. But thankfully there is no ranting Sting in this movie or giant sandworms. Though a sandworm would have helped with the slow pacing of the film. What we get instead is a quiet heart warming tale about an old man, Alvin Straight, who can no longer drive a car but finds out his brother is deathly ill. He decided against the advice of daughter drives his tractor across multiple states to see him meeting interesting characters along the way. A great movie of determination and love with hints of David Lynch’s deeper subtext of portraying the human story. Check it out. It will make you a better person for seeing it.

rated 9.3 out of 10
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posted by admin | November 9, 2006 | Action, Horror movies

Comments Off on Dog Soldiers


“He’s almost as hairy as Robin Williams”

In honor of the elections and all the wonderful campaign ads we’ve seen, I thought a good movie would be about a pack vicious hungry wolves creatures craving human flesh. Like politicans encrouching in on a campaign contributor, the story revolves around a group of British solders sent out on a training mission in the highlands of Scottland. They soon encounter what’s left of a special ops team which is mostly gooey bits and pieces and eventually arrive at the conclusion something might be dangerous in the woods. Was it a ravenous bear? crazy racoons? vicious tree squirrels? Nope…the more logical choice is a pack of werewolves. The team high-tails it out of there and holds up in a abandoned house for their last stand. If only they had some kibble and bits to throw out the window. Some great action and gore in this film. If you liked “aliens” and laugh when your dog bites the mailman you’ll love this movie.

rated 8.1 out of 10
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